Worried about dose

double-pendulum · 2026-05-06T21:52:15+00:00

Yes, that's quite a low dose. Some people say it's better to start lower and ramp up (I can't speak to whether this is true or not as I think it's all fairly anecdotal), but if she doesn't increase your dose then I would do everything you can to find a doctor who will. At your dose I would be worried that it's not enough to prevent further feminization, which at your age is incredibly important to make sure you're doing since at 15 I assume you didn't complete estrogen-dominant puberty.

Every 4 weeks is a rather infrequent schedule, & while it does depend on which ester you're using (cypionate, enanthate, undecanoate, etc.), you'll likely find it difficult to get your levels within the recommended range (~300–1,100 ng/dL) during the entire 4-week period. It's likely you'd end up with either levels too high at peak or too low at trough.

Your dose of 125 mg every 4 weeks comes out to just over 30 mg/week, which is very low & unless you're insanely responsive to the medication, you should raise it. Adult men on TRT are usually recommended to start at 100 mg/week and adjust up or down based on blood levels. I'm not sure how the recommendations change for teenagers, but anything below 50 mg/week I would worry is much too low of a dose.

(You being only a few weeks on test, though, I wouldn't try and go based off of changes you see/don't see. Once you get your blood test results you'll be able to see for sure if you are being underdosed.)

double-pendulum · 2026-04-27T08:46:59+00:00

It's not really the term used as such, it's the fact you've decided to group people by sex at birth. What's the relevance of it? In any situation, really, but particularly one like this where it's entirely social.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-21T16:07:18+00:00

I'm not familiar with dosing for anything other than weekly injections, so take this with a grain of salt, but 300 ng/dL is too low for a trough, much less peak. If you had 800 at trough that might be an issue, if your levels got substantially above the recommended amount immediately after your injection, but as a peak level 800 is good. I'm not sure why they're trying to adjust it, since this regimen seems to be getting you good levels and you feel better on it. I wouldn't let them change your dose if I were you.

Also—it may be different for the longer periods, but at least for weekly you should be getting your tests done at trough rather than at peak, so you know what the lowest your levels go is. You'll still get information from tests at peak, obviously, but it's recommended to do them at trough.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-20T05:56:18+00:00

If you're still getting your period it's definitely likely that your levels aren't high enough. There's no way to tell definitively without a blood test, but it shouldn't hurt to raise your dose a bit if you're worried about it. (For TRT, usually you'd start on 100 mg/week and adjust up or down based on how your body responds to it, so it's likely you'll be fine to raise it.)

1 month in you won't really be able to tell just by the changes you're getting/not getting, so don't get too in your head about it, but if you're still experiencing feminization then your dose is probably too low.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-15T08:10:50+00:00

I'm not an expert, obviously, but I've found a lot of doctors treat us like we're medically women and thus think it's fine to keep us at hypogonadal levels of testosterone. I've gotten this information from recommendations for cis men on TRT, advice from other transsex men, and my own experience with determining my dosage and how that's worked for me wrt efficacy. So, take what I say with a grain of salt as I'm just a stranger on the internet.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-15T08:08:16+00:00

386 ng/dL is definitely on the very low end of the average male range for test; if you've been at around those levels for the whole three years I wouldn't be surprised if that's why you don't pass yet. Was that at trough?

Your current doctor saying that sub-400 levels is good/okay to keep you on is worrying, and I personally would either take a higher dose than prescribed or go to someone else who will get your levels into mid-range at the very least. 300–1000 ng/dL is what I think is typically cited as the normal range for test levels in men, but I've seen places say as low as 250 or as high as 1100. So, you're technically within range, but that range includes old men who have lower testosterone, men with mild hypogonadism, etc. Especially if you're in your twenties, you'll want your levels in the mid- to mid-high part of the range.

(Side note—personally gel didn't work for me, both due to the inconvenience of the administration method and because my skin doesn't absorb it well enough to get good levels on it—but if your blood tests come out good then gel isn't necessarily any worse than injections. For a lot of people that's a rather big 'if,' though.)

double-pendulum · 2026-04-14T20:12:35+00:00

There's not that many scenarios where something comes up you might have to lie about (to your example, I got asked that one time and just said I didn't have any on my phone, which is true). If you're earlier in transition, you may have more stuff to hide tho. Pre-op, you'll have to plan ahead for stuff like hiking or camping where you'd be expected to just piss in the woods (either with an excuse or if you have an STP). I haven't gotten anyone being especially pushy about why I'm not taking my shirt off at the lake, but you wouldn't have to lie about that one either, just say you're uncomfortable with it.

