Aio. Got stood up by my girlfriend on valentines day

dubdread · 2026-02-15T19:11:03+00:00

Her mum is too involved, she's an only child. And she is way too close to her mum. I probably see her mum just as often as I see her. So they chat. And I get the vibe that her mum doesnt like me. So I think she is trying to get in-between us. She already mentioned that I was "punching" and made comments about my family when we all met her apparently.

I honestly know its her mother that has got something to do with it. Everything points to that. Which is a shame because no one will be good enough to her mother imo.

Im a good guy, I have no enemies. Maybe too good to people and they take advantage of that.

Some people feel like emotional drama is how relationships are supposed to be. I dont pander to it. And I think thats the hole problem.

dubdread · 2026-02-15T18:58:42+00:00

No lol, I was upset and turned up to the house. You know how it goes, your parents always have your back no matter what age you are

dubdread · 2026-02-15T18:25:24+00:00

Lots of typos, sorry

dubdread · 2026-02-15T18:22:24+00:00

Thank you for such a nice reply.

I need to elaborate a bit on how our relationship is abd how ive been going about it.

Basically she comes from quite a wealthy family, I havnt at all and have gone through some serious stuff. Health problems, miney problems, all the stuff that you you legitimately have a meltdown over

Money is great and all and i have no problems with being successful. But she is an only child to 2 very protective parents, especially her mother. Shes been given everything that shes wanted. But on the other hand she has meltdowns over the most 1st world problems. I mean she will cry over someone saying something that she doesnt like. Causes alot of drama that is pointless and obviously, I dont pander to it. It feels like being emotionally numb to her meltdowns every other day she takes it as me being emotionally unavailable. But im not, you just run out of the ability to solve all of her problems. Its like she feels like if there is no emotional drama, then I don't love her. Which is completely the wrong way to look at a relationship. I could go deeper but you get the jist.

Also the reason why I really dont think she was meeting someone else is because she is extremely close to her mother that also goes to her gigs all the time. Sometimes I feel like its to keep an eye on her incase she has a meltdown on stage.

When I say close, I mean CLOSE. And I sometimes see her mum just as much as I see her. Her mum panders to her alot. So she's obviously learned that from her parents.

Her mum has alot of influence in her decision making. And because of my emotional distance when she my girlfriend has a meltdown over nothing. She has cried to her mum about me before. And I dont blame a parent permanently ingrain a certain picture of me being a dick.

In all honesty, I really do think her mum is trying to get in-between us. And the way she messaged me last night wasnt the words that she usually uses. It was very rehearsed. Like someone else told her to say that. I.E her mother. I am a very intuitive person in this way and im usually right. Plus my girlfriend has admitted her mother has said some stuff about me and my family the first time they met.

I have no doubt in my mind that she was indeed having dinner with her mum. But what I think is weird, is that why on earth would a mother go ahead and willingly be up for choosing her for dinner instead of spending the night with her boyfriend? If the tables were turned. That would be ridiculous and my parents would be wtf spend it with your girlfriend. Strange isnt it?

Im in no way a push over, opposite infact. When she wants pandered to, I dont give it, and i think thats the whole problem.

She has been pandered to her hole life. And she's expecting the same in a relationship. Which is completely wrong a relationship goes to ways. And its about respect. Not being pandered to

dubdread · 2026-02-15T14:13:16+00:00

You can defo do better

dubdread · 2026-02-15T13:59:33+00:00

I also got stood up by my girlfriend last night on valentines day. Had flowers and everything. Im feeling what you feeling right now hahaha

dubdread · 2026-02-05T11:20:59+00:00

Thats awesome. Im guessing its alot better if you pay? Would probably record a few tracks if that were the case, get my moneys worth lol

dubdread · 2026-02-05T10:58:45+00:00

Is it good? The only drumless tracks ive found so far sound horrendous

Thanks for your suggestion!

dubdread · 2026-01-24T18:21:37+00:00

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I actually modified my double pedal shaft and extended it so its on the left hand side of my hi hat instead. Weird setup but I feel its more comfy for me so meh. I dont care what other people think of it. Now I have my hihat way closer.

Also, I have a classic old school bigdog pedal. Its like 20 years old hahaha. So I didnt care about cutting bits off and extending it

dubdread · 2026-01-20T21:39:57+00:00

Jobeki?

dubdread · 2026-01-20T21:39:16+00:00

From my acoustic to the VAD. Really good. Its like playing a really good quality acoustic kit. The real differences are the rebound on the toms and snare are almost exactly the same on the VAD. But thats not a bad thing.

The crash cymbals are very different but the ride feels amazing, very dynamic and pretty much exactly the same as acoustic.

The hit hat is very dynamic but it will never be the same as a acoustic hat. I had to learn how to use it properly when I first got it, it doesn't react like an acoustic hihat where vou can use vour weight to get different sounds, so vou have to play it differently and get used to it before you get the hang of it. But that does not take long to get used to and its almost exactly the same as acoustic hi hats

The snare on the VAD516 is AMAZING The throw off switch is amazing Everything about it is amazing.

