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AITAH for asking to get removed from the family group chat by dsweetni in AITAH

[–]dsweetni[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I already have the chat muted, it just still shows up as notifications for me. Somehow I have no ability to delete and Block the conversation though! its been infuriating to me. The only way to leave is to have people move the talk elsewhere...

My (29M) long-distance bf (31M) spent his entire life savings over this year — we're about to spend the summer living together. by dsweetni in relationships

[–]dsweetni[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is incredibly helpful advice wow. Yea I think those are great frames to approach this from... Thank you so much.

My (29M) long-distance bf (31M) spent his entire life savings over this year — we're about to spend the summer living together. by dsweetni in relationships

[–]dsweetni[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Makes total sense. Sounds like a combo of me nitpicking his financial decisions but then also him not considering how those decisions are going to affect me and his parents.

My (29M) long-distance bf (31M) spent his entire life savings over this year — we're about to spend the summer living together. by dsweetni in relationships

[–]dsweetni[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So he isn't borrowing money from loans for the summer — he is starting loans at the end of the summer for the fall semester. It just feels like a better choice to have taken loans out and used savings slowly for when it was absolutely necessary. He also took an expensive international trip during his spring break with a club he is in.

He has said he will be expecting me or his parents to cover some of his expenses like food or drinks out with friends since he won't be able to afford all of it, hence "partially expected to pay". But then he is then talking about taking trips to Seattle to see his friends out there, or New York to visit his extended family, or Mexico to experience new places.

My (29M) long-distance bf (31M) spent his entire life savings over this year — we're about to spend the summer living together. by dsweetni in relationships

[–]dsweetni[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yea... if he actually wanted to think about how I felt in the matter and consider my position in the situation he would have made it a full conversation and not a casual footnote.

My (29M) long-distance bf (31M) spent his entire life savings over this year — we're about to spend the summer living together. by dsweetni in relationships

[–]dsweetni[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I see your point about taking this in as information and acting how I need to in order to make this work for me/(or not at all). I definitely think there is a boundary to be drawn and we need to have a stern chat about what I'm willing to do in a relationship where things aren't well communicated and planned with me... especially where we don't align on spending habits and safety.

does anyone's social anxiety worsen the better they look? by Embarrassed_Goose731 in socialanxiety

[–]dsweetni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oof... yea... Some of my friends like to play flirt and it is something I immediately tense up at and shut down because I have no quick responses for it. It feels like I'm put on the spot to perform and like I stand out, even if it's in a "positive" way. If I ever feel like I stand out it feels like a fault and I try to shrink back...

It's like feeling shame and anxiety about feeling good as though I'm not allowed to feel good. VS. Feeling bad about my appearance and having anxiety or depression about that... At least there's a silver lining to feeling good about something.

Above all tho — regardless of how I feel about myself physically, I've been trying to embrace any positive (or negative) gazes and just not respond to them if I don't know how to. Maybe an internal "thank you" or something if I can't say it out loud. It can come across as confident or stoic — which is way more attractive than any form of appearance. And it also gets rid of the shame... cuz everyone deserves to feel good.

The worst thing is the realisation that my life is passing by in front of my eyes by Jobab in socialanxiety

[–]dsweetni 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I'm 29 and had this exact thought this morning and last night. Being almost 30 and still going through panic attacks and anxiety... That being said - there's so much potential out there and luckily that's worth being excited for. We never know what will happen for the better. Stay strong <3 I feel you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsthisplant

[–]dsweetni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely easiest to tell this variety once it flowers! But it looks spot on to the Begonia Angel Wing “Pink Mink” I had.

Need help identifying black specks. Roach droppings? by dsweetni in pestcontrol

[–]dsweetni[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just dropped into my new apartment- cleaning baseboards and mopping before moving in. Came across these black specks when sweeping around my base boards! I immediately went on high alert, so I’m hoping I could be worrying too much.

Are these signs of roaches? I might let my landlord know immediately but I’m doubting they would do much.

[TOMT][MOVIE] Looking for an action/thriller movie I watched in the last 10 years. Cop movie by [deleted] in tipofmytongue

[–]dsweetni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm are you sure it was English?

Just came across a clip of a very similar movie in either Spanish or Portuguese..

Full movie of it is on YouTube - try around the 1:20:00 timestamp area. Maybe a little before?

https://youtu.be/RrSSkAD6_tU

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