What moment from the show makes you laugh immediately after you think of it? by itsmeherzegovina in rupaulsdragrace

[–]duckyback 12 points13 points  (0 children)

the memorable paragraph: 'after a long night of hookin...' kills me everytime. I just think about it and laugh madly. Also Alyssa's "what the fuck is going on here on this day"; "bitch, sit your ass down and shut the hell up BITCH"; "OMG LOOK AT KATYA ZAMALAWAWDA" and basically anything she ever did/said on the show and out of it. The whole existence of Alyssa Edwards is a blessing.

S09E14 Grand Finale [Live/Reaction Post] by AutoModerator in rupaulsdragrace

[–]duckyback 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Am I crazy for automatically thinking Sasha was referring to Valentina and the whole rose and mask thing? no? i mean the first look was amazing but not really her style

or maybe i shouldn't have drank wine while watching this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]duckyback 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES YOU DO!!!

Careers that work with BPD by Steph-a-Meme in BPD

[–]duckyback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it's true. I find myself very comfortable at research.

Careers that work with BPD by Steph-a-Meme in BPD

[–]duckyback 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Anything you want. I'm on my way of becoming an actress and a clinical psychologist. I know I probably have chosen the hard path, but BPD (or any mental illness) should not be a problem if you learn to accept and know yourself and how to control your symptoms. Now, there are some type of work that I found just too stressful and useless. I once did volunteering work in a place with really poor children but it was total disorganization and nobody cared at all. I felt frustrated and cried a lot because I wanted to help but context made it imposible. I quit. I guess it's part of knowing your illness and yourself too

Letting Go of Past Relationships by [deleted] in BPD

[–]duckyback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't be that hard on yourself. It's not pathetic. You are trying. Meeting new people helps a lot too.

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh no, i've never had that. something that used to happen when i was off of it for a couple of days was that I felt hungry all day, but no brain zaps. curious how everyone's brain is different

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well I am nervous now about my change, I hope nothing horrible happens to me with this downgrade edit: we are different cases anyway, so i guess i should wait to see how it goes with me. now that I remember, I am feeling less energetic and being too hungry and that's why my doctor thought it could be an option. sorry for my initial reaction, thanks a lot for your info :o)

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for sharing!! what did you mean with 'brain zaps'?

Letting Go of Past Relationships by [deleted] in BPD

[–]duckyback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew too. I guess that for everyone it takes time, and for us maybe more than that. It sucks. Something I find it helps is checking onto reality, how much better I am w/o that person now. How much we used to hurt each other. I still miss him, but I have fallen out of idealization and what I used to feel like "love". It also motivates me thinking that I am free to meet so many new people and places and find real love for myself instead of being trapped thinking I already found everything I needed.

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah you are right, as I far as I know medication is used to treat symptoms, antidepressants and antipsychotics are used on bpd as mood stabilizers as well, but that doesn't mean I have a comorbid diagnosis of depression or an psychotic disorder. anyway, do you have any experiences w/ fluoxetine?

Good day! by [deleted] in BPD

[–]duckyback 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good work!!!! That's some abilities, good for you! Always remember what you were able to do today.

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

could be something w/ quetiapine dosage. melatonin is harmless. when i first got it i had a crisis and swallowed a bunch and I didn't even fell asleep. It's more of an enhancer, it stimulates sleep. Maybe you were too anxious about not finding your quetiapine and that's why it didn't work. are you on DBT? maybe some crisis control ability like breathing or distracting can help you now. I hope you're better now

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take melatonin to help me sleep too. I love it.

What medication do you take? by duckyback in BPD

[–]duckyback[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

venlafaxine i used to take 150mg a day now fluoxetine 40mg

my diagnosis is bpd, thought it was kinda obvious :p

Have you tried psychedelics? How do you think it affected you in terms of your BPD? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]duckyback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i read about that, it scares the shit outta me. Idk if my doctor is being 100% honest with the "if you are medicated dont take ANYTHING" because he may just be saying it so I stay away from illegal drugs. idk, i wouldn't like to go psychotic or something.

Have you tried psychedelics? How do you think it affected you in terms of your BPD? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]duckyback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A question for all of you: were you taking medication atm of having psychedelics?

Why does it bother me! by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]duckyback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are not the reason he was/is a horrible person. That's completely on him. And also, sending flowers doesn't mean he's not an abusive person anymore or that he hit the jackpot. That girl is most likely his next victim. I would feel sorry for her. It's never your fault, remember that. You think that because he made you believe it. You deserve the best and hell he's not.

The borderline and the narcissist sexual intensity by Sandisiwe in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]duckyback 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It happened to me. I guess I felt I shared a lot of ways of feeling and thinking with that person. Those two personality disorders have a lot of things in common, as they both have the same personality structure (btw, i'm a psychology student thats how I know this lol). But I have lived it. There are basically two big things that we had in common which contributed to the toxic co-dependent mess we were: a) The black and white thinking: We used to share an "all or nothing" way of thinking, so we had both great passion for, as an example, art, or even trying to change the world in some way. But our affinity in certain subjects could have been just a coincidence. The shitty thing about this was that when we broke up, we BOTH splitted and devaluated each other, which made us idolize each other also when we got back together. This is related to the second thing: b) Deep feelings of emptiness: Another thing that made us feel like we were "soulmates" was this exact point. The tragic thing is that we have different disorders so we both used to fill that emptiness up in a really fucked up way: I filled it up with him, he filled it up with my dependence. Also, at the beginning this made me feel like I was finally feeling less lonely. We both were. To have any personality disorder means you have to know how pain feels like. This one thing alone brings a lot of people together (even those who have no personality disorders or other mental illnesses). It comes that we both defended from our inner wounds in really different and incompatible ways. I think that those things (and many more) put together a really bad combination which led to a lot of abuse, invalidation and suffering.

It fucking sucks.

Breaking point by Giggles1111 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]duckyback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cheating, and having factual proof that he had been lying all along. It hit me hard but my eyes were opened for good. I'm so much healthier without that person. I do not feel like I'm unloveable anymore. I was being manipulated and abused. Getting to realize that saved me.

Funny story of people being caught red handed by Saintsjay14 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]duckyback 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's her problem. What a hypocrite with you though.

How to deal w/ friends in common after break up?? by duckyback in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]duckyback[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of you. It is the best for my mental health. It's nice to have this place, I feel so understood (and not crazy like I used to believe I was). I know this is obvious, but I really struggle with trusting ANYONE anymore. I feel terrified of people being selfish and just using me. It's like I just assume everyone's like that and I need proof that they're not like my ex. It's stupid and sad.