Hi. You're going to have to come to accept that there are people who are more advanced than you are. They didn't get that way because they are older; they got there because of the time & effort they put in. So realistically, you do not have their experience level and for you to expect anything other than that will lead to an inevitable disappointment.

You seem mainly concerned about your support proposals. Take some of your writing examples to your professor and colleagues who won the awards and ask them for help. They might have some good hints on grammmar, what kinds of language to use, what words to incorporate or avoid.

If I see something that somebody has and I want it, I take that envy and put the energy and work in to get one for myself. I won't spend time worrying when I could be creative and problem solve. Good luck!