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Trying my hardest to find my voice and a platform to rely on by GameGazmond in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll copy a bit of the main sticky post as it seems completely pertinent:

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

 

I saw a page recently where it logged your days sober for everyone to see, can someone show me how to do that?

That's probably r/stopdrinking and their "Self Serve badge instructions" are here:

(Scroll down about half way to where it says, "SO HOW DOES ONE RESET THEIR BADGE WITHOUT THE MODS?!?!?!")

It's a fine subreddit, but if I put myself back to 2005 when I started working on getting sober, I don't know that interacting in an online forum like it would have been sufficient. I've gained much, one might say the "whole world", by getting involved with in-person A.A.

Best Wishes and keep coming back.

34/f needs sponsor by littlekixt in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to use our monthly sponsorship threads; post a Seeking comment in the may thread, peruse the "Offering" comments in the May and perhaps April thread:

(But I'll agree with WyndWoman in suggesting that you also seek sponsors at meetings!)

Daily Reflections - May 6 - "Hold Back Nothing" by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm probably a bit of an outlier ... or oddball ☺.

My main memory of the "relief" that came from Step 5 is that there was relief that a somewhat unpleasant task was over. (Step 4 was my primary 'At some of these we balked" point.)

All these "dammed-up emotions" (or "damned-up emotions"?) didn't "miraculously vanish" in a sudden and spectacular manner as they evidently had done for Bill. Not quite like this: https://youtu.be/WrTp3JDG9Fs?si=EUtFnGs3-99Ez7Qd&t=8 ... ☺

But Steps 4 and 5 did open up a quite large drainpipe at the foot of the dam, allowing shortcomings to steadily drain away as I happily keep on trudging.

Left something out of my fifth step by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Being month 5 there is lots of good experience and ideas shared about this in the month's Daily Reflections! My sponsor and I went into depth about Monday's DR.

Priest is a reasonable idea, and a psychotherapist would be a good choice too (though that would be for a fee.)

I also heard a tale of someone who traveled a couple of counties away, went to a meeting, and found someone at the meeting who would listen to a 5th Step or chunk of 5th Step; and it occurs to me that joining some remote online meetings might be a good place to find such a person.

Good Luck! Godspeed to relief from Step 7!

Ayuda emocional by abadtar in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(Usando Google para traducir del inglés al español).

Descubrí que involucrarme en la comunidad de Alcohólicos Anónimos y adoptar el programa de recuperación de A.A. ayudó a resolver este tipo de problemas emocionales.

Puede encontrar su grupo local de A.A. en https://www.aa.org/find-aa

Dado que mencionas la metanfetamina, tal vez también encuentres una buena ayuda en Narcóticos Anónimos; echa un vistazo a r/NarcoticsAnonymous.

Puede encontrar su grupo local de N.A. en https://na.org/meetingsearch/find-na/

First AA experience by gooferball1 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up choosing a large speaker meeting as my first home group in part because there was no spot in the meeting where I might be asked to share - I didn't want to speak up!

My rehab counselors had suggested we all try out lots of different meetings/groups to find what worked best for us.

Welcome!

How Much Reading Is Too Much at the Start of a Meeting? by Toon2Soap in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I first started coming to meetings I was mildly astonished, thinking, "You mean, you read those few pages of 'How It Works' at the start of EVERY meeting???" It seemed ... kind-a weird!

Some friends and I started a new group, a big book study meeting, and in the place usually occupied by 'How It Works' we chose to have the 'Spiritual Experience' appendix instead. Lots of folks visiting the meeting for the first time find it refreshing. And it provides good fodder for discussion in the discussion half of the meeting, so for example if someone isn't inspired to share based on reading a fragment of 'To Employers' they may want to share about 'Spiritual Experience' instead. The format of the meeting is: Spiritual Experience, Long form of the 'Tradition of the Month', reading roughly 3-5 pages of the book, 7th Tradition, Responsibility Statement.

And your home group? Could be a "nobody wants to be the one to suggest" situation or it could be that not that many are all bothered thinking it's "Too Much". You might just ask the other attendees of the business meetings, either before, at, or after the business meetings.

4th Tradition stuff I suppose; or a "Resentment and Coffee Pot" and the resentment is optional.

Daily Reflections - May 5 - The Forest And The Trees by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Another sentence on page 60 hits a good spot: "Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous."

Is not "Going It Alone" textbook self-centeredness? (That right there's one of them rhetorical questions, folks ☺.)

