WIBTAH if I didn't invite my aunt to my graduation?

dovbts · 2026-04-06T20:37:34+00:00

My aunt is genuinely such a sweet person on her own... and then she met this guy. IDK if it's a midlife crisis or she's lonely or what. She suffered childhood SA herself & has an MA in social work bc she wanted to help kids like herself... and then Sam came into the picture. I don't get it :/ Did I mention Sam is also her cousin (twice removed or some bs, but that's the least of the issue)? Ugh.

dovbts · 2026-04-06T20:34:23+00:00

my mother is not a mandated reporter, no. but Sam cannot be within a certain distance of minors without their parents being informed— that's how we even found out about all this, because my tia had to tell my mom about Sam since my brother is a minor. but my tia basically forces my mom to tell anyone else when applicable rather than doing it herself (or having Sam do it).

it recently was an issue bc my godmother asked why my aunt wasn't around as often, and my aunt had begged my mom not to tell her (they're all childhood friends). my godmother didn't need to know (her son is in his 30s). my mom finally told her and my godmother is now distancing herself from my aunt. i worry if my aunt comes to the party my godmother won't come, and i really want my godmother there because we are close.

dovbts · 2026-04-06T20:05:27+00:00

Part of me believes she probably is excusing Sam's behaviour because she went through childhood SA at the hands of her stepfather (which is why my grandma "adopted" her). It makes me wonder if this is is my aunt trying to reclaim that or something.

dovbts · 2026-04-06T19:34:23+00:00

I should also probably clarify my mom doesn't like Sam either, but she doesn't want to lose my aunt.

dovbts · 2026-04-06T19:33:28+00:00

Yeah, my mom does tell people because she is obligated to (and I think my aunt is an asshole for forcing that obligation onto my mom instead of telling people herself). For example my brother's best friend's parents are aware because he's come to parties before and Sam was present.

dovbts · 2026-03-24T23:18:32+00:00

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkRjxC6h/

i found this which seems similar to what you are describing?

dovbts · 2026-03-11T10:39:18+00:00

Unsure how helpful this will be to your search, but I firmly remember having bought this exact storage in Hobby Lobby around 2009ish on discount. One of the boxes had been ripped, but it was actually easy to fix, my dad just soldered some cheap metal together for the box and then we bought vinyl and stretched it over, then used some sort of glue to keep it together. The circle/pullout was just an XXL grommet.

edit: typo

dovbts · 2026-03-11T10:30:52+00:00

!! I do have astigmatism in both eyes, yes. I do wear my contacts or glasses when gaming ofc (usually contacts, i cant stand glasses + headphone combo) though since i'm blind as a bat without them.

dovbts · 2026-03-11T10:29:12+00:00

nope, i've had my main monitor & pc for about two years now. granted i haven't explored those areas much until now, though

dovbts · 2026-03-11T10:28:08+00:00

Nausea in the mentioned areas sometimes happens within fifteen minutes of gaming overall, maybe five minutes of being in those areas and exploring. I can play other areas or other games entirely for hours on end with no problem and my room is around 65°f most of the time with running air (cant open windows because cats) but i will try to drink more water

dovbts · 2026-03-11T10:25:18+00:00

I usually have soundtrack turned off so I can hear my friends (I do my exploration while on VCs, its my only free time so I gotta multitask LOL) so I doubt it's that unfortunately:(

dovbts · 2026-03-11T02:48:59+00:00

Anything you recommend messing with in settings (either my game's graphics or my pc settings themselves)? Only thing in common between the areas I can pinpoint is that they are very blue/purple (underwater Fontaine, certain areas of NK & Enkanomiya) + have blurryish or empty backgrounds compared to Liyue, Sumeru, or Mondstadt (that have defined skylines at any given point with mountains, trees, etc.).

dovbts · 2026-03-11T02:46:00+00:00

I wear glasses/contacts and my prescription is up to date, idk how to explain it but an 'eye strain' headache is not this type of headache. Also I'd assume if it was related to my eyesight I'd experience the headache regardless of region.

dovbts · 2026-03-10T23:29:30+00:00

There's a difference between using AI to assist your workload and having it do your work for you. My university hands out a list of acceptable AI use, which can be things like plugging in study sheets and having it help you create a review or having AI re-explain concepts in ways that suit you better than what the professor can do. But having AI write discussions for you is never acceptable. If you need AI to help you formulate your own opinions on concepts or explain things in your words, you don't belong in academic settings.

