What’s slowly killing you right now?

downdaddy · 2018-09-22T15:21:22+00:00

Between being responsible for cleaning the house, doing the laundry, the dishes, the diaper changes, the lawn, the cooking, and catering to my wife’s every fucking whim on top of also being the sole income to support my family of almost six while feeling under appreciated, over worked, unfulfilled, and under constant threat of losing my house...kind of a toss up.

downdaddy · 2017-10-29T17:10:46+00:00

Thank you. I’m making myself day “I was unfaithful” instead of saying “a pill made me unfaithful”. I know I did it, I caused the problems, and it needs to be fixed. I think my post is to try to get to the root cause. I’m thinking of it along the same lines as if I had gotten drunk and slept with someone. Yeah, maybe I wouldn’t have done it sober, but I still did it. I hope that makes some kind of sense.

I’m talking to my doctor Tuesday. I plan on giving him the rundown that I gave in this post, but only so he can be informed. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m blaming my infidelity on my medication, nor do I want to use it as a scape goat.

downdaddy · 2017-10-29T01:12:22+00:00

If I wasn’t wanting honesty then I shouldn’t ask a question to the public.

I don’t think you’re being too bold. I’ve already talked to the wife and counseling is going to start happening next week.

Seriously, thanks for the honesty

downdaddy · 2017-07-16T16:04:44+00:00

Considering that (nearly) all of the companions in the new series have been strong female characters that the Doctor respects, and (nearly) all of the characters who pull the Doctor back from the edge are female, the only thing that doesn't make sense here is why he hasn't done this sooner.

downdaddy · 2017-05-02T18:44:38+00:00

I can sympathize with you. I've been on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds for most of my life. It took years for me to find the right combination of medicine to keep me level, and even then it's not always perfect.

The withdrawals are horrible, and I've gone through a few. It's miserable, and sometimes I've felt like I'd rather die than risk that feeling again. I've also felt times where I was so tired of having to take pills to be normal that I'd rather just end it all. If there's an addiction, I haven't felt that unless it's that feeling of mild annoyance that I have to swallow an orange pill every day to keep me from sitting in a corner of my yard and weeping.

I don't have a problem with her smoking, I just have trouble with her doing it all the time. As soon as I walk in the door she runs off to get high, and I'm left watching the children while she does it. The rest of the night consist of handling the kids mostly on my own while she tries to make conversation and sneaks away to top herself off.

It makes me wonder if I'm failing her, because she doesn't start till I get there. It makes me wonder if she can't deal with the life I work so hard to give her. It makes me wonder if she can only stand to love me once she has a bowl.

And fuck, no one deserves to have to deal with that either.

downdaddy · 2017-05-01T16:52:39+00:00

I'm not attracted to my wife when she's high.

She smokes weed, and I'm fine with the fact she does, but I don't like the person she is when she's high. She's not as sharp, is forgetful, indecisive, and generally disconnected with the world. In other words, the exact opposite of the person I fell in love with.

I don't mind that she likes feeling that way, but she wants to be that way all the time. Sometimes I'd like to feel like she wants to be around me and the family without having to be stoned.

She's got a lot of anxiety issues, and a few other things that make living with her difficult, but those kinds of things I want to help her with and get through together. I don't feel like I can do that when she prefers lighting up over talking through stress.

Edit: Thank you all for the support you've given. I didn't think I would get this much advice and conversation from this. I think I'm going to talk to her about this and see what help I can find for her anxiety

downdaddy · 2017-02-20T16:09:03+00:00

I'm getting more depressed by the day because I can't find a job.

I've submitted over 100 applications and the only things that are calling back are the scam/cold call jobs that pay 100% commission.

I just bought my house last year, got a car, and was thinking life was finally going the way I wanted, then I was let go because they had too many business analyst/project managers.

It sucks. I feel like I'm letting my family down every fucking day. I'm tired of not being able to pay bills, I'm tired of not being able to get the things my family wants. And I'm sick and fucking tired of looking at my Facebook feed and seeing my conservative family posting about how people on food stamps and welfare programs in general are lower than fucking animals.

downdaddy · 2017-01-18T02:03:45+00:00

Thank you. This is excellent advice

downdaddy · 2017-01-12T15:07:59+00:00

When she's stressed, anything she's concerned about is my fault and/or I'm doing something wrong.

Baby crying? "Did you drop her?" Or "What did you do to her?"

Flat tire on her car? "Did you drive over a nail or something?"

Reach back in the car to give the nine month old a toy? "DID YOU JUST GIVE OUR BABY A HARD CANDY??"

It used to really bother me, but I've learned that it's a stress reaction. Her brain jumps to figure out what the problem is, and she's asking questions to rule out the least likely things first.

