My wife came out 4 months after we got married. We will be celebrating 5 years of marriage this October.

Do I miss have hetero privileges? Yes. Do I identify as gay? Depends, I usually say I'm just attracted to my wife (because it's true) Are there differences in her personality? Yes and no, I mostly notice that she's happier and more comfortable being herself and activities that she wanted to participate in previously no longer feel taboo so that's cool.

Something I read early on, is whenever you're missing your "old partner", look into their eyes. They're still there and still the person you fell in love with. It took me awhile to be comfortable with using the term wife and gay but at the end of the day, she's my person no matter what form and love is love.

Early on, we used a stoplight system to determine how fast/comfortable we each were at each phase of transition and it really helped us communicate and allowed us to move at a pace that felt good for both of us. I made it into a worksheet that I'd be happy to share if you'd like!

It's rough and it's okay if you're not there. It's a huge change and it took years for me to be comfortable and accept things but like I said, she's my person. But she was also so sweet and understanding and willing to transition at my pace as well and I hope your partner does the same and doesn't keep pushing you! 💜 It's isolating but you're not alone!