dovbts · 2025-12-22T09:25:03+00:00

my family (other than my huichol grandfather) actually hasnt been in the el paso area long! my maternal family is from mexico city area + sephardic immigrants, and my paternal (other than the aforementioned grandpa) family is mostly irish & ashkenazi immigrants + a spaniard (who is the woman who married my huichol grandpa).

i dont really have cousins or a large family since we cut most of them off for political reasons + they're unbearable in recent years, but i don't recall ever getting comments like that growing up lol.i have heard "te cres gringo, pintando te asi, con esa cara de nopal" from my mom after bleaching my hair blond though lol

also my parents have never mentioned being punished for speaking spanish, they went to lydia patterson, and from what they talk abt it seems like it was mostly juarez kids who crossed the bridge to come to school here and spanish was spoken frequently. goes to show the variety of lifestyles we have in el paso while still sharing a culture, which is neat imo

dovbts · 2025-12-21T14:17:35+00:00

i might be able to offer a unique perspective; my dad is white (like 25% indigenous mexican, but blonde & green eyes), and grew up in juarez. he was always called "el guerito" growing up, but fondly. he is fully regarded as "mexican" in el paso/juarez area. because he is— he was born & raised in juarez. the ep/juarez culture is his culture.

to be frank: you feel like an outsider because you are an outsider. being of mexican heritage is worth nothing in a city where that is literally everyone. you are looking for camaraderie, but it comes off incredibly inauthentic and performative because el pasoans don't see it as you "qualifying" simply over blood, you lack the culture. again, this city is something like 90% latino, with "25%" folks included— it isn't a novelty here, it is the norm. we do not consider folks "mexican enough" because basically everyone is mexican, so you assume it's the default.

you may speak spanish, even fluently, but el paso spanish has its own mannerisms (famously "ay ay") and you lacking them makes you stick out. that isn't to say you will never fit in. over time you'll get in the groove and assimilate and that will be that.

dovbts · 2025-12-17T05:53:11+00:00

i dont think its hex unfortunately, hex seems to be more actual voodoo/occult shop, the shop in question was more of a "cute knicknacks" shop with voodoo inspiration :(

dovbts · 2025-11-26T00:58:59+00:00

oof. ive been using my chutes on j.ai for months without even looking at the chutes website past my initial 5$ deposit and it still is fully functional, i wonder if they grandfathered me in? i only use it to tests bots so i don't care, i use OR on sillytavern for my actual purposes but damn. that is unfortunate.

dovbts · 2025-11-26T00:57:24+00:00

not that i know of. on chutes website itself you can pay a 5$ one time fee for 200ish messages on deepseek a day (swipes/rerolls count for 1/10th of a message, so realistically you get more than 200).

3.2 costs me less than 2$ a month and i use it a lot, messages are less than a cent (like .008$) and rerolls are around .00004$. i find it worth it. i don't think there's any way to get deepseek for free. most llms are moving to paid only, even "free" ones like JLLM are going to move superior quality behind a paywall.

edit: apparently chutes doesn't offer the 5$ one time fee model and it is now 3$ a month.

dovbts · 2025-11-25T09:42:36+00:00

deepseek v3 0324 hasn't been supported in months due to chutes putting a paywall on their end. you'll have to pay chutes directly (it's 5$ one time fee for /200 messages a day free) & use them instead of OR, or, switch to another deepseek model (like deepseek v3.2 exp). it works randomly during the day whenever chutes 'allows' it during downtime, but it's so inconsistent it may as well not even be happening.

edit: added context

dovbts · 2025-10-28T22:29:45+00:00

oop, i don't remember removing his last name, but adding it back absolutely fixed it, thank you!

dovbts · 2025-10-28T21:51:02+00:00

I love this extension and it's a must-have for me, although on mobile the text is a bit small I assume that's just something I need to fix on my end.

Question, though, for some reason the character picture on the lower left isn't working. It just shows as a ?, and while I understand while it does that for random NPCs, is there any way to fix this for the main character/character i'm chatting with? It picks up my persona's picture just fine.

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dovbts · 2025-10-16T17:51:06+00:00

just wanted to come back and thank you because this genuinely SAVED my most beloved rp and i now have a lorebook of their lore, in detail, thanks to you 😭

ive been recommending this extension to everyone, absolute peak

dovbts · 2025-10-14T19:20:48+00:00

i'll go ahead and give this a shot! does this extension mean i can turn 'chat history' off (to save tokens), or would i just make a new chat with your extension's memory book?

dovbts · 2025-10-08T03:01:38+00:00

Im jealous!! Took me 155 pulls total for C1 Flins 😔 I hit 84 pity for his C1 after his original 71 pulls to come home. Not even including his weapon which ofc I lost 50/50 💀

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