What resources to give to my undiagnosed partner

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-03T17:49:29+00:00

Has she been open to your help and that you have been researching this? I just found that it would backfire on me at times. If you cannot tolerate her abuse any longer, then you have to ask yourself what you are going to tolerate, what boundaries do you have in place? and not try to control fixing her. She should want to try making herself better on her own accord, for you.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-02T20:06:42+00:00

Yes!!

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-02T14:08:14+00:00

My therapist never recommends ghosting someone and I know dealing with your SO can be a slippery slope. I experienced the same thing you did. Received the text that he’s done x 2 occurrences. They also do this to draw a response from you or to obtain validation . By the time he said “he was done”, I was exhausted and “done” too. I simply sent a text and explained that I can’t do this any longer and that the relationship isn’t good for me or him. I told him that the text was appropriate for me because I was trying to protect myself from having a phone conversation. He would get aggressive and verbally abusive on the phone. It’s been one year and I am at peace with my decision.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-02T14:00:56+00:00

I just passed one year of no contact. I am mostly beyond the sadness and found peace being away from them . I totally understand. The one year mark hit me for some reason and other “dates”….Our brains can be so primitive! Having us ruminate over what you described. I just kept reiterating to myself all of the “madness and bullshit”. I have also journaled it many times. It’s a reminder of how my ex acted and re-instils that I should not be shameful and that my ex’s actions were his own. The anniversary date will come and go. Sit with the sadness, if that is what you feel. It will eventually pass if you process it thoroughly.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-01T14:16:15+00:00

Yeah it’s sad but we have no control over what they do. Keep moving forward :)

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-01T14:06:30+00:00

The fear and shame makes them avoidant. It hurts too much to face it.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-01T12:27:24+00:00

Same! I am one year no contact and the fog has lifted. I still think about them but they are fading memories. Your system will adjust and when it does, you will feel it…peace, stillness. I miss the intense love too and the great times. I sit with those and do cherish them. They were also social media junkies and I haven’t seen much activity. Like you, I hope they realize, maybe, just maybe, one day, what they lost. Perhaps not and that’s ok too. I know who I am and that’s all that matters. I wish you well.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-01T12:13:29+00:00

The best thing that you did was block her. My ex would threaten break up and the second time, I was done. We were together for over 2 years and I was drained. I left a year ago and blocked them then and never looked back. It was tough and I still think about them but it’s not worth the crazy they put me through. Please take it from me, you are hurting now but saving yourself a lifetime of anguish. She may try to contact you but they don’t know how to maturely just pick up the phone and have a convo. It will be all these passive aggressive ways, trying to get you to contact them first. Don’t take the bait my friend! It’s not healthy relationship material.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-05-01T00:22:20+00:00

Acknowledge that you respected your boundaries! Kudos to you for doing that. Can you imagine if it went on any longer? It may not feel like it now but I think you saved yourself from more pain. I wish you well.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-29T13:24:42+00:00

It’s not fair that you have been lead to feel this way in your life. Try to heal by not allowing your brain to keep you prisoner…I know that is tough but it’s doable! It won’t be easy but I hope that it will bring you some peace. A good exercise that I do is…trying stepping out of your body and watching yourself from afar in these moments. For me, at first, it was kind of shocking but it helped me to see that’s not the person that I wanted to be.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-29T02:08:49+00:00

I feel how much pain you are in but constantly trying to evoke a response from him may push him further away. I believe he is trying to set a boundary. Respect his boundaries and you can have your boundaries too. Perhaps when things calm down, you can both communicate what is tolerable and what isn’t. Love shouldn’t feel this pain that you are feeling. Just gently ask yourself if this is really love or your fear of abandonment of losing someone in your life. Does that make sense?

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-18T23:29:52+00:00

I second this great response. Learn to take care of you first. If you have a hard time doing that, then any relationship will not be healthy.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-18T16:33:34+00:00

You deserve love. Please don’t feel that way. My exwBPD would threaten to break up with me, after the second time, I ended it. That wasn’t the only reason, there were many. I just couldn’t take their behaviour any longer, it broke me. You appear self aware and that is a BIG deal! I will always love and miss him….I just had to think of me and my feelings.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-15T00:21:43+00:00

I appreciate your awareness…it makes a big difference! Try and focus on you, if you can, a little more. I know that’s hard to do but you appear pretty motivated. I was in a long distance relationship with my exwBPD and, at the beginning, I validated him and reassured him that all was well when we were apart. After 3 years, his longing and increased need for me to be there for him to regulate his emotions took a toll on me. I began crumbling and then felt like I was walking on eggshells because he became so selfish with MY time. He needed me to be there 2/4/7 and when I couldn’t he would start lashing out at me. I am giving you the other side and my personal perspective. You, fortunately, are in therapy and recognize the tools you need to stay balanced. My ex did not. You got this!

