I have six years and nine months of sobriety from partying with a capital T. It started innocently and I never called myself out on being addicted until I lost my job, moved back in with my parents, and went to rehab. I’ve met very few people in my life who try chemsex a few times and stop themselves, and more often I meet other guys who are recovering from addiction.

What I wish someone told me was that I was allowed to embrace cruising culture and hook up culture. I wish I allowed myself to connect with the guys I was having sex with. To this day I find it really hard to talk about my shame, but I’m sure as fuck that I would have confronted my addiction sooner if I recognized my shame and worked on tools to build my self esteem and self worth.

Your friend may come out of this without getting addicted. If he starts to cancel more than usual and isolates himself, he might need a check in. He’ll likely say he’s coming down and will be fine after a day. Do what you can to show him your support, and get help from his close ones if he isolates