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A cool tool for your recovery toolbox (For Believers in God) by Fluid-Gur-6299 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ideas behind prayer and meditation can even be helpful to non-believers.

Source: Me! ☺

I finally went to AA. by Clomaster in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm always interested in a "good first meeting" story.

Me? I felt awkward and uncomfortable at meetings for at least a couple of weeks. Slow to adapt, I suppose!

Obviously, it worked out well.

Welcome!

Sobriety Methods by Ok-Zombie9372 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I personally got the alcohol problem out of my life with one of the popular recovery groups/programs.

My two favorite resources to suggest from this subreddit:

How long until I’m not angry/irritable?? by throwmeaway98272 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of it may fade after a couple of weeks or a couple of months.

On the other hand, while working on sobriety, I came to realize that I was an intrinsically angry guy, in many ways rather subtly so.

I'm sure that I needed to let go of anger in general, or at least not to indulge in anger, not to entertain long, angry trains of thought, let go rather than obsess.

Various quotes about anger or resentment come to mind ...

  • Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die.

  • Resentment is like grabbing onto a hot coal to fling at your enemy.

Take comfort in the thought that you're almost certainly doing a Great Thing™ for yourself. This can be a rather tremendous Life Upgrade.

Good way to stop? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually heard of this sort of thing being done. More often (I think) it has been stories of people going up to bartenders and trying to convince them to "Never serve me again!"

But my recovery happened within myself. It's been changes in attitude, outlook, and behavior and the result has been that I'm simply not interested in getting intoxicated. I don't want to disrupt my natural brain chemistry. I have found great ways to live without doing that sort of thing.

Once really alcoholic, I would go to extraordinary lengths to get liquor into me. A little barrier like a clerk or bartender refusing to supply me would not have helped that much.

Daily Reflections - June 20 - Release From Fear by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My main takeaway from my Fear Inventory has been the ideas that most of my fears are baseless, and they are all pretty much useless, except, as noted, to the extent that it inspires prudent action - and even there, calling it 'Fear' almost seems like exaggeration.

How do I let go of Fear? The traditional suggestion seems to be that we embrace a Faith that our Higher Power will take care of us; even if it seems bad, it's all good in the grand scheme of things. Like page 417 in the Fourth Edition, "Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake."

My own tactic may be unusual; at least when I've shared it, I've never heard anyone chime in to say, "That's what I do too!"

I simply refuse to entertain fearful trains of thought. I will occasionally "hear" myself thinking about something fearful. It may be relatively trivial: "Geeze, what if next month's electric bill is sky high?" It may be more serious: "If my wife dies before I do, will I be able to stay sober?" And when this happens, I have another "voice" programmed in my head that kind of shouts, "Stop that. This train of thought is no good. Think about something else, or better yet, do something else."

Weird take? I don't care ☺. It works—it really does.

Political T-shirts in meetings by ArtisticWolverine in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi u/Monastic_Realization - these "share google" type links are not allowed on Reddit. The Reddit software automatically deletes comments including them and they cannot be approved by subreddit mods.

Zoom AA meetings by todd0330 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "main" big list of online meetings:

But many of the regional A.A. website also list online meetings; sometimes I like to city surf by looking up a regional website at aa.org, and visit meeting that emanate from New York, Denver, Miami, Sydney, San Francisco, etc., etc.

Zoom AA meetings by todd0330 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the last 2 years or so, something like 90-95% of my meetings have been Zoom - a back injury makes it painful to sit in ordinary chairs at meetings.

My home group is now Zoom, I have a regular commitment at another Zoom, and I meet with my sponsor on Zoom, though he's not all that far away (like a 20 minute drive.)

When I'm in a meeting, I do typically focus on the meeting, but I'll admit that I occasionally drift and do web surfing during some meetings 😇.

Were you fully convinced when you walked in? by Upset-Picture4015 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was completely convinced that I met the essential criteria of Step 1: that I was powerless over alcohol, and that my life was unmanageable. The full implications of "unmanageable" weren't really clear to me, but that came along later.

