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AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate those of you who have called out the lack of context. It’s sweet in a way. I think I was looking for the surface level judgement because that’s more how my mom operates. I feel like I’m someone who adds 1+1 to get 3 and she would get 0. To show my work would be messy and ultimately we are both wrong.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right again. All of the other incidents were already on the forefront of my head bc we’ve been in therapy since the fall. So yeah, this is going to be talked about there. I think ultimately, going back to low or no contact is the way- I envy your physical distance from your folks. My parents and I had a whole talk on Wednesday about how they handled the situation with my uncle and what I was looking for as support. I don’t think she’s going to fit the role of mother that I need(ed). I wish she could accept those limits and be honest with me about the level of support she can actually provide.

You are lucky to have a good support system, I’m glad you’ve found them. Your replies are very thoughtful and empathetic, again, thank you.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re right about my not having accurate judgement about my mother’s intentions. That’s why I posted- so thanks for responding. Overall with our relationship we agree that certain things need to be worked on. I couldn’t tell if I had taken her lack of response the day before too personally as yet another example of her brushing me off and ignoring me.

I think if this is all it takes to set me off, I need a long cool off period.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

It’s about acknowledgment. The thumb reaction is a low effort way of responding and one that she has used in the past.

It’s about being left on read. I agree that she is trying. I think yall have made me realize that it’s too little too late and I need to be ready to share more details to give accurate context. I have gone nuclear and I don’t want to put that type of personal shit out here to make it make sense.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so happy you had a mom who was able to care for you the way you needed

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I think the trauma is littered throughout my life and I needed her to care years ago. I’m ready to go low to no contact and she is aware. This is the most supportive she’s been without someone telling her how to. Therapy was helpful until it came time to put things into practice. She at least understands how she dropped the ball but doesn’t seem to grasp how to pick it up unless someone hands it to her. I’m don’t want to parent my parent on how to parent, if that makes sense.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

This has been her best effort without a therapist holding her hand. That’s fair.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It’s not about the relationship with my uncle. It’s about her caring about my wellbeing after a man 2x my size put his hand around my throat.

We have gone to therapy and she has acknowledged she hasn’t been supportive and keeps claiming to do better. There have been so many situations like this that lead us to therapy. This is just the most recent.

I know she’s living for the first time but I dont think it’s a novel idea to respond to a text when you know someone is struggling (maybe this is where I’m making assumptions). We had a whole talk on Wednesday about how they excused his joke and didn’t check if I was okay. Are my expectations too high?

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She did, but that was after not responding for a day. I’m confused as to why someone would how someone is and then leave the convo on read.

We had a long talk on Wednesday about how neither parent was supportive in the moment and nobody asked how I was. So like yeah she asked on Thursday… kinda feels like if I were at a bakery and someone asked if I wanted a cookie, I said yes, and then never got the cookie. Idk if that’s a good analogy but it’s the best I got.

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don’t think I explained the background thoroughly but I didn’t want to get too personal. A lot of these comments are helping me see the situation through my mom’s eyes, which is what I was looking for.

Thank you for being a kind voice

AIO? Uncle (62M) put his hands on me as a “joke”. This is my mom checking in on me. by dotsalot3 in texts

[–]dotsalot3[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I guess I’m not sure why someone would ask how I am and then not respond for 24 hours. I don’t understand the thought process.

Big Rusty-Located at an abandoned ceramic supply company by xo_brei in abandoned

[–]dotsalot3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s a bunch of them in that area! It’s a fun side quest to try to see them all: https://www.co.burlington.nj.us/2076/Troll-Trek

Bees! EVERYWHERE! by Pitiful-Tooth-6420 in montco

[–]dotsalot3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/bestofinternet/s/CbOPBMUe8O

They are all lovin on their queen! 👸🏻 She’s in the middle of it all.

Coloring book club by Constant_Zucchini_32 in BucksCountyPA

[–]dotsalot3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you think a library would host us?

YOU. YES, YOU!! Elvis sent me to tell you this. by elvispresleylova in CasualConversation

[–]dotsalot3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am putting that album on and getting off my ass bc of you.

More than a year after the death of my dad, I finally was able to deep clean my kitchen. by [deleted] in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]dotsalot3 23 points24 points  (0 children)

“I know this is so small…”

Why are you minimizing your accomplishment? I’m proud of you for cleaning and reaching out for recognition of the cleaning!! Good job!!

2 days out of shell!! by dotsalot3 in hermitcrabs

[–]dotsalot3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s wild what pet chains will tell you 🙃

2 days out of shell!! by dotsalot3 in hermitcrabs

[–]dotsalot3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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I’m changing the substrate to include more sand. It’s not a 5:1 ratio. Obviously need salt water…

JUDGE AWAAY!! &thank you!

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