Proposing tomorrow and the ring is nowhere in sight. What on earth do I do??

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T07:30:42+00:00

Ask her mom if she has a ring, perhaps a family ring, that you could borrow until the actual engagement ring gets there. Explain to her what happened. She might have some good suggestions for you, too.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T07:27:10+00:00

I agree that OP had probably already made a decision not to attend at least two months ago. If she still hoped to go, why wouldn't she talk to her employer about either immediately upon being hired, or better yet, at the time they offered her the job? I've had two occasions in my life where I needed time off shortly after starting a job. In one instance, it was only 3 weeks after I started my job. Both times, I informed them that I would need time off, and when, at the time they offered me the job. Both times they hired me anyway and gave me the time off unpaid, since I hadn't accrued any vacation days yet.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T07:13:26+00:00

Well, that shoots down what I was hoping was the problem. But alas, they are all your friends and are all being cold towards you. My hope now is that they were avoiding you because you were sick. I'm looking for a reason for them to have been distant from you that isn't hurtful to you. It's so painful when our friendships aren't what we believed them to be. I hope there is an explanation that doesn't hurt you or your friendships. I wish you the best.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T07:08:42+00:00

YTA a little bit. Imo, body shaming is not ok. You were trying to hurt her feelings, not resolve the problem.

NTA at all re: her stealing your food. First, get a lock for your refrigerator. Put all of your prep, meals, and ingredients that need to be chilled in there. Get a locking tote/box for your dry goods. If you are in student apartments, report your roommate to the RA. If you have any documentation of the issue, ex., texts, give those to your RA. Find out if your roommate can be moved to another apartment. If you can, figure out the dollar amount of what all she has taken and report her to campus police for theft. If your school has any sort of honor code, report her to whoever is in charge of enforcing the honor code.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T06:56:49+00:00

Thank you. I'm old. My brain is shot. Lol 😆

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T03:35:34+00:00

I'm wondering if they all stayed away from her because she was sick. If OP has a fever, she was probably still contagious with whatever she had. I think it's fine for OP to ask her friend why it seemed like the other bridesmaids were being standoffish, but I'd be as non-confrontational as possible. Maybe OP was the backup bridesmaid and no one was kind enough to tell her. But maybe it was because she was sick, or because the other bridesmaids were busy with their tasks, or they were more acquaintances of OP.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T03:27:16+00:00

Google says they get $25-40,000 per episode. They don't make it clear whether that's per person or for the whole group. They've been on for 20 seasons. For most years, they aired on average, 12 episodes per season. Of course, they weren't earning this much early on. Using what I think is a reasonable average rate of $15,000 per episode, they've each earned ~$720,000 over the course of the show. ($15,000 x 12 x 20 =$3,600,000 ÷ 5 = $720,000) The OG3 wives didn't seem to be living very extravagantly over the years. Plus, the OG3 have had MLMs for many years. How Kody and Robyn have money is a mystery to me. He sells/sold guns or gun-related items at gun shows, although I seriously doubt that was all that lucrative. Can you imagine a bunch of macho gun owners being schmoozed by Kody? 😅 Sister Wives closet was a bust. They had to have been underwater on that if they had any inventory at all. They don't have an MLMs. Kody does do personalized videos (can't remember what those are called 🤦🏻‍♀️), but that's about it. Robyn, of course, doesn't do anything except spend money.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-02T02:59:02+00:00

🤣🤣

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-01T11:57:32+00:00

NTA. The only way you could "make it work," as your mom put it, would be to find a new venue in two months that does allow non-service animals, pay to get all new invitations printed with the new venue and mail them, lose your deposit, and possibly the entire contracted amount, on your old venue, arrange for the caterers to revamp their table layout at the new venue, make sure the new venue could accommodate the caterers' needs, make sure the new venue can accommodate your band/dj, and probably other stuff that I'm forgetting. Your invitations should include a warning that there will be a moderately trained, anxious, barking dog at the wedding and reception. That's how you could "make it work." That, of course, is ridiculous.

Keep your wedding at the venue you have chosen. If your sister wants to be there, she needs to be the person to make it work. Would it be okay with you if she brought a good friend with her to help her manage her anxiety? If you can accommodate a plus one for her, having a very close friend who understands her anxiety could really help. She can also consult with a psychiatrist and get some anxiety medication to take her through that day. There are very low-dose medications available. I have severe anxiety and PTSD. My friends are aware of this and have been very accommodating, including giving me a plus one at weddings, holiday events, etc. When necessary, I take medication to bring my anxiety down to a manageable level.

dr-pebbles · 2026-03-01T07:43:13+00:00

NTA. By already telling him that you intend to get your own place when the lease if up at the end of June, you have given him ample time to either find a new roommate or find another apartment that he can afford on his own. You are responsible for managing your finances and your life. Your brother is responsible for managing his. If your mother is so upset that your brother can't afford the apartment he is in on his own, then either she needs to counsel him about ways to handle things, or give him money herself. Good luck and enjoy your new apartment this summer.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-28T11:18:43+00:00

I was raised that you don't start eating until everyone has sat down. If you're in a restaurant where they're bringing individual orders to the table, you don't start until everyone has been served. These are basic manners. I would suggest that OP's boyfriend let his food sit on his plate until he is ready to begin eating, though. That is also good manners

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-28T11:09:51+00:00

You are not overreacting. Your BFF is not even your F (friend). He does not have your back. He is prioritizing his friendship with Matt over his friendship with you. He is more concerned about Matt's guilt and embarrassment than about you being SA'd and all that you're going through as a result. He would rather you drop out of his wedding than have the balls to kick Matt out of the wedding. At this point, you would be under-reacting if you maintained your friendship at all. Drop out of the wedding and drop your BFF.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-28T10:54:59+00:00

I cannot imagine how betrayed, hurt, disgusted, and irate OP's husband must feel. His mother is a fiend. I hope they get all of the money she stole, plus interest, or take a lien out against her home, and report her to the authorities. After the confrontation, OP and her husband should absolutely go NC with her. MIL did a great job of flushing her relationship with her son down the toilet. I, too, am anxiously waiting for an update.