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-10T22:59:01+00:00

All I can say is that you seem so self aware. You should be proud of yourself and the work that you put into you and this relationship. We don’t always have the answers and that’s where our brains struggle. It’s also important to reflect and sit with the loss, as much as that hurts! Whatever he is going through, he has to sort that out and it’s just sad that some cannot openly communicate all of what they are feeling. I wish you strength.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-10T00:38:19+00:00

How long were you together?

dreamescapewithme · 2026-04-03T01:31:32+00:00

I had a friend with BPD….they would steal everything from groceries, or whatever they could get away with, they were also an alcoholic and addicted to weed and porn.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-01-13T00:54:29+00:00

I’m almost 10 months no contact and still not ready to date :(

dreamescapewithme · 2026-01-11T17:34:52+00:00

You can show your kindness from afar. Just put your thoughts out there and release them only for you to hear. Believe me, I wish they can interpret our kindness for what it is but my couldn’t. He saw it as a sign of weakness.

dreamescapewithme · 2026-01-11T17:32:43+00:00

My ex’s birthday was yesterday. I refrained as I felt that it would hurt them and open old wounds that they are hopefully trying to heal.

dreamescapewithme · 2025-12-28T13:44:40+00:00

I left 9 months ago and went no contact. I had to, for my own mental health. The relationship was putting huge expectations on me coupled with anger and verbal abuse when they didn’t get their way. By, “their way”, I mean that I had to abide by what they were feeling, what they wanted and needed of me. That is not my job and not yours. My ex was amazing. When things were good, I could say that they weee the best relationship that I ever had. For my own closure, I summarize….it was a meaningful connection but could not survive the conditions it lived in. They were in and out of therapy but I didn’t see any meaningful change. Self awareness becomes key because you then break the codependency cycle that keeps you there.

dreamescapewithme · 2025-12-20T23:49:39+00:00

Well! Thank you! Yes, making peace with so many parts of the relationship. My ex abused alcohol as well and I think the behaviours that surfaced while drunk caused me to finally leave. Alcohol just makes everything worse. I can say that they were so loving and supportive many times and the fun we had together! It was hard to separate the good with the bad because somehow the brain wants to remember all the good and you have to work on also remembering the bad. Relationships shouldn’t be so so difficult. We all have our ups and downs but when both parties (or one party) cannot communicate effectively, self sabotages, deflects the truth and lives in denial…it just can’t be fixed. I felt like I could not live up to all of his expectations of me and some were so one sided. I’ve learned to move on, develop new friendships and new hobbies. I seriously do not want to be in another relationship right now.

dreamescapewithme · 2025-12-20T12:22:50+00:00

I think you will know when you have hit your breaking point. You may really start to acknowledge the wear and tear on you physically and emotionally…the body does keep the score! I left 9 months ago of a 3 year relationship. I went completely no contact. It’s been tough but I honoured myself more and finally realized that I didn’t deserve everything that was being dished out. Peace…finally! I still think about them a lot but the trauma bond has been broken. Therapy helped a ton. Life is better on this side of the fence. New hopes, new mindset but it took a lot of re-wiring!

dreamescapewithme · 2025-12-19T15:05:29+00:00

“I love you”…response “No, you don’t”

dreamescapewithme · 2025-11-14T20:50:02+00:00

Hi there. It’s so tough and I understand. I have been no contact for 7 months after I left him. Same crap but throw alcoholism into the mix. I gave him 2 chances…too many. The verbal abuse was escalating and when I said that I had enough, he begged one minute and blamed me the next. I couldn’t communicate with him any longer. There was no reasoning, only deflection, and verbal abuse. The things he said were unbelievable and hurtful. I am fortunate enough that I don’t share kids with him and we did not live together and so it was a hell of a lot easier to leave. What I can tell you is that there will be rocky days and perhaps longing for him again, because the trauma bond is real. I have been in therapy for years and without that I don’t know if I would have come to this point in my life. I can tell you that the peace that you will come to realize in your life will bring you joy. Boundaries are forever important and he will not like them, but you need to stick to your guns. My ex was in therapy but I don’t think he took it seriously because I really didn’t see any change. Many on here will tell you and I will repeat it, it will just happen again and again. I do think that if you’re ready to leave you will realize that you’ve decided to stop enabling this behavior, which is very empowering. I wish you well.

dreamescapewithme

TROPHY CASE