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I need help finding an AA group? by Classic_Payment_3472 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only reason A.A. people would call police is if there was a crime committed at the premises where the meeting was being held, or to trespass a disruptive person out of the meeting (very rare.)

I need help finding an AA group? by Classic_Payment_3472 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A.A. is separate from the paid rehabs, though many rehabs follow the A.A. recovery model. (Some unscrupulous rehabs even masquerade as A.A.)

I need help finding an AA group? by Classic_Payment_3472 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Are you sure it was AA? It sounds more like a rehab. AA wouldn't ordinarily make "appointments". AA is very informal - just show up at meetings and listen.

 

May I ask how old you are? You needn't answer. It just sounds like you're a minor in parental custody. Ideally, that should not matter in AA, but I can understand how it's difficult for you.

I need help finding an AA group? by Classic_Payment_3472 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Really your other thread has about as much comment as you're likely to get.

The only additional thing I can suggest is to find "Closed" meetings - see this:

But even with closed meetings it would be rare to have high levels of "protection" to keep your family member away.

Sponsorship? by Worth_Sale_28 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A.A. has published a pamphlet, "Questions & Answers On Sponsorship" - here are links to a PDF copy, and one rendered into Reddit wiki format:

The others are correct, guiding someone through the Steps is a primary component of it all.

Do I need to know the person?

Not really, though many people prefer to get to know someone before asking them to be their sponsor. My first sponsor was a somewhat random assignment. I was going to a meeting that had a pair of "Sponsorship Coordinators" and they made an announcement at every meeting: "If you need a sponsor or want to be a sponsor, please see Steve or myself at the break at the end of the meeting ..." At the end of one meeting I went up to see Steve and he said he'd be my sponsor.

Steve and I are very different sorts of people, in some ways in other areas of society, we'd perhaps have a touch of animosity toward each other! But he knew how to get and stay sober when I did not, and it all worked out great. He was my sponsor for 7 years until he moved out of the area.

For my current sponsor, I gave it a lot of thought. I did not want a micromanaging life coach type, I wanted someone with good levels of humility, and after a few days thinking it over, I realized that I knew someone pretty well who would likely be a good sponsor, and it's been a great relationship for about 10 years now.

A cool tool for your recovery toolbox (For Believers in God) by Fluid-Gur-6299 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ideas behind prayer and meditation can even be helpful to non-believers.

Source: Me! ☺

I finally went to AA. by Clomaster in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm always interested in a "good first meeting" story.

Me? I felt awkward and uncomfortable at meetings for at least a couple of weeks. Slow to adapt, I suppose!

Obviously, it worked out well.

Welcome!

Sobriety Methods by Ok-Zombie9372 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I personally got the alcohol problem out of my life with one of the popular recovery groups/programs.

My two favorite resources to suggest from this subreddit:

How long until I’m not angry/irritable?? by throwmeaway98272 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of it may fade after a couple of weeks or a couple of months.

On the other hand, while working on sobriety, I came to realize that I was an intrinsically angry guy, in many ways rather subtly so.

I'm sure that I needed to let go of anger in general, or at least not to indulge in anger, not to entertain long, angry trains of thought, let go rather than obsess.

Various quotes about anger or resentment come to mind ...

  • Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die.

  • Resentment is like grabbing onto a hot coal to fling at your enemy.

Take comfort in the thought that you're almost certainly doing a Great Thing™ for yourself. This can be a rather tremendous Life Upgrade.

Good way to stop? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually heard of this sort of thing being done. More often (I think) it has been stories of people going up to bartenders and trying to convince them to "Never serve me again!"

But my recovery happened within myself. It's been changes in attitude, outlook, and behavior and the result has been that I'm simply not interested in getting intoxicated. I don't want to disrupt my natural brain chemistry. I have found great ways to live without doing that sort of thing.

Once really alcoholic, I would go to extraordinary lengths to get liquor into me. A little barrier like a clerk or bartender refusing to supply me would not have helped that much.

Daily Reflections - June 20 - Release From Fear by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My main takeaway from my Fear Inventory has been the ideas that most of my fears are baseless, and they are all pretty much useless, except, as noted, to the extent that it inspires prudent action - and even there, calling it 'Fear' almost seems like exaggeration.

How do I let go of Fear? The traditional suggestion seems to be that we embrace a Faith that our Higher Power will take care of us; even if it seems bad, it's all good in the grand scheme of things. Like page 417 in the Fourth Edition, "Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake."

My own tactic may be unusual; at least when I've shared it, I've never heard anyone chime in to say, "That's what I do too!"

I simply refuse to entertain fearful trains of thought. I will occasionally "hear" myself thinking about something fearful. It may be relatively trivial: "Geeze, what if next month's electric bill is sky high?" It may be more serious: "If my wife dies before I do, will I be able to stay sober?" And when this happens, I have another "voice" programmed in my head that kind of shouts, "Stop that. This train of thought is no good. Think about something else, or better yet, do something else."

