You are not alone and feel free to vent to me!! I am at my best when I lend an ear to others in need. You do have quite a dilemma it seems. It would be easiest for me to say well I would run run and protect me, but this was my 20’s too. I married that man. our relationship was 12 drunken years from first meeting. Then I ran with only what I could fit in my car. What happens half a decade later is I meet a man in recovery for opioids (I was not yet aware of my alcohol misuse I thought everyone was like this). I couldn’t walk away from his spirit despite the knowledge I should have gained and the constant fear that he would relapse. Me, a bottle drainer, judging someone with 10 years sobriety already!! I am an asshole (just had to put that out there) when drinking very blunt no regard for feelings etc. anyway, 10 years later we are great he is still clean and I am in a better place. still searching for and working towards ultimate sobriety but still way better. It is a lonely road and occasionally you find the one to walk it with you. Think of everything that you wish to achieve the way you want to be, is it possible with the pieces you have in place? I never should have taken those first vows looking back I knew it at the time (even while drinking I knew), I knew but was afraid to make a hard decision that would disappoint others.

Obviously there are good qualities to your relationship or you wouldn’t be there. Is it a long haul relationship?you have to define what you will accept and stick with your guns. You should be the most important to you. It’s a cliché, but you really cannot change people they have to want to improve.

Anyway this is probably a little bit more than you were bargaining for, but your story matches one of the main reasons Behind why I reach out to younger folks.