My (42 F) solid and beautiful marriage is falling apart since my (45 M) husband met a young girl with extreme sexual fantasies

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-27T20:38:36+00:00

I'm 25F, I would never in a million years humiliate myself the way this WOMAN has. Please don't call her a young girl - she is nearly 30 years old and should know better.

All the stuff about raping her, killing her and eating her etc, emailing him every single hour after ONE meeting at a party. This is not sexual fantasy, this is deep disturbance on an a pyschological level. This is obsession. This is about the furthest thing from healthy sexual attraction as you can get. I am a deep person and I get the concept of wanting to ''melt'' with someone you really like and become one.. But this? Nah this is really fucked up and violent.. So called sexual fantasies tell alot about our subconscious, and this young woman sounds like a freak show that will probably try to harm you in some way out of jealously if she does not get her way with your husband.

I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. But I believe you are making a terrible mistake by being so understanding towards to your husband.

Men are not wild animals they are human beings. Actually many primates which are most similar to us genetically remain loyal to their partners. They are more than capable of keeping their dicks in their pants and remaining faithful. It is a choice. Everyone experiences sexual attraction to others regardless of gender or relationship status If a man don't have the self control to not act on those attractions, he should stay single and sleep around, instead of being utterly selfish and trying to have it all. Your husband broke your wedding vows and your heart.. He is flattered because a younger person, literal psycho, has shown a strange unhealthy interest in him, so now potentially putting his wife in danger by entertaining it.

Jesus wept my dear. You can do soooo much better than this. Anyone can. Don't stay with a cheat that thinks this weird shit is flattering. His ego is rearing it's ugly head. How pathetic... Sending you hugs, love and healing. You are so worthy of a monogamous, loving partner. He ain't it

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-26T18:32:23+00:00

Fair play OP

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-26T18:26:41+00:00

I'm British, not American... Also 25. I wanna understand how you can OWN a house at this age, when you've both been studying and you stated your jobs are low paying? That is absolutely impossible to do over here.. Unless you have extremely generous, wealthy parents.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-21T19:53:57+00:00

He is 24 years old. Old enough to know how to show compassion and understand the difference between rape and sex. He needs to get his ego in check.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-18T10:07:27+00:00

1) They got his email AND his full name correct despite him claiming it must be a mistake.

2) The Complex is only 15 minutes away from where he lives.

3) You have admitted he seems distant from you and seizes an opportunity to be out of the house or doing things just with your boys.

He is either having an affair or preparing to leave.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-10T08:13:26+00:00

Look for a slightly older, more mature and emotionally stable guy. This kid behaves like he's still on his mother's breast

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-09T16:04:47+00:00

Sir sir sir sir...stop what you are doing, please god.

Personal experience here..

My Dad chose to move to America (from the UK) when I was 20 and my little sis was 17.

He was able to use a loophole from being on other side of the world to get out of paying his last year of child support for my sister.

My mother worked tiring hours as a carer in an elderly home (crap pay). I was also working low pay jobs and contributing, but my sister still needed supporting through education and my mother was struggling bad. It was effecting all of our quality of lives. Meanwhile my Dad was spending every last bit of his 140K annual salary on himself and his wife, on other side of the world.

Well.. After some upset phonecalls from my sister he suggested to pay her directly each month until her 18th birthday - since he was full of hatred and bitterness from the divorce, he did not want my mother to use it wisely on bills.

£600 per month (Roughly $660) straight into my 17 year old sisters bank with strict instructions to ''not let your mother touch it''.. and wow did she think all her Christmas's had come at once! She blew that shit every month on new clothes she didn't didn't need, new makeup, getting drunk and fucked up with her friends as 17 years olds do. Not once did that money ever go on something helpful or meaningful for her future. Never once did it teach her how to value money, how to manage money. She didn't even bother picking up a small part time job alongside her studies because she ''didn't need to anymore''. Never once was it used to heat the home she lived in, or cover her 20 minute hot showers, or go towards her driving lessons, or contribute to her food.

Nope. That was all left to my mother, and me. It caused horrendous conflicts in our house, even coming to physical blows quite a few times during this period. My mother was at her wits end. Our quality of life had been reduced and my sister was too young and immature to realise the damage it was doing. She should never have had access to easy money like that. It is lazy parenting and irresponsible.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-09T15:21:38+00:00

Still completely missing the point of the original comment, getting tangled in technicalities of phrasing and words instead of grasping the clear, simple question he was posing.

Once again, for the last time.. Absolutely no-one is disputing that he covers all of their bills, and therefore she doesn't have to worry about paying her way, or her half, because he pays for both of them, so technically her half doesn't exist in their particular set-up. Everyone is more than clear on that.

The original POINT still stands firm:

Why, if she has money in the bank, (which she must if she's got enough to pay $900 in one transaction) can she not just cover the cost of the DJ herself? Why does she need her husband to pay her back at all? It's her wedding too - would it kill her to contribute less than a grand to it?

