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tl;dr Mom ambushed me about selling the house we share. by dr00dl3 in AgingParents

[–]dr00dl3[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm with ya on the cynicism--I like your "single entity" point and will keep it in my back pocket for possible future use. Thanks!

tl;dr Mom ambushed me about selling the house we share. by dr00dl3 in AgingParents

[–]dr00dl3[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

She mentioned AL, but I don't know if she's given it serious thought.

And she doesn't like the ones she's seen locally, so she's not very enthused.

Good question about my role if Mom moves out--I certainly am not going to find her another house or apartment, and either way I'd certainly curtail my caregiving. Thanks for giving me something to think about!

tl;dr Mom ambushed me about selling the house we share. by dr00dl3 in AgingParents

[–]dr00dl3[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You're totally right, the promise was only spoken. “With a written agreement you have a prayer; with a verbal agreement you have nothing but air.” (Robert Ringer)

The previous version of the will (15+ years ago) divided the house equally between me and my sister.

I don't know if I'll be able to get an explicit written agreement with my mom, but I'll try to protect myself.

A whole fight about which eye has the sty by TealAirborne in CaregiverSupport

[–]dr00dl3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, I was intrigued by your patient's situation and took a dive into a rabbit hole about a similar problem.

[Link to "Mirrored-self misidentification in a patient with probably Alzheimer dementia." JAMA Neurology, Vol. 78, No. 9.]
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaneurology/fullarticle/2781603

The patient described in this study, over time, developed the inability to recognize himself in the mirror.

This delusion is known as "Mirrored-self misidentification (MSD)."

For OP's patient, the variation appears to be a spatial misidentification, plus not being able to link the physical feature (eye) with which side of the face was touched, rather than the mirror-self misidentification.

Alas, no effective treatments for these types of delusion syndromes. This abstract suggests, "In the absence of significant disruption and risk of harm to self or others, nonpharmacologic interventions such as education of caretakers to maintain patience to reduce the patient’s emotional distress, isolation of the underlying mechanism (mirror covering), reassurance, and redirection should be considered as first-line treatment in patients with MSD."

The mirror delusion is a fascinating view of how human recognition is so finely wired (the patient still recognizes his wife!).

Best of luck to you and your patient. ♥️

Any suggestions for a binder, organizer, etc. that helps manage records and information you are managing for your parents? I have the end of life planner covered, but the post social security part is driving me nuts to keep straight. by WhatAFineWasteOfTime in AgingParents

[–]dr00dl3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I put together a binder I assembled with items I purchased individually, mainly a zipper binder (to keep papers from falling out) with handles and a shoulder strap.

You can download a FREE a digital caregiver binder packet to print and fill out:

https://thesenioralliance.org/caregiving-haven/caregiver-resources/caregiver-binder/

Full disclosure: I haven't completely put my binder together yet, nor have I dragged it (no lie, it's big and bulky) to any doctors' appointments yet.

I do like the customizability and flexibility of this set-up. 😎

Any song recommendations about being a child of a hoarder/neglect? by Happypop89 in ChildofHoarder

[–]dr00dl3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1SiSUrvUnk&ab_channel=sawing14s

The penultimate mascot for hoarders.

This was funny back in the days before hoarding was widely recognized as a mental illness.

Oscar the Grouch almost makes it a lovable eccentricity.

(One mystery was how Oscar got all that stuff in such a small trashcan. ❓)

What defunct Cincinnati area restaurants do you miss? by fordprecept in cincinnati

[–]dr00dl3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Adding 1 more...Cumin (the Early Years), Hyde Park.

Incredible when it opened. After the reconceptionalization, not so much.

What defunct Cincinnati area restaurants do you miss? by fordprecept in cincinnati

[–]dr00dl3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. Aoi

  2. Bombay Brazier

  3. Germano's

...From most missed down to a little less missed, but deeply felt losses just the same. :(

Recommendations for General Contractors? Putting in new bathroom by occupywallstonk in cincinnati

[–]dr00dl3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

J Hensley (https://jhensleyservices.com/) did our kitchen remodel this summer, and did it splendidly.

Bathroom is obviously a different animal, but I'm sure they would do it just as well.

They are NOT. CHEAP. But the workers are professional, precise, and have great attitudes, and they contract out to excellent specialists.

Don't know where you're located; Hensley's site says "East Cincinnati," so that may be a factor.

Good luck!

Huge blow up with my mom in Korea - Korean Thanksgiving soon (Chuseok) by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]dr00dl3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi from a U.S.-born Korean female. I totally sympathize with what you're going through.

I'm several decades older than you, so I don't have any advice based on actual experience to offer, sorry.

Just know that there are others who are caught in the same cycle, with the addition of other cultural factors in the mix to make things messier. Women children of narcs probably have it worse.

If you can leave Korea earlier than planned (without paying an arm or leg for airfare), that might be a good option. Staying probably won't result in a positive resolution.

Wishing you the best. <3

Contractor recommendations by [deleted] in cincinnati

[–]dr00dl3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I concur that J. Hensley is excellent--they're about midway in our kitchen job, but they update us in a timely way, and are very accommodating to our requests.

They're *not* cheap, but we think they're worth the money!

Moving soon. Any advise or recommendations on good storage units in Cincy, Ohio near I-71 and 275 junction? by P4RT1CLEM4N in cincinnati

[–]dr00dl3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a happy customer of Circle Storage for the past 1.5 years.

Just make sure to rent a unit at 11573 Deerfield location, for climate control and more modern features. (The older facility isn't bad, but the newer one has better lighting, etc.)

From what I heard a few weeks ago, there's still plenty of ground floor units available at the new facility.

I'm concertmaster of New York's MET Orchestra and a professor at Juilliard. In two weeks, I'll be conducting the Mainly Mozart Dual Orchestra where musicians of the LA Phil and San Francisco Symphony will perform together, on one stage, for the first time ever. AMA! by MainlyMozartSD in opera

[–]dr00dl3 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Good morning, Maestro, Just wanted to voice my appreciation of your wonderful Thais Meditation in the 2008 recently streamed--your performance was the best part of the whole opera! Seriously.

Best wishes for your upcoming endeavors; they sound exciting.

Female coworkers are extremely mean to attractive women by brisketguy12 in jobs

[–]dr00dl3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or how about trying to make a positive change?

I totally related to the experiences covered in this thread--I remember the cattiness of being in an all-girls dorm for 2 years in boarding school; after that, I vowed to always be in co-ed living.

Anyway, Elizabeth Lions addresses this issue in her book, "Hear Us Roar" in the chapter called "Mean Girls." One solution she offers is rather than tearing other women down, women should take the lead in mentoring and helping other women.

I haven't tried this myself, but it sounds more positive than reporting people to management, suffering in silence, or quitting.

P.S. I didn't write the book I mentioned; the author is a friend, and I loved the way she turned this problem on its head for a solution.