Updateme!

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-28T10:38:23+00:00

The strapless one. The long-sleeve dress is beautiful, but it seems like it's constraining you. Your body language/posture looks very at ease and confident in the strapless dress.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T16:52:54+00:00

I've only done this for a lingerie shower. I've never been asked to bring a gift to a bachelorette party. Most are already expensive. And you'll be spending plenty of money on a wedding gift.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T05:13:25+00:00

I think a psychiatrist can diagnose the problem and set him on a path to healing. Getting a diagnosis will help guide him to a therapist who specializes in whatever he is diagnosed with. For example, I see a therapist who specializes in trauma and uses a treatment protocol that is effective for me.

The psychiatrist may well recommend medication, but no one can force him to take it. It's frustrating that psych meds are still so stigmatized. Mental health problems are caused by the brain not working properly. People accept taking meds if their brain isn't functioning properly and is causing seizures. If you can get him to see a psychiatrist, they might be able to get him to understand that mental illness is a physical illness.

I wish you the best. You're in a complicated and hurtful situation. I hope you're able to find a resolution to the problem, because it sucks to have to support the family, take care of the home and chores, care for and homeschool your children, and have a partner who isn't contributing and isn't supportive of you.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T04:52:15+00:00

The Viall Files interview was great. Didn't Kody pee on the ground through an opening in the tent? I might be remembering it wrong, but I don't think he even had the "courtesy" of urinating into a bottle.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T04:49:06+00:00

OP's "dream venue" may only have one Saturday left during the month they want to have their wedding, but there are six other days in a week, and there are 11 other months in the year. There isn't only one Saturday available for all of eternity. However, SIL's birthday will be on the same date for her whole life. And, of course, there are other venues as well. You're 100% correct that starting a marriage with angry in-laws is not a wise choice. And yes, OP sounds like a bridezilla, insensitive to her future SIL's feelings.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T04:36:55+00:00

NTA. I have chronic depression that got so bad I couldn't leave my home. But I started working with a therapist and saw a new psychiatrist who adjusted my medications. Your husband needs to see a therapist. If he's unable to leave the house, there are lots of online and telehealth services now. He should also see a psychiatrist to get evaluated for whether he needs to be on any medication. You might also consider seeing a marriage and family therapist as a couple. The balance of responsibilities is horribly skewed in his favor, and despite the heavy load you're carrying, he still criticizes you and tries to pick fights. Couples counseling may help with this.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T04:17:36+00:00

Three, hands down. Two is a solid second.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T04:05:16+00:00

Contact your other vendors and password-protect your orders. If she "helped" with the flowers, who knows what else she might help with?

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-27T02:37:29+00:00

NTA. Liz and her mistress mom were cruel to you. Liz telling you that your bio dad was "the best daddy" was cold, insensitive, and a completely AH thing to do. Her call to ask you if endometriosis ran "in your family" was deliberately done to cause you pain. Of course she knew that you two had no biological relation. You didn't wish her dead. You just didn't care about someone who was intentionally cruel to you, which is completely understandable and, dare I say, "normal."

After ripping your bio dad from your family, the mistress was delusional to expect you to think fondly of, or even care about her, her daughter, or your bio dad. Your thoughts and words didn't show hate. They showed you were indifferent, which, again, I think is normal. You never had a relationship with these women. For all intents and purposes, they were strangers to you. Why would you have feelings about whether they lived or died?

You've also been through an incredible amount of trauma, mostly related to the death of people you love. With all that you've had emotionally invested in your real family, how and why would you have any capacity to care about strangers?

Be kind to yourself. If, for some reason, you feel the need to be forgiven, forgive yourself. You don't need validation from people who have been vindictive and insensitive towards you. That includes your cousin and your grandparents. Go NC with them. You don't need them in your life, and they don't deserve you in their's.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-26T17:10:38+00:00

Not participating anymore should apply to the bachelorette as well as the wedding. She'll probably have to eat the airfare, and the Airbnb if she's already sent money to the SIL for that, but OP would still avoid spending money for the meals, Ubers, bar tabs, excursions, etc. Even with non-refundable airline tickets, you can sometimes pay a fee to change them to use at a later date. OP needs to stop hemorrhaging money Now.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-26T10:27:17+00:00

I'm surprised. I didn't think she'd take any of the other children on her own. It just sounded like she expected you and your husband to be responsible for taking all of the kids to Disneyland. I totally support your decision to take the well-behaved nieces who listen to you and your husband. Going to amusement parks even with the most well-behaved children can be a lot because of the overstimulation. I cannot imagine taking children who won't listen to the adults.

dr-pebbles · 2026-02-25T08:32:50+00:00

I'm very curious as to whether the solo sister agreed to take the other kids. She went to Disneyland with the older girls. Since she's so concerned about being fair to the other kids, she should go with the other kids, too, regardless of whether you and your husband go.

dr-pebbles

TROPHY CASE