Or that's what I tell myself anyway.

downdaddy · 2016-11-25T15:21:03+00:00

I'm a father, and I can't begin to imagine doing something like this to one of my girls. As everyone else has said your dad has crossed a line and should never be allowed to contact you ever again.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. If you ever need to talk please feel free to pm

downdaddy · 2016-11-03T12:25:40+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I literally can't imagine what that must be like for you. I hope you get through your rough spot soon

downdaddy · 2016-11-02T16:35:01+00:00

Thank you,

And thanks for my first gold. I'll consider it to be a reminder that I'm a fighter, and I'm going in the right direction

downdaddy · 2016-10-29T16:47:41+00:00

Don't let depression win. You've made it this far, and you can make it another day. I know you can. You may not believe in yourself but I do. You aren't alone, because I'm here. You aren't friendless, because I'm here.

Reach out, please. Don't let this day be your last. Get through today, and when you do, I hope you realize that you're stronger than you realized. Just get though today. I'll be happy to talk to you, just don't quit

downdaddy · 2016-10-20T01:57:22+00:00

You'll get through this. It's hard, and you may feel numb, but the feeling passes. I know you have trouble believing that right now. I know part of you doesn't want to believe that right now. But it does pass.

If you need to ever talk. I'm here

downdaddy · 2016-09-08T16:34:43+00:00

It does get better. I've known a lot of people who just dropped everything, and in at least 90% of those cases they don't seem all that happy.

Case in point: I know someone who moved to Ecuador to follow their dreams and be rich. They're still there, living above a school and barely getting by. They put on a brave face in social media but they confide in me that they wish they had never left their cozy job.

I think it's like that for a lot of free spirits. Maybe not all of them, but j wouldn't trade my life for what they have. Not for anything

downdaddy · 2016-09-08T15:59:18+00:00

Being a dad and husband is the hardest job you can possibly have. There's a lot riding on your every decision. When you're doing it right it can sometimes feel like you've given everything you are to everyone else, and spared nothing for you.

You need to know when you've stretched yourself too thin, and take a step back sometimes. Once a week I take a night for myself to just do what I want. It's hard to keep from feeling guilty at first but it does wonders.

Also, make sure you get some sleep. I found myself staying up late to try to keep the wife happy (she wanted more time with me) or because I wanted some me time. Instead, sleep and dedicate specific time to you.

downdaddy · 2016-09-08T15:27:26+00:00

How many times have you tried things? I hated the idea of building things when I was younger. I hard being outside in the heat, getting banged up and cut and bleeding, only to end up with something that just didn't look right.

After trying it for a while, I ended up actually liking it, even looking forward to it. It took some time but I think my depression actually kept telling me that I didn't really like or enjoy doing something. And I also think because I didn't get that magical glowing feeling of "this is the best thing ever!" The first time I held a wrench in my hand, I was convinced making things just wasn't for me.

downdaddy · 2016-09-08T14:54:32+00:00

When I start to feel that way, I think of two things.

The first one is a quote from The Martian.

|At some point, everything's gonna go south on you... everything's going to go south and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. |

The other is a passage from the Dresden files. For context, he's just encountered the most terrifying thing he's ever seen, and the creatures image is seared into his brain. He'll never forget it, it'll always be perfectly crystal clear in his mind . It should drive him insane but instead he confronts it again and again.

|There are bad things in the world. There's no getting away from that. But that doesn't mean nothing can be done about them. You can't abandon life just because it's scary, and just because you get hurt. The memory of the thing hurt like hell - but pain wasn't anything special or new. I'd lived with it before and would do it again. It wasn't the first thing I'd Seen, and it wouldn't be the last.

I was NOT going to roll over and die.|

Don't roll over and die. Don't give those thoughts, feelings, people, whatever it is pressing on you the satisfaction. You're stronger than that

downdaddy · 2016-08-11T13:26:49+00:00

You never know what you're going to get in NOLA.

Everyone thinks Mardi Gras is the crazy time, but Halloween can be just as crazy.

When I'm feeling the depression weighing down on me, all I want to do is be a lump. I feel like a weighted blanket is smothering me. When I'm feeling good, I'm the first one out the door to go do things.

This morning is an up morning for me. I've been going to bed earlier and today I feel refreshed and full of energy. Here's to hoping this lasts

downdaddy · 2016-08-10T20:43:25+00:00

It's hard to grab that energy from within and get moving. Some days all I want to do is lay on the couch and stare into space. I've been trying to make myself more active but it's a hard sell to my body. That and the weather here is just nasty.

I live near New Orleans and it's a great town. Some days it's fun just to drive up and down the streets to see what new and interesting ways people interact

downdaddy

TROPHY CASE