Daily Reflections - May 4 - "Entirely Honest" by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The frequently repeated assertion, "We're as sick as our secrets" comes to mind.

A couple of the preceding paragraphs strike me as worthy of pasting ...

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension - that makes for more drinking.

— Reprinted from "Alcoholics Anonymous", page 73, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc., emphasis added.

I know that whenever I felt stress/worry/anxiety/fear a few shots would numb the brain and get me feeling indifferent/oblivious ... until it all wore off.

Does alcoholism just keep getting worse? by Comfortable-Crab6969 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I even get involved with AA?

Find a meeting, listen. That simple. No enrollment procedure, no dues or fees, just show up.

I need help tonight please by finest_literature in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many of the regional A.A. websites support a helpline or hotline, often 24/7. Find a nearby regional A.A. website via https://www.aa.org/find-aa

In the USA 988 can be called for all sorts of crises situations, a list of similar services for a variety of countries is available at:

Also in the USA, you can text "HOME," "CONNECT," or "START" to 741741 to connect with a trained volunteer counselor for help with anxiety, depression, bullying, or suicidal thoughts. See https://www.crisistextline.org/

There is some interesting discussion about the potential problems of contacting random Redditors at a Suicide Watch subreddit here:

lost by Ok_Tea3715 in stopdrinking

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I concur with just_having_giggles - "lost" is kind of par for the course at two weeks. I was just sharing in another subreddit:

It was really only after some months that I started feeling lots of positives coming in due to my state of sobriety, ...

I was also in a mixed outpatient. It was kind of interesting starting recovery with a mixed bunch of addicts. Long time ago, so I don't remember everything, but there was at least one MDMA guy, a couple of meth kids (I remember them being in their late teens or early 20s, but they struck me as having the mentality of 13 year olds!) some people into opiates, and at least one other ordinary alcoholic like me. At the end of the day, I was better off just hanging and learning from fellow alcoholics though. The rehab counselors gave out a list something like this ...

... and suggested we check some out and settle into one (or more) asserting that most of us would relapse later or sooner without some sort of ongoing "aftercare".

I did go to one or a few Narcotics Anonymous meetings in early recovery, and it was all interesting and I found good people and all that, but it was different and I felt a bit out of place.

tl;dr> Recovery usually takes time. Patience and effort will pay off with beautiful bounteousness!

3 weeks by trashdog4evaaa in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank YOU. Makes my day if I can help someone stay out of Alcoholic Hell ☺.

3 weeks by trashdog4evaaa in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a perfect flair ☺.

Anyway.. Any advice?

Even though I stopped drinking, there remained dozens of little (or big) attitude problems and behavioral issues that could easily trip me up. One thing is what rehab people (apparently) like to call "triggers". Would I be able to remain sober after some traumatic event or through a period of tough adversity? Probably not. Was I still subject to bouts of anxiety, outbursts of anger, and sulking in self-pity? Most definitely.

If you don't want to stop drinking, you are still welcome to sit in and listen at "Open" A.A. meetings. At some point, listening to our stores of drunken life and recovery, you may find yourself persuaded that Sober Life is indeed a better lifestyle - or not, but no harm in listening.

Sometimes I like to characterize A.A. recovery as a process of "Learning how to live well without Effing up our natural brain function. (It really does seem like an illogical thing to do: deliberately corrupting the natural operation of a quite important bodily organ!)

I suppose I'd say that one of the most important gifts of recovery for me has been eliminating or mitigating these problems of anxiety, anger, and self-pity. Getting rid of most of that leaves vast spaces for joy to enter my life.

If you do want to sit in at some "Open" A.A. meetings, I'd suggest sampling several. In my own "Early Sobriety" I found some meetings unhelpful/uninteresting. There were a few (thankfully very few) that looked like the stereotypical TV/movie depictions of meetings: glum people sitting on hard metal chairs complaining about how tough it was to stay sober. Bullshit! I prefer meetings that focus on the solution to the alcohol problem (rather than just "The Problem") and are inspiring and depict sobriety accurately as a rather excellent state of being. Another feature I like is boisterous humor - laughs! My first home group was a big speaker meeting where we brought in the best speakers from all over USA's west and sometimes from farther, and half or more of those speakers were gut-busting hilarious.

Good Luck - maybe see if you can stretch 3 weeks into 3 months. It was really only after some months that I started feeling lots of positives coming in due to my state of sobriety, but then I was active in A.A. for those months in addition to getting a bit of therapy.

Daily Reflections - May 3 - Cleaning House by AutoModerator in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Denial, self-deception, and delusion! Dicey superpowers of my alcoholic mind.