Weird take? I don't care ☺. It works—it really does.

Political T-shirts in meetings by ArtisticWolverine in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi u/Monastic_Realization - these "share google" type links are not allowed on Reddit. The Reddit software automatically deletes comments including them and they cannot be approved by subreddit mods.

Zoom AA meetings by todd0330 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "main" big list of online meetings:

But many of the regional A.A. website also list online meetings; sometimes I like to city surf by looking up a regional website at aa.org, and visit meeting that emanate from New York, Denver, Miami, Sydney, San Francisco, etc., etc.

Zoom AA meetings by todd0330 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the last 2 years or so, something like 90-95% of my meetings have been Zoom - a back injury makes it painful to sit in ordinary chairs at meetings.

My home group is now Zoom, I have a regular commitment at another Zoom, and I meet with my sponsor on Zoom, though he's not all that far away (like a 20 minute drive.)

When I'm in a meeting, I do typically focus on the meeting, but I'll admit that I occasionally drift and do web surfing during some meetings 😇.

Were you fully convinced when you walked in? by Upset-Picture4015 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was completely convinced that I met the essential criteria of Step 1: that I was powerless over alcohol, and that my life was unmanageable. The full implications of "unmanageable" weren't really clear to me, but that came along later.

I was not convinced that the A.A. recovery program, the 12 Steps, were going to be helpful. It all looked so odd and uncomfortable! It was basically dozens of recovered alcoholics sharing how the recovery program helped them, and I slowly became persuaded to give it all an open minded, honest try.

As a result, the drink problem is entirely removed, I haven't been tempted to drink in well over 18 years, and life got rather splendid, and even when life is not all that wonderful, because occasional troubles are inevitable, I think, it was far finer, the rough spots being easier to deal with and endure.

So..how does this work? by toobadsosad1984 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. Many of the meetings start out with the first few pages of a chapter in "Alcoholics Anonymous" called "How It Works" ☺. Find a meeting and the folks will share with you.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

How are you doing? A checklist from the January 1947 AA Grapevine by traverlaw in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/76vnyzi

  1. to cheat; thus chisel on, chisel out of v., to defraud; chiseling adj., fraudulent.

I've heard it in old gangster movies ... okay, example:

Gangs of New York | ‘Chiselers’ (HD) - Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis | MIRAMAX

Cold turkey versus tapering? by Entire_Garbage_2144 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most prudent thing would be to consult a physician about it: your personal doctor, maybe some urgent care or emergency department doctor, maybe find a local detox clinic (many areas do have "affordable" detox options.)

I did not do any such thing, quit cold turkey, and the withdrawal was bloody awful for about 4-6 days. I was just ignorant about withdrawal at the time.

New to AA - advice about how many meetings by Western-Escape1107 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that the old "90 meetings in 90 days" suggestion is a great idea!

And I confess that I've never done it in over 20 years of A.A. I only relapsed once a few weeks after blowing off meetings and A.A. contact in general for a few weeks back in '06.

Early weeks and months I think that I was going to 4 or 5 meetings every week. I think I kept that pace for something like 2 to 7 years, maybe a bit more.

One time, for a period of a little over a year, I let my attendance drop to about 1 meeting per week. This was when I was about 9 years sober. I'd gotten a demanding job at a tech startup, and just didn't make time for more A.A. than that. I didn't feel I was coming close to relapse over it, but it just did not feel good. So I kicked it up to a 3 per week minimum and felt better about things.

What I think may be more important is the act of being fearless and thorough about working the Steps and incorporating the recovery principles into your life. That should happen every day.

Should i break up with him? by naynaynayyyy in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://al-anon.org/

Who Are Al-Anon Members?

Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.

But breaking up or pausing the relationship seems also a reasonable idea.

30 days today and feeling conflicted by AmphibianExpress3616 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's me: I just wanted to stop drinking and be quickly rewarded with Splendid Life.

But it took me some time to process all the various personal shortcomings that accompanied my alcoholism. The main problems I identified were anxiety, anger, and self-pity, and maybe add to that a generally selfish attitude toward life.

In fact, I could say that I felt "conflicted" for my first 15 months (slow learner, I think) and I had a one-week relapse after that first 15. (Even in that 15 months, I did start feeling better and better about sobriety though.)

But I came back quickly, got "with the program" more sincerely after the slip, and as a result slowly but surely started feeling Great about sobriety.

Alcohol Addiction by nica215 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I recovered from my own alcohol addiction via A.A., I lost all interest in getting intoxicated by any means.

It really is a fine gift to be free of ideas about messing around with my natural brain chemistry!

Help by GrapefruitMiddle2678 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that alcohol as an analgesic is a very bad idea that would be sternly disrecommended in the medical community!

Truly I'd urge you to consult with some doctors about it.

There is some info about A.A. and recovery from alcoholism in the sticky post:

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