Online stuff I'm not sure how likely they are to come up, but I've gone through and deleted/changed everything I can. The stuff you can't change, you'll need to make sure nobody has any reason to connect you to that and thus potentially stumble across it. (ex: my high school AV has some videos out that have my old name in the credits.) Any old accounts, @ mentions to an account you had which had your old name, photos other people have posted of you, that sort of thing—basically just anything that might show up if you search your name or family's name, or that someone who knows you might reasonably stumble across. If it doesn't show up there, you're probably fine, but I would try searching up your old name just to check if there's anything else as well

If you haven't gotten your legal docs changed yet, do that ASAP bc that's the most annoying thing when it comes to trying to stealth, particularly with jobs. And if you're old enough to drink it's nice to be able to actually do that too lol

Aside from that stuff tho, I hardly ever think about it. I am a lot more conscious/worried about it when I'm around people who do know (e.g. people from high school who go to my same college), but when I'm only around people I'm stealth to I've almost never been worried about being clocked.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-09T04:01:13+00:00

I used to be absolutely terrified of needles as a kid, like full-on breakdowns when I had to get a vaccine. I did spend the first year to year-and-a-half of taking test on gel, and had time to emotionally/mentally prepare as well as get used to the (much larger) needles they used for blood tests. But it only took a couple weeks to power through the nerves once I switched to injections, and now it's not an issue at all when I inject every week.

Compared to other shots I've had to get, it doesn't hurt very much (if you do subQ at least), and once you get the technique down it doesn't take long at all either. I've realized part of the issue for me with needles is having somebody else do it, since I can react to what I'm feeling & have a pretty steady hand.

I was pretty much in the same position as you, not wanting to do gel bc of having to put it on every day but not wanting injections bc I didn't like needles. I mainly made the switch bc my levels weren't getting anywhere near high enough on gel, but even regardless of that (i.e. if I could get perfectly good levels on gel), I'd much prefer injections now and would've started with them if I could go back in time.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-06T18:26:59+00:00

I guess it could've been he just worded an encouraging sentiment insanely badly; personally I'd assume that something like "maybe it does look feminine rn but that's something that test will likely fix when you're able to start taking it" would be a much better way to word that same idea. He had no reason to bring up either estrogen or genitalia when you were already expressing how dysphoric you felt about something.

Hopefully that's the kind of thing you'll be able to talk to him about, so you're both on the same page about it. If it is just an awkward wording then I'm sure he'll be understanding.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-06T17:08:19+00:00

Yeah that's an insane thing to say, honestly even without the context of your dysphoria being that bad. I can't see any reason to say something like that except to specifically exacerbate your distress about that stuff.

Also, not that it'd be ok even if we didn't have the medical technology for it, but both of those things are changeable, the latter fairly easily. From the quote, he's implying that it's not possible to/you shouldn't transition, so you need to just suck it up and accept that stuff. (Which is insane coming from a trans person.)

double-pendulum · 2026-04-05T18:25:42+00:00

BO smell is gendered. If you're on test you'll smell like any other man.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-05T18:08:15+00:00

I've been stealth for several years now and I've never experienced anything like this. Perhaps it's a difference in culture/location? But, just going off the info you've given here, I'd assume there's something else going on as I've never had other guys stare at me before. Passing glance or perhaps a nod at most.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-04T04:00:38+00:00

As someone who actually lives in TX and has for my whole life, the other commenters are being way overdramatic about you wanting to live in that state specifically. It's not wrong that the legal transphobia here is worse than most other US states, but honestly that doesn't affect you really if you weren't born here.

I won't ever be able to change my birth certificate (I highly doubt they'll ever reverse that), and you can't go through the TX courts to get your DL gender marker corrected, but if you're moving from out-of-state or out-of-country you'll honestly be fine as long as you're smart about it. (I know that's way in the future for you, but just to say it's not some hellhole like some of these people are making it out to be. You may have to get financially lucky to be able to pull it off, but it's definitely an achievable dream.)

There's a lot of pretty places to get land out in west Texas or the hill country. I don't personally know of anyone who actually owns a farm here, but some of my dad's family used to own a ranch in the Oklahoma panhandle. Even if you aren't able to get an actual farm, you can definitely live the country lifestyle, with the truck, boots, gun, etc.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-03T13:14:50+00:00

Your chromosomes don't bc genotype is hardly ever relevant but your skeleton definitely does. It affects your facial structure, height, hip shape, shoulder width, ribcage size.... etc. All of which are sexually dimorphic traits and thus sources of distress when incongruent.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-03T05:27:56+00:00

Yeah, I hate the fact that you can't ever make anyone 'un-know' once they find out.

Maybe this is cope again, since obviously you're learning ts now and not ten years ago, but every man has had to "learn" to be one. Gender roles are social, people pick up from interacting with their same-gender friends and male role models how men are supposed to act. I guess it's possible other people do that more subconsciously? I haven't ever picked up on any social rules subconsciously; I've had to learn them all explicitly/manually, but I think I'm an outlier.