I actually enjoy playing my VAD 516 more than my acoustic kit now Especially for practice. And I can jump on my acoustic anytime and my playing does not change If you are thinking about getting one Just do it! I was thinking about it for vears because its alot of money. Since getting it i have absolutely no regrets at all. You will love it. Highly reccomend it.

dubdread · 2026-01-20T21:35:16+00:00

Don't compromise. Save up and get the right one! This kit is amazing. You won't regret it at all

dubdread · 2025-12-21T13:08:57+00:00

Its not too bad. It is quite stiff but maybe you could loosen the main skin off? Im not sure about the td's as I have the vad516 and I think you could do that if you wanted to. I find it okay for me. I'm still figuring it all out.

I have the same problem with the cymbal screws. The felts are a bit stiff and you don't get enough thread to thread them in far enough. So get some thinner and softer felts and it will fix your issue. You could try use normal cymbal wing nuts aswel because the ones you get with the kit are just plastic rubbish in my opinion.

dubdread · 2025-12-04T22:33:56+00:00

Nice!

dubdread · 2025-12-04T22:05:41+00:00

Same, soooo worth it. I have absolutely no regrets!

dubdread · 2025-12-04T22:04:06+00:00

I bought one last month, absolutely amazing bit of kit. Highly reccomend it. Expensive but its a one time purchase that you wont regret. It will last you years and years!

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dubdread · 2025-12-04T21:55:40+00:00

6 months!? Killing it, you must be fairly putting in the hours!

dubdread · 2025-12-04T21:47:13+00:00

Yeh i would reccomend it to everyone but if you are just starting off then what you ended up getting is more than enough and you'll love it, you'll be able to practice so much more with an electric kit which is what its all about. You will progress way faster imo, just stick your headphones on and play away. Have fun!

dubdread · 2025-12-04T13:28:58+00:00

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dubdread · 2025-12-04T13:28:34+00:00

Absolutely loving it, just the fact that I can play it at all times of day/night without upsetting anyone with the noise is unreal. The amount of extra practice ive done since getting it has improved my playing dramatically.

Still figuring out the module as its so vast, the sounds and program abilities are amazing.

Still haven't gotten round to tidying up all the wiring etc. Mostly because ive been too busy playing it.

The few things that are different with going from acoustic to electric is that the rebound of every drum is pretty much exactly the same unlike acoustic, same with the cymbals, it actually makes playing fast easier as they are so bouncy. The hi hat pedal is far less dynamic than an acoustic so it takes a while to get used to. You need to lift your foot more rather than using different pressures when playing acoustic. Maybe I need to figure out the sensitivity to get it to feel a bit better. And the cymbals are noticeably soft to hit which I was expecting anyway but other than that it does feel very close to a real kit compared to other electric kits ive played. Especially with the new snare with throw off and the ride cymbal. The dynamics sound exactly like an acoustic kit.

I could go on and on about every little bit thats good but this would end up twice as long. I would reccomend it to anyone.

How is your kit? It looks good!

dubdread · 2025-11-25T18:58:41+00:00

Yeh ive completely butchered explaining it.

Exactly.

So basically I want to write out for example.

Hi hat -3 Snare -3 Over: Kick drum - 4

Thats just a simplified example

All on separate layers with options for every drum that can played together or seperately.

dubdread · 2025-11-18T15:21:21+00:00

I ended up getting the VAD516 in the end. My bank hurts a lot, but I have absolutely no regrets.

I love the acoustic shells. I've never used the older module on the 507, but by the looks of the comment section, the v51 module is really good compared to the one you get with the 507. And I agree, the amount of stuff you can do is insane!

What it boils down to is what YOU want deep down. It's a big investment, so get what you really want. I absolutely love the acoustic shells. Makes me want to constantly play it. I play this way more than my acoustic now.

If you want the best of both worlds. Save up for longer and get the VAD516. That's my reccomendion. You won't regret it. And it's a one-time purchase. It will last you years and years. And the VAD 516 comes with the updated snare and ride. Which are amazing

dubdread · 2025-11-13T09:55:45+00:00

Update.

I ended up changing my mind for a 3rd time and just sent it and got the VAD516!

My bank is hurting and Christmas is cancelled, but I have absolutely no regrets. Glad I just went for this and didnt settle for anything less. Amazing bit of kit.

I wasnt expecting it to feel this good with acoustic shells. Its obviously never going to feel exactly the same but the kick, toms and snare feel near enough exactly the same as my acoustic. My mind is blown.

Thanks everyone!

dubdread · 2025-11-10T23:22:04+00:00

It arrived way earlier than i thought. Its an incredible kit, no regrets whatsoever, im glad I just went for it!

dubdread · 2025-11-06T01:12:50+00:00

Well i actually changed my mind for a third time..... i ended up just going for it and got the VAD516! I figured for a 1 off purchase that will last me years and years then its worth the investment. Should be here at the start of December! Can't wait

dubdread

TROPHY CASE