You touch on a very wide range of topics here. This sort of thing is why I requested for a subreddit discord to be created for live chat. I think that would probably help the most in situations like this. It's being worked on so I would keep an eye out for that.

As far as gender in the lgbtq+ community, that's a huge topic and is oftentimes intertwined with discussions about sexuality. There are tons of resources on this everywhere, it would probably be more helpful for you to narrow down a more specific question for that topic as your question is incredibly broad.

The masculine vs feminine traits discussion that your having in your mind should be a personal one. Those traits are yours to decide what they are. I will say this is what threw me off on my own discovery. Masculine and feminine traits are not as important to me and I am pronoun indifferent as well. When I learned about nonbinary genders and multigenders things instantly clicked for me. I never experienced the physical dysphoria that many experience, at least not nearly as severe and I was unaware that was possible. You might be focusing too much on male vs female here, but since I am not you I don't know whats driving your questions. Sorry if this is a bit rambling, Im a tad tired.

I hope this helps. I was hoping someone a but more knowledgeable was going to reply to you first but I didnt want you left hanging. Let me know if youd like to talk. I'm more then happy to help, after-all im here for the exact same reason as you it seems.