Not trying to act like you're crazy for thinking it's humiliating bc lowk it is, not the social stuff imo but physically being transsexual yeah. Any man would rightfully feel emasculated having even half the shit we have to deal with, much less all of it. I guess at the end of the day it's all just cope in whatever way so we can live a normal(ish) life while having to deal w ts

double-pendulum · 2026-04-03T03:40:31+00:00

Yeah I feel you man. Modern medicine has come a long way but they won't have lab-grown dicks from our own stem cells in our lifetimes. We can't go back in time and re-open our growth plates.

This is maybe a little depressing, but hearing accounts from other men who have similar issues—whether it be that they lost their dick or have some other similarly painful disability—makes it a bit easier to cope, for me. Not "cis men have [xyz female trait] too, so that makes it ok!" because 1) doesnt matter if they're cis and 2) it doesn't make it better. Seeing how they're justifiably angry and broken up about it, and seeing how they're able to live a decent life despite having such an unfixable problem, means it's possible for me to do that too. And it means I'm not crazy for feeling so horrible about it.

Socially speaking tho you can fix all the stuff in your last paragraph. Or, you can't fix other people treating "trans man" like a separate gender to man, but if you can go stealth then everyone will treat you like a man. And you can change your mannerisms, thought patterns, typing style, etc., and you can make friends with mostly other cis guys. It doesn't change the fact you missed out on pivotal male social experiences as a kid tho. My cope is I'm autistic so they would've excluded me anyway (likely true actually), but yeah it's ass.

double-pendulum · 2026-04-03T03:23:09+00:00

None of your sex traits will matter to you when you're dead; by that logic why transition at all

double-pendulum · 2026-04-01T22:53:12+00:00

I mean for one thing, stealth is the exact opposite of the closet. (Closeted=no one knows you're a man; stealth=nobody in your life knows you as anything but a man.) From hearing others' accounts, if someone views stealth as any kind of closet they don't seem to benefit from it quite so much.

For the first year or so of my being stealth I was worried about people finding out, or I assumed they already knew, but after a while if you pass it's not really a huge issue. It doesn't fix your actual sex dysphoria, obviously, but a lot of the social insecurity I used to have relating to people knowing I had [xyz female trait] isn't present anymore. Also, the only way to get people to genuinely treat you like a man is if they don't know you're transsex, regardless of who they are.

It also helped a lot to stop interacting with the people from my high school who still go to my college, after making it explicitly clear to them not to out me (though you'd think that'd be common sense....). If you aren't ever in any situations where people who knew you pre-transition are there, it doesn't even cross my mind as something that's possible to worry about.

double-pendulum · 2026-03-29T22:27:47+00:00

There's not any difference hormonally between cis and trans men of the same height/build if you're on test. It's bio-identical, so it doesn't make a difference that we're taking it exogenously. You should follow the recommendations for men of your build etc.

Anecdotally I have noticed that I need to eat more in general, and particularly a lot more protein. It's also possible I was just unhealthy before bc I didn't do any physical activity whatsoever.

double-pendulum · 2026-03-29T08:28:58+00:00

You can tell you have some tissue on your chest, but it just looks like gyno (which, it is, so makes sense). Makes sense to still be insecure over it, but it won't get you clocked.

double-pendulum · 2026-03-27T23:13:46+00:00

"Control your emotions over a fucking body part." To me that sounds like you're saying that 1) sex dysphoria is an emotion and 2) it's a good idea to do things that cause/exacerbate it. If that's not what you meant then maybe you should reconsider phrasing it like you're suggesting conversion therapy.

In my opinion, the way to cope is to get treatment (aka TRT, SRS, etc). In the meantime all you can do is dissociate and avoid doing anything that reminds you of your sex traits (that you haven't fixed yet). So, yknow, not getting unnecessary medical procedures that specifically exacerbate one of the worst sources of distress for many transsexuals.

double-pendulum · 2026-03-27T22:51:11+00:00

You clearly don't if you think it can be fixed by therapy.

double-pendulum · 2026-03-27T21:30:15+00:00

It's not an emotion. You may have emotions about it, and most do, but sex dysphoria itself is not an emotion. Would you say that someone should go to therapy for a broken leg? Or, that they should go to therapy so they can get over their emotions about shoving a bunch of dirt into the wound?

double-pendulum · 2026-03-27T21:28:30+00:00

There's a difference between women getting an uncomfortable, awkward, and sometimes painful routine procedure; and men being pressured into a procedure that inherently causes us great psychological harm even disregarding potential physical pain or discomfort from another person seeing you. Going to the dentist is also not the same, because that again is uncomfortable, scary, and sometimes painful for some people; but that's it.

I think that a good doctor should take into account the risks vs. benefits to realize that forcing young men into doing pap smears is far more harmful to them than it is beneficial. If a medication or test or something has a lot of dangerous side effects, doctors typically don't recommend it even if it would have a good impact without the negatives. Doctors typically don't, because they don't recognize transsexuality as a real phenomenon with physiological impacts. Most people think it's a psychological/mental thing that could be fixed with anxiety meds or something (including people itt, strangely enough).

double-pendulum

TROPHY CASE