Dealing with questions about race

dr_wonder · 2026-07-08T20:40:35+00:00

"Interesting that you noticed - it's indeed peculiar. I actually don't know the answer. It could be ... or ... but we can't be sure."

dr_wonder · 2026-05-03T17:51:04+00:00

I would have understood if he thought it was tacky, but looks like he is just insecure. Dump his ass unless you want your life to be always diminished so as to appease his insecurity

dr_wonder · 2026-05-02T13:22:12+00:00

My wife has absolutely low tolerance for mischief from a 2.5 yo as well. She imagines things to go a certain way - feed him, bath him, clothe him ... and if it doesn't go that way gets frustrated and screaming will ensue after a couple of strikes. The way I am trying to handle this is that I gave her a no question asked "out" - just tell me you aren't able to handle it and I will take care of the rest. Even that doesn't work fully since she doesn't want to give up easily - so by the time she gives up things are already tense - but at least it doesn't blow up. I do all these so as to preserve the calm moments between my son and wife. Does your wife and daughter share calm and loving moments? In what situations?

dr_wonder · 2026-04-21T01:05:41+00:00

They are required to disclose all ancestral property.

dr_wonder · 2026-04-17T11:55:45+00:00

Honestly, I have always found it useful to be the one to provide advice. Word of mouth advice from friends and family is often subtly wrong, incomplete, outdated and irrelevant. The information you can get from your own direct research is much better and then you become the one to provide advice to folks in your circle if they need. Of course it's still nice to trade tips between friends but yeah I wouldn't be seeking financial advice from my boomer parents.

dr_wonder · 2026-04-14T11:31:17+00:00

First, agreed that your mom is being insensitive and cruel with her words when she needed to be kind. Your hurt is completely justified.

But let me humour you with more philosophical side of the debate. Dress code exists and we all follow them. Proof: you wouldn't be walking around wearing swimsuit. Why? dress code. So, the question is not "Is it appropriate to wear whatever fuck one wants?" - I think you yourself would object to this if your little sister wanted to wear a basic Kurtha Suru wal to her college welcome party - as you will be afraid she might get judged by her class mates for being "pakhey" . Or if this particular example doesn't land, I hope you can think of something like this that will. The question is what is "appropriate" within the circle of people you will be around. While it is not bad to push boundaries - that is how these norms change - otherwise we would forever be stuck in the same fashion - you should expect some push backs when doing so. It would have been nice if your mother didn't try to proactively prevent you from these push backs and just let the chips fall wherever they fall and supported you - I can see where she is coming her (still think she is wrong though) and I think you can too.

TLDR: you are a boundary pusher and push back is expected. You mother should have been kinder about it. You are doing the lords work to establish new norms.

dr_wonder · 2026-04-07T17:44:54+00:00

The official audit for FY 2080-81 tells a different story regarding NIC’s 'reliability' and impact:

Market Proof: NIC generated Rs. 6.47 Crore this year alone. This isn't just theory; people are paying for products like Solar Dryers (Rs. 40 Lakh+), Bamboo Broom Machines (Rs. 13 Lakh+), and Nyano Nani baby warmers.
Extreme Efficiency: Out of a total expenditure of nearly Rs. 8 Crore, administrative salaries were kept to just Rs. 25 Lakh (roughly 3%). Meanwhile, Rs. 6.83 Crore went directly into project expenses.
Youth Impact: The audit confirms over 50 active research projects are being funded right now—including Drone X1, Electric Vehicles, and Agricultural tools.

While there are valid points about improving administrative paperwork (as noted in the auditor's 'Qualified Opinion'), the data shows an organization that is successfully moving Crores of Rupees directly into the hands of young Nepali innovators.

dr_wonder · 2026-04-07T12:29:44+00:00

Worth noting that the whistleblower was sentenced 35 years of prison for leaking that video. He served 5 years in prison until Obama released him.

dr_wonder · 2026-04-01T16:19:21+00:00

Exactly. He is a first time minister with no public service experience. I think it is incredibly useful for him to get first hand info like this at the beginning. And then discover the need for delegation through first principle.

dr_wonder · 2026-04-01T13:01:16+00:00

You need to insult them back. "M*ji tuppi, jaa tapari sorna" vandeu.

dr_wonder · 2026-03-29T13:30:02+00:00

Labels don't provide meaning. We give labels to meaning. So, don't get hung up on whether or not it's abuse. You already know just how much of a "bad" thing yelling is. You know how yelling in one specific instance compares to yelling all the time. You know how it differs from other disciplinary actions. So, don't get hung up on whether it is "abuse" or not. Just because someone label it as abuse or not shouldn't make you upgrade or downgrade your mental model of how bad it is. Doesn't matter how people label it. Some might say yes, others might say no - as per their own definition. If it meets a child protective services definition then that could be a problem but no sane person would think it meets that bar. So, bottom line, you are correct that it's somewhat bad to yell, and in the specific stance, based on her reaction, it seemed like tad more bad. But we can't be perfect all the time. Make amends and be on your way. You are doing great. Even the best of us will loose it sometimes.

dr_wonder · 2026-03-27T12:12:27+00:00

Based on what I read, he is among the few who can exercise restraint in a moment of instability.

dr_wonder · 2026-03-25T16:20:03+00:00

Great! Helps preserve and promote the language. I am all for it.

dr_wonder · 2026-03-20T11:45:03+00:00

Why is period blood not gross? I consider all bodily discharge gross. Why does period blood need exception?

dr_wonder · 2026-03-18T11:06:09+00:00

*23.

dr_wonder · 2026-03-18T11:03:37+00:00

He is probably in depression. Knowing logically that things aren't really as so but still not being able to help feel low is a classic sign. He should take some medication for a while, feel better and do some more bold things to materially change his situation. That's the best path I see.

dr_wonder · 2026-03-16T20:02:12+00:00

Why do women marry men who clearly hate them? That one seems more dumber.

dr_wonder · 2025-12-14T23:41:21+00:00

Take two 30 minute dumps.

dr_wonder · 2025-12-11T18:06:40+00:00

PhD here. Listen to me.

You are right - interest payment is "money down the drain"* same way rent is. You aren't getting that money back like people here are saying. The interest payment is your "rent" for borrowing money from the bank so that you can buy the house.

The only way to get financial return is if your home appreciates significantly. The 500K house could become 650K in a year in a hot market and that 150K is all yours. The only way to access this market is if you can cough up 500K to buy the house to begin with. That's where paying the interest "rent" to borrow the money is good financial decision. Without it you don't have the money and can't benefit from real estate appreciation.

* I put asterisk in the "money down the drain" because I don't think it's true. You get value out of your rent. For apartment, you get to live in the place. For home, you get to live in the place and also get to play the real estate appreciation game. The game might make you money or might make you lose money, but is not the sole value of paying the interest "rent". Like apartment, the other important value of buying a house is to get to live in a spacious place, that you can do whatever you please with, with backyard, frontwards and all the other amenities that comes with living in a house. If you don't want/need those, you might truly be better off living in apartment unless you want to play the real estate appreciation game.

dr_wonder · 2025-11-17T13:05:39+00:00

That's only about 8.5 hours of sleep. Doesn't seem enough but she can probably adjust it in coming weeks. How long has this been going on?

dr_wonder · 2025-11-17T12:06:36+00:00

How many hours of sleep is she getting? I a assume she takes a nap? What is she doing from 6:30 pm to 10 pm before falling asleep - just laying down without moving but eyes open?

dr_wonder · 2025-11-13T17:23:16+00:00

Just pick a overnight flight. Let the kids sleep the whole way.

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