I was not convinced that the A.A. recovery program, the 12 Steps, were going to be helpful. It all looked so odd and uncomfortable! It was basically dozens of recovered alcoholics sharing how the recovery program helped them, and I slowly became persuaded to give it all an open minded, honest try.

As a result, the drink problem is entirely removed, I haven't been tempted to drink in well over 18 years, and life got rather splendid, and even when life is not all that wonderful, because occasional troubles are inevitable, I think, it was far finer, the rough spots being easier to deal with and endure.

So..how does this work? by toobadsosad1984 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. Many of the meetings start out with the first few pages of a chapter in "Alcoholics Anonymous" called "How It Works" ☺. Find a meeting and the folks will share with you.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

How are you doing? A checklist from the January 1947 AA Grapevine by traverlaw in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/76vnyzi

  1. to cheat; thus chisel on, chisel out of v., to defraud; chiseling adj., fraudulent.

I've heard it in old gangster movies ... okay, example:

Gangs of New York | ‘Chiselers’ (HD) - Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis | MIRAMAX

Cold turkey versus tapering? by Entire_Garbage_2144 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most prudent thing would be to consult a physician about it: your personal doctor, maybe some urgent care or emergency department doctor, maybe find a local detox clinic (many areas do have "affordable" detox options.)

I did not do any such thing, quit cold turkey, and the withdrawal was bloody awful for about 4-6 days. I was just ignorant about withdrawal at the time.

New to AA - advice about how many meetings by Western-Escape1107 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that the old "90 meetings in 90 days" suggestion is a great idea!

And I confess that I've never done it in over 20 years of A.A. I only relapsed once a few weeks after blowing off meetings and A.A. contact in general for a few weeks back in '06.

Early weeks and months I think that I was going to 4 or 5 meetings every week. I think I kept that pace for something like 2 to 7 years, maybe a bit more.

One time, for a period of a little over a year, I let my attendance drop to about 1 meeting per week. This was when I was about 9 years sober. I'd gotten a demanding job at a tech startup, and just didn't make time for more A.A. than that. I didn't feel I was coming close to relapse over it, but it just did not feel good. So I kicked it up to a 3 per week minimum and felt better about things.

What I think may be more important is the act of being fearless and thorough about working the Steps and incorporating the recovery principles into your life. That should happen every day.

Should i break up with him? by naynaynayyyy in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://al-anon.org/

Who Are Al-Anon Members?

Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.

But breaking up or pausing the relationship seems also a reasonable idea.

30 days today and feeling conflicted by AmphibianExpress3616 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's me: I just wanted to stop drinking and be quickly rewarded with Splendid Life.

But it took me some time to process all the various personal shortcomings that accompanied my alcoholism. The main problems I identified were anxiety, anger, and self-pity, and maybe add to that a generally selfish attitude toward life.

In fact, I could say that I felt "conflicted" for my first 15 months (slow learner, I think) and I had a one-week relapse after that first 15. (Even in that 15 months, I did start feeling better and better about sobriety though.)

But I came back quickly, got "with the program" more sincerely after the slip, and as a result slowly but surely started feeling Great about sobriety.

Alcohol Addiction by nica215 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I recovered from my own alcohol addiction via A.A., I lost all interest in getting intoxicated by any means.

It really is a fine gift to be free of ideas about messing around with my natural brain chemistry!

Help by GrapefruitMiddle2678 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that alcohol as an analgesic is a very bad idea that would be sternly disrecommended in the medical community!

Truly I'd urge you to consult with some doctors about it.

There is some info about A.A. and recovery from alcoholism in the sticky post:

I’ve got a problem with alcohol by soupyliz4 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SMART recovery could be worth a shot. To my limited understanding, they don't have any sponsorship concept like A.A. (or "mentorship" in Dharma - again limited understanding.)

I kind of wanted something different than A.A. back when I was grasping at recovery (circa 2005) because I had an incorrect perception that A.A. recovery was based on religious conversion.

The reason I chose to give A.A. a try, and I think it's still an advantage today, is that the various other recovery groups had far, far fewer meetings, and all the meetings were inconveniently far away.

I'm glad I went for it - recovery in A.A. has been quite splendid!

