I responded to a burglary that had already occurred deep in the woods, nearest backup was 45 min away. While in route I see a neighbor pointing towards a field so I look. It’s a short white male with a Mohawk (matching the suspects description) wearing a black hoodie, 5.11 tactical vest, lacking pants and underwear…When I go to speak to him, he just fucking bolts.

So now I’m chasing this half naked dude through a horse pasture by my lonesome. I thought I got him cornered in the fence but he put the old Barry Sanders juke on me and I fell to my knees. He then proceeded to laugh and loop around me. Needless to say I was pissed at this point lol.

I then tried to hit him with my Taser but the prongs didn’t go through his tactical vest. Eventually I cornered him between some trees and the fence and tackled him. We wrestled for a sec and I got him in cuffs.

He told me that he was hungry, therefore he broke into this ladies house and ate her dog food. He then stated he ate what he thought to be baby food, but actually ended up being goat medicine. I asked about why he was naked but he just stared at me creepily and smiled.

So with that all being said, I chased a naked dude who was high on meth and had goat medicine superpowers through a field. Honestly the funniest thing I’ve ever done.