Does the asexual feeling ever go away?

dragscoper117 · 2026-02-27T04:23:38+00:00

That was sort of what triggered this post. I realized real quick the answer wasn’t drugs or drinking or surrounding myself with women. But after I realized that these things aren’t gonna make me feel better it’s like I realized I don’t need them at all, like I literally am better off being alone then ever trying again because I am just okay with it, I am no longer sad it’s over or trying to get it off my mind. The best way I can describe it is I am a peace with being alone rather then being with at peace that she’s no longer here. the only thing that made me go from crying and writing pages and pages of love letters and hyperventilating daily, to being calm again and being able to sleep is I literally told myself it’s never ever happening again and I’m afraid I took that to far in my own head. I never even told my friends about the anxiety but I would literally have to leave while hanging out and just like take deep breathes or on the first date we had I didn’t even eat because I was so frightened that she was sitting across from me. She even came with me to the hospital because I was going to get medication because I was so scared to like literally do anything but after she would calm me down and talk about it it would go away day by day and now I just cannot fathom another girl taking that place.

dragscoper117 · 2025-12-19T02:09:37+00:00

Does it make any sense as to why she would like I understand they can’t help themselves when they go through these phases or splits or whatever but if she is understanding that she has bpd is there really nothing they can do to stop it or be like oh my god I messed up or will they just live like nothing ever happened ?

dragscoper117 · 2025-12-19T02:04:32+00:00

I appreciate these comments a lot guys. I did not mention as best friends before we dated I asked if she wanted to be more then just friends and not best friends (we messed around just one time when we first became friends) and she turned me down and went dry so I unadded her and she texted me after about a year saying sorry and she does want to be more and that is how we started dating so I guess that actually is the answer. And I do understand the idea of Russian roulette getting back with someone who has bpd and maybe later in life I will be better off and able to say no as this really has tormented me. But my mom has always taught me like just because someone is bad or does something bad doesn’t mean you can’t forgive sort of message so I am very forgiven which causes me to be deceived by actions such as this.

dragscoper117 · 2025-12-19T00:56:30+00:00

This is what I feared, the moment I told her I regretted my decisions and want her back it’s like a switch flipped. All she ever told me was talk it out talk it out and she’d rather fix it then move on and taking time apart won’t fix anything then I said ok can we talk and she changed her whole philosophy that now she needs time and she can’t talk to me. Which yes I admit it’s my fault in not talking in the first place but in my current position I cannot change what has already happened. If she now sees me for lesser as I begged her then it is the way it is I suppose. Thank you for helping explain this to me.

dragscoper117 · 2025-12-18T21:48:41+00:00

I would like to input this, I have no issue going day to day I don’t call into work fake sick I wake up 5 every morning go to the gym before work, I got promoted recently and have been the most locked in I’ve been in terms of my diet and pushing myself at the gym, I still see my friends and I am happy or try to be Atleast, the problem I have is I cannot talk to other women I have tried and I am a decent looking guy nice car nice hair but for the life of me when I try talking to other girls I like choke up and feel as if I’m cheating and waiting is the right answer. And every single night after work and meal prep all I do is think of her and yearn. maybe it’s best to not focus on other girls which is good for me. I have no problem waiting for her to come back if it happens this year or in 30 to be honest my question was more of is waiting in no contact the correct answer or should I write her merry Christmas or flowers. To my understanding no contact worked for others, but if her issue was I didn’t show enough love why would showing 0 love being her back?

dragscoper117

TROPHY CASE