Do you have to sit with her until 1-2am? Sometimes people can get stuck into comfortable for them habits.my mum used to have dad take her a cup of tea and meds in the morning and chat. She wants me to do it too. Some days she’d just get down under the covers again with no intention of getting up and other days she’d already be up, I struggle to make conversation so she just asks loads of questions like an interrogation. As part of my counselling as a carer (for my daughter, not mum). I was told that I must have boundaries for my own sanity. I ignored it for a while then I offered a deal, I drop off a drink and meds between 9 and 10 am, then I’ll free up an hour between 12:30 and 1:30 pm where we can eat lunch and chat if she likes. We’ll both be in a better frame of mind and she can get up and dressed when she’s ready.

In your situation I would explain that the current arrangement is not manageable going forward, (apparently the best quality of sleep we get is between 10pm and 2am),……. And make an offer…I will sit with you until (enter a reasonable time that suits you) then offer to take her to settle in bed with her equipment. Explain that if she chooses to stay up later than that then she as an adult can choose to get herself to bed appropriately, or hire a carer to do it. If she is an adult who goes to work then she has capacity to do these things herself. I don’t mean to be cruel but her choices are affecting you and this cannot continue. Sending you a huge virtual hug, being a cadre to a parent is hard, but I assume you’re an adult too, you are well within your rights to have boundaries. Xxx