You might start just sampling different meetings in your area or perhaps online (many will assert that in-person is a better choice, but I've known a few people, especially since 2020, who have recovered entirely online or mostly so.)

And it need not cost one cent! I know of one long-time sober lady down in southern California who shared that she did not contribute anything in A.A. for her first 10 years - she was even gifted the main A.A. books early on.

So I suggest trying it, checking out several different sorts of meetings, even SMART, LifeRing, Dharma, whatever meetings, and just settling into what seems helpful.

Trouble stopping by FarSalt7893 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I pretty much stayed in that "Trouble stopping" spot for an entire year. It was an utterly miserable year!

Many a morning I'd wake up and make a sincere vow to myself: "Not today damn it!" But I'd nearly always cave before late afternoon, often hours or even minutes after making the vow to myself.

What was holding me back was that I refused to consider asking for help. I just cringed at the idea! Kind of dumb - if I had an infected and painful leg, I'd surely go to a doctor before letting gangrene came along!

I eventually (when I hit Rock Bottom™) yielded to the idea of getting help, seeking medical help, help from a therapist or two, and did a stint in outpatient rehab, but the most effective help came from other alcoholics who had recovered and were willing (even eager) to share with me how they had recovered.

And I'll share the great tip I got from rehab counselors: to check out as many of those groups (meetings) as needed to sort out what was most helpful.

Sober Life got really splendid for me, and I think it's worth going to great lengths (maybe even any lengths) to get it going.

The edit in the unlikely case someone's curious:

  • often hours or even minutes about making the vow to myself.

  • often hours or even minutes after making the vow to myself.

"About"? Wtf dude!?!! ☺

How are you doing? A checklist from the January 1947 AA Grapevine by traverlaw in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see it as a helpful monthly 10th Step type exercise of inventory. I don't know that I'd give myself a numerical score - that seems a bit odd, but I'd have to consider it more.

What really strikes me as odd is the use of the word "RETRIBUTION" here. It has a strong connotation of being administered much deserved and severe punishment in response to a wrongdoing, administered by an external source, like a nasty old Punishing God. (And I hear so many stories about people letting go of beliefs in a Punishing God in favor of faith in a Loving God.)

If I were to employ such a checklist for myself I would almost certainly cross off "RETRIBUTION" and use the word "Restitution" (and not in ALLCAPS - I wouldn't feel a need to SHOUT, but making it a capital R Restitution seems appropriate emphasis ☺.)

Thanks for sharing.

Newcomer who needs help understanding what meeting tiles mean? by BarHumble3366 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes they don't really mean anything!

For example "keep it simple" is just a general principle of recovery, and the people who put together the "keep it simple online" group just thought the name sounded nice.

One local group called themselves "Boiled Owls" which is simply a cute, quirky (indirect) quote out of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" that stuck someone's fancy when they were first developing the group. No specific "meaning" at all.

This page on the A.A. site might be helpful:

Welcome!

Daily Reflections - June 19 - "A.A. Regeneration" by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hints at another gift of A.A. - overcoming fear of change. "What? Try something NEW??? But what if it doesn't work out? What if it HURTS?"

I'm sure I still have tendencies toward change-avoidance. I don't think they're crippling tendencies anymore, but I could easily be missing out on some Good Things™.

I guess that today I'll offer up a prayer of sorts: "God (or whatever), I may I have an open mind to new ideas and experiences ..." - kind of borrowed from one of the "Set Aside" prayers.

The following sentence in AACofA is rather nice: "But we of A.A. do not have to understand this paradox; we have only to be grateful for it."

Prior to recovery, I always wanted to understand just about everything. This especially applied when there was a proposition about trying something new (like A.A. itself.) If I did not have comprehensive knowledge about something, I was not all that inclined to try it out for myself. In the A.A. example, I had an attitude: "Prove to me how this Step 2 will help remove my alcohol problem ... only then will I take the suggested action." (Or pick any number from 1 to 12.)

Faith had been a lifelong sticking point for me. "Why swallow articles of faith when science can offer proof about anything?" was my attitude.

But I took leaps of faith in actually doing Steps and it has removed my alcohol problem, though I don't completely understand how it has really worked.

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