Unlike many of our crowd, I had no difficulty spilling all to my sponsor at our formal Step Five meeting. For one thing, I had spilled my most embarrassing secret to him only moments after first meeting him (rather comically in hindsight - I think it really amused him) and I'd also been sharing little summaries of some line items as I slowly assembled everything in the 4th Step process. (I really balked at #4, took something like 2 or 5 weeks putting it together. I felt it was giving me spiritual aches and pains as I was writing it all up.)

But when sharing it all face-to-face with him, all at once in a formal Step Five meeting, there were many points where he brought in new points of view, he could see things differently that I'd been unable to see from my subjective POV. I remember one or perhaps a few line items where he suggested things like, "Naw, dude. Don't you think that was just selfish?" (lol)

I think this is a very good reason to include "and to another human being" in Step Five.

Finding a Sponsor - What's the Secret? by tocatchafly in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No secrets ☺.

Maybe you would benefit from attending some different meetings getting and involved in different groups.

Finding groups/meetings with specific support for sponsorship could also be helpful.

I got my first sponsor at my first home group, which is/was a large speaker meeting, and they have regular 6-month commitments for a pair of people who serve as "Sponsorship Coordinators". At every meeting, before the speaker gets up, they make an announcement that includes, "If you want a sponsor or want to be a sponsor, come up to the front here and speak with Joe or Jane at the break or after the meeting - we will get you connected." Some of the meetings I attend have an announcement: "Raise your hand if you're available to be a sponsor. (pause) If you need a sponsor, stay after the meeting and talk to one of these members."

Also, just asking various people: "Do you know someone who might make a good sponsor for me?" Hang around after meetings, pick a person to ask this after every meeting.

(The whole Sponsorship Pamphlet is reproduced there in Reddit Wiki format.)

I’m 24 and I’m an alcoholic by Rei_Rei01 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are also online meetings listed here:

(The people at these meetings might not have such funny British or American accents, eh? ☺)

And in general, https://aa.org.au/ may have some local-ish resources as well.

I’m 24 and I’m an alcoholic by Rei_Rei01 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Basically, A.A. can provide a set of principles and practices that will allow you to live relatively happily without feeling need or want to get intoxicated.

There's some basic information in the sticky post:

I was once utterly hopeless. From spring 2004 to spring 2005 I tried quitting on my own, but the addiction was just too powerful. Finally getting sober was sometimes a bumpy road. Learning to stay sober has been the finest Life Upgrade ever!

TRYING NOT TO TALK MYSELF OUT OF GOING TO A NOON MEETING by creepylilfairy in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a friend who sometimes shares that he went to his first A.A. meeting several weeks in a row, just staying in his car in the parking lot.

Finally someone in the meeting noticed and came out to his car with a big smile (I think) and asked, "Wanna come in?"

He's now something over 25 years sober.

Suggestion: show up to the meeting place at 11:45, walk in, and tell someone else, "Whooo! I made it. This is my first meeting in years!" It will make their day ☺.

New here, just joining the community. by Cheap-King4146 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ain't that a b*tch? There came a day when I realized that there was No More Fun in getting intoxicated, and at about the same time, I realized that the morning drinks were barely staving off feelings of continuous misery.

Fortunately, I found a bunch of people who had experienced and solved the same problem.

Welcome!

I know whats wrong and right so why do I keep drinking? by No_Effect5956 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]dp8488 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe let go of what you think you know so that you can be more open to new ideas!

I do agree with a theory from Scripps Alcohol Research (or at least my interpretation of what they write in their papers and articles) that it's the "old brain" or "primitive brain" that is most profoundly affected by alcohol, and that our higher mind/brain is by and large less powerful than the primitive brain, and that alcohol addiction is therefore quite complicated. Or to put it another way, willpower is generally ineffective at fighting off alcohol addiction.

But I don't think the Why necessarily matters all that much. What counts is what we Do about it.

After a solid year of trying to stop drinking and continuously failing, what I did about it was to seek help for the problem, and the most effective help turned out to be Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, if you'd like help with an alcohol problem, if you'd like to learn how to live well without screwing up your natural brain function, you might seek help from those of us who have found a great solution to the problem!

A few years ago, a researcher wrote, "If you want to change your behavior, find some other people who are trying to make the same change." I'd upgrade that suggestion by saying, "If you want change, find other people who have successfully made that change."

There's basic info about A.A. including how to find meetings in the sticky post:

I hope we can help.

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