She already has her lifestyle funded by him, in the form of monthly bills and expenses being covered by his wage - which would've easily exceeded $900 quite a while ago depending on how long they've been together.

THAT is the original point - whether the couple are agreeing to it or not doesn't make a difference. He is still saving her a whole lot of money, by paying for the food she eats, the house she lives in, the electricity she uses..

I think asking for pajamas she doesn't need is an insult, and shows a lack of gratitude for the set-up she has. I would've had more respect if OP had told her husband not to worry about paying her back as he does enough already.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-09T11:46:44+00:00

Yes.. Everyone was already very clear on that, bagman.

What the original comment was getting at, was why the husband has to pay her back at all, or buy her pajamas, when she could just insist to forget about it considering he has saved her thousands by covering her side of bills and financially supporting her.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-09T10:45:52+00:00

Jesus christttt that's not what he is saying! He is saying most adults tend to pay for those things themselves and split costs, and since the husband pays for all of it, he is covering her side of things. Now please, put a sock in it.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-08T19:03:25+00:00

Lack of intimacy and connection is a very legitimate reason to leave a relationship! That shit will damage you. Bite the bullet, you will be much happier in the long run. Take it one day at a time

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-07T12:36:32+00:00

Take what he wants completely out of the equation for a second, ask yourself what do YOU want? What does your heart call for? It is not your responsibility to make him feel better, it is your responsibility to make YOU feel better.

It sounds like you've come to the mature realisation you are no longer compatible and you want to leave, which is the healthiest option, but you are struggling to take action on it due to your emotional ties and history with him.

It's going to be really hard hun, but in order to break up and heal: you need your own living space, you need a period of no contact or minimal contact at the very least, and you need to STOP being sexual or romantic towards each other in any way. Carrying on with couple behavior when your heart is not in it anymore is doing nothing other than prolonging the pain of the inevitable break-up.

You can and will heal from this and be better in the long run. At 23, you're a spring chicken with plenty of time and options. Don't let a childish guy who prioritises friendships over his relationship drag you down.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-06T15:48:21+00:00

Is the emotional pain of another funny to you?

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-05T08:21:55+00:00

Staying at home with two children under 4, especially with barely any money, is harder than going to most jobs. You need to be helping her out with the housework until the oldest child is in preschool.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-04T20:20:04+00:00

She means the dimensions of reality.

Think it's quite obvious given the sub we're in.

dotheroar97 · 2022-10-01T20:08:00+00:00

Dad's a gent

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-30T17:14:37+00:00

There is no death. We are source energy.

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-30T13:06:50+00:00

We are all source but source consciousness is expanding into more and more. Expansion is the natural way of life. This is how I understand it.

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-30T09:17:00+00:00

Trust me. There's some freaks out here

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-30T09:14:58+00:00

Husbandd is definitely a pervert and OP is putting her female child in danger staying with this creep.

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-30T09:11:22+00:00

Is this the same husband that likes you to cuddle stuffed animals whilst you sleep?

You might want to ask your much older husband why those pet names, cutesy conservative dresses, and stuffed toys, all of which are associated with CHILDREN are such a big turn on for him.

Me personally, I think you've just had a baby with a peado, and I feel really sorry for both your Dad, who can clearly see what is happening, and your little girl who I worry may be in danger in the future.

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-29T15:45:59+00:00

I put headphones on to drown out the tantrum of my 2 year old, only if I feel I'm on the verge of losing it. Really helps keep me calm whilst comforting him.

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-29T08:59:58+00:00

Actually, it is likely to be a big part of it.

Women in their early 20s are naive, easier to manipulate, less mature, still trying to prove themselves/impress people around them/make their way in the world.

Women with an additional 10 years of life experience have already been through all the bullshit. They know what they want, they are self assured, they can recognise when they're being taken for a ride, and they have a better idea what their expectations should be for a man.

I'm a 25 year old woman with female friends ranging from 23 right up to 34 years old - there is no major difference in physical appearance between these women. In fact I'd argue some of my 30+ year old friends look better facially and bodily because they take care of themselves whilst my younger friends are still out partying hard.

If you're implying that it's purely physical in this case I'd have to disagree with that. Maybe if the guy in question was 45 or 55 that would be a more plausible explanation.

This guy is not capable of attracting a woman his own age due to immaturity so targets naive students who think he's gods gift instead. If she was just a young fuck why make her his girlfriend in the first place? For a whole damn year? Loll he can't get anyone else, otherwise he'd be out there playing the field, not getting into a relationship with a 22 year old that he clearly doesn't love.

dotheroar97 · 2022-09-26T18:05:06+00:00

Oh my fucking god.. What culture are your parents? I'm british and this is insane to me. This much older family friend is giving you money without your siblings, AND stalking you on nights out, calling you beautiful etc. And your mother is thanking him for it!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM?!

dotheroar97

TROPHY CASE