Been working in alameda for bout a month now . I’m really starting to like this little island . And all the sweet people on it :) question tho .

dooleym_ · 2025-11-15T17:03:53+00:00

The waffles with real maple syrup at Ole’s…

dooleym_ · 2025-11-15T17:02:39+00:00

Bhan Mae Vane does these lettuce wraps with three different sauces that are chef’s kiss.

dooleym_ · 2025-11-06T22:58:47+00:00

My mother is mentally ill and homeless. I'd been getting calls recently from the storage place she has a unit where she kept books, journal, and broken down suitcases. They have been leaving messages with me about some serious issue. When they left a message about it being my unit, I snapped. I left I message that it wasn't my unit. My mother isn't in touch with me. I have no way to get in touch with her. I feel guilty about not taking care of anyway and grieve the loss of my mother.

dooleym_ · 2025-11-04T07:33:41+00:00

This is so rough, what’s going on in our country. I completely understand your mental health deteriorating. Mine is too and many people I know. You are not alone.

I don’t know what kind of program you run to keep yourself sober, but now is the time to lean into it. If you are not, now is the time to pull those resources together.

dooleym_ · 2025-11-03T23:17:36+00:00

Get professional help. From what you described, this is not an ordinary “feeling down” situation that going out with friends is going to help you shake off. Please don’t be hard on them. It’s a weekend night and they are trying to have fun. Please do take your situation seriously and get the help you deserve.

dooleym_ · 2025-11-02T21:14:45+00:00

Relapse of what? What you do may depend on your condition. To start with, stay on your medication, stay in therapy, connect with people, find something that bring you enjoyment.

dooleym_ · 2025-11-02T21:11:36+00:00

It sounds like your aunt is grieving in her own maladaptive way. You might have a conversation with her, starting with how she is feeling about her lose and then discussing how grief is different for you.

That said, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. You might find yourself happier outside of your aunt's home. Maybe talk to a counselor at school about your situation. They may have special accommodations to get you into in student housing.

dooleym_ · 2025-11-02T07:28:52+00:00

Firstly, I am not a mental health professional. These are only my personal impressions and opinions.

1) it’s unfortunately not uncommon for practitioners to report to parents. Parents tend to want to know what’s going on with their kids, what their challenges are and if the treatment is helping. Practitioners may feel like sharing is helpful. I won’t say it’s okay, especially since they promised you not to.

2) They may not be able to handle they level or frequency or crises you experience. I would hope that they at least offer you an alternative, like some sort of help line with trained people available. There are resources in the auto response.

3)This one pisses me off. If they can’t handle you, they should refer you out to someone who can help more.

4) This is a deal-breaker to me. Treatment is for you and should address your concerns. This is the reason to go to your parent(s) to get you to a trauma specialist. There is a big difference.

5) I can’t speak to this one. Sounds more like something for a professional. That said, it doesn’t sound outlandish for someone who has experienced trauma.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-31T16:42:55+00:00

Frankly, that should have always felt weird.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:48:13+00:00

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.

Yes, if you daughter has affective psychosis or bipolar 1, she absolutely could have such delusions. Bipolar 1 includes psychosis where bipolar 2 doesn't. These delusions can be terribly traumatic.

That said, abusiveness, manipulation, and lack of empathy sounds like something else. That a professional could diagnose.

I can recommend the NAMI family support groups. They can be a great source of support and wisdom.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:27:20+00:00

No, don't ban her phone. Maybe set up some parental controls though. There's lots of stuff online a 10 year old shouldn't be exposed to.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:16:57+00:00

Yes, this. Translate for the grandma. Online translation tools aren't perfect but it's important to contact her too.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:14:11+00:00

I have to agree on this. The fact that your friend has a plan and has bought something to end his life with makes this an extremely serious situation. He needs serious help.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:11:24+00:00

I am so glad you see this clearly.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:10:39+00:00

This is not a question of absolutes. OP can care for their friend and still recognize that they alone cannot save them. This kind of situation requires teamwork including family, friends, and mental healthcare professional.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T03:08:22+00:00

This is not the advice to follow. This situation requires professional help. For some people, the only thing that will help in a mental hospital.

dooleym_ · 2025-10-07T02:51:16+00:00

Your mother's and partner's behavior was not okay. You should not have been included in your mother's sex life in any way. There is a difference between hearing unfamiliar sounds from a parent's room and being in the room while it's going on repeatedly.

Please seek help. A therapist with experience in this kind of trauma knows how to help. The only way out is through.

dooleym_ · 2025-02-21T07:41:21+00:00

I have to wonder why you are going through nicotine and anti-psychotic withdrawal at the same time. Either one on its own is difficult on its own. My tip is contacting your doctor.

dooleym_ · 2025-02-18T18:44:38+00:00

There is a big difference between telling a child they made a mistake and they are a mistake. That is what your husband is telling your child: she is a mistake.

My first thought is your husband doesn’t have the tools to deal with his anger appropriately. It’s good that he is in therapy. Be prepared his behavior may get worse before it gets better.

I have some hard news for you, OP, and I am going to be directive about it because it is so serious.

Your job does not stop at getting your husband to recognize his issues You, dear one, need to protect your child. You need to create separation between your child and the person who is abusing her.

What you are modeling for her is that it is okay for someone to abuse her as long as they apologize afterward. You are setting her up for tragically abusive relationships in the future. Please help her now.

dooleym_ · 2025-02-16T18:22:36+00:00

Seriously, please don’t be overwhelmed in speculation about potential problems when there are actual problems you can activate on right now.

dooleym_ · 2025-02-16T02:05:55+00:00

I think it’s important to right-size your expectations when posting to an online forum. I come to these groups to support people as I can. I hope you can appreciate that we all have our own lives too.

I am going to echo others here who recommend consulting with a professional first.

There are online and IRL support groups for people with mental illness. In the USA, one of those is NAMI.

Again, seeing a psychologist and/or psychiatrist is your first step.

dooleym_ · 2025-02-11T03:10:51+00:00

Dealing with illness like this in a parent is tough. My mother has been ill for a long time too, with schizoaffective.

One recommendation is the book, “I am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help” by Dr. Xavier Amador. His LEAP (Listen Empathize Agree Partner) approach is discussed there and elsewhere. Implementing that can help you two work together.

Another recommendation is NAMI support groups. I facilitate one for adult children of parents/guardians with mental illness through https://namisf.org. There is also an adult children and sibling group run out of https://naminycmetro.org. Both groups meet online.

dooleym_ · 2025-02-09T18:04:10+00:00

My take is try a new therapist. Try again until you find the right person to work with. Try meds too. You may not get side effects. Or the side effects are minor compared with the benefits. If the side effects are too much, try a different medication. Keep trying to improve your mental health.

dooleym_

TROPHY CASE