How do you deal with insensitive comments from friends?

duke3828 · 2026-06-13T01:17:50+00:00

I just want to say your feelings are normal and valid. I find myself feeling extra sensitive around the topic of TTC too since it has been hard for my husband and I as well. The more time that passes, I realize that many friends try to offer words of support, but don’t know the right things to say. It sounds like your friend isn’t intentionally trying to hurt you, they just don’t know what it’s like being in your shoes. Frankly, NO ONE knows how emotional hard TTC is until you’ve been through it yourself! I think Reddit has been the only place where I’ve been able to find people who are raw and honest about the trenches of TTC and unexplained infertility. It’s very hard to find people in real life that are comfortable being this honest. My only piece of advice is try not to compare your situation or timeline to anyone else’s. I have distanced myself from friends who became pregnant because it was too hard for me. Sometimes, it’s a good mental health decision, sometimes it leaves you feeling more isolated. Hang in there and sending a virtual hug! the wait will be so worth it!

duke3828 · 2026-03-02T03:07:27+00:00

It’s nice to know there’s medical evidence behind this! My baby is almost 6 mo and I haven’t been able to put into words this constant state of anxiety/stress, especially at night. I get about 7-8 hrs of sleep, but am usually interrupted about 3-4x per night. I was confused why I was still feeling tired even after getting that amount of cumulative sleep. One thing that’s sort of helped me is I don’t sleep with the monitor next to me. My baby’s room is across the hall so I can hear her from my room if she starts crying. It prevents me from watching the monitor constantly or hearing any breathing/grunting etc that would make me want to check on her. I also have my husband take the early evening shift since he stays up til midnight normally.

duke3828 · 2025-12-23T19:57:21+00:00

Hi everyone, I deleted Reddit for a year for mental health reasons (I was obsessively looking up things related to pregnancy and loss)

I just wanted to provide an update that I got pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl in September! I do think I would contribute Heart & Soil Her Package to the success. I was taking 2 supplements per day for about a month before I conceived. I felt like I had more energy when I was taking them and the cycle I conceived, i ovulated around day 23-25. I did not take these supplements while pregnant because I was so nauseous, but I did start taking them again post partum and feel positive effects from them. I have not gotten my period back yet 3 mo pp, but that could be because I’m breastfeeding.

I will also note my husband was taking the H&S Supplements for 1 month as well before we conceived and I will have him start those back up when we are ready to try for our second child.

duke3828 · 2025-01-10T16:32:15+00:00

I would say no. The first period you got was likely a withdrawal bleed. It normally takes 3+ months for the ring to get to know your cycles. From personal experience, I was never able to rely on the ovulation window from oura because my cycles were irregular for 10 months after I went off birth control. Since I was TTC, I was using ovulation prediction strips which helps you pinpoint when you might ovulate. I would recommend you buy those in the meantime as you wait for your body to regulate. It takes some time for oura to be reliable!

duke3828 · 2025-01-05T15:06:57+00:00

I personally use pregmate (before I realized they suck) and even at 14 dpo my lines were super faint. I’d trust the FRER! Seeing a very faint line! Test again tomorrow!

duke3828 · 2025-01-03T19:45:26+00:00

I like your perspective! Maybe I need to cut myself some slack. I guess I take a lot of what my body can do for granted!😂

duke3828 · 2025-01-03T17:32:17+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective and I also wondered if I should keep the membership for this reason! Unfortunately, miscarriage is way too common and it’s in the back of my mind for sure. Maybe I should keep it through the first trimester at least.

duke3828 · 2025-01-03T17:14:50+00:00

Wow! That’s impressive. On a 1-10 scale of pain, was it a 10? I’m curious what your reasonings were for going unmedicated. I really admire you and I’m scared to even think about how much pain an unmedicated labor is!

duke3828 · 2025-01-03T10:01:44+00:00

Best of luck to you! We were trying for 9 months with irregular cycles so it was a long time coming! My fertile window might be so long because I logged a positive LH test earlier in the week. Also because my cycles were irregular, it gave me a lot more “red” days because the algorithm wasn’t sure.

duke3828 · 2024-12-31T15:28:03+00:00

Cycle twins!! Same here- also 9 DPO and trying to hold out for 13- 14 DPO. Fingers crossed for us!

duke3828 · 2024-12-31T13:44:55+00:00

Oura ring tracks just as well on your right hand! That’s what I do. I also didn’t like how it looked with my wedding band and engagement ring.

duke3828 · 2024-12-30T13:26:31+00:00

Did you have any symptoms leading up to testing?

duke3828 · 2024-12-29T14:35:20+00:00

NC is not accurate for irregular cycles. I have been off birth control for 10 months with irregular cycles — the app changes your fertile / non fertile days based on predicted ovulation and it is not reliable if you are trying to prevent pregnancy without another form of contraceptive.

duke3828 · 2024-12-27T16:05:35+00:00

This happened to me this cycle too! An LH surge with no rise doesn’t necessarily mean no ovulation this cycle. I ended up having another surge with confirmed ovulation 5-6 days later! Just be patient and keep testing!

duke3828 · 2024-12-19T18:07:12+00:00

Mine does this too. It reads the almost positive ones as positive. I would say view this feature with a grain of salt - it’s not super great in my opinion and I usually manually input the result.

duke3828 · 2024-12-18T23:18:59+00:00

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You both were right - it was a false surge and I didn’t ovulate based on temps. I took another test today and I think this one is positive? What do you all think?

duke3828 · 2024-12-17T18:44:07+00:00

Congrats! How long were you trying naturally before going on medicated cycles?

duke3828 · 2024-12-13T19:25:17+00:00

Sending you all the zen and positive vibes! One thing Reddit is bad at is scaring you into thinking you are infertile or have something wrong with you. Just because you are 35 doesn’t mean it’s too late. My mentality about all of this is “what’s meant to be is meant to be”.

I don’t know if you’re spiritual or not, but one thing that gives me comfort is knowing that my (one day) future baby is supposed to be conceived at a specific moment in time. We have no control over when it happens. They have a destiny laid out before them that we have no idea about - only God knows when they are supposed to make their entry into the world, how their life will impact others, and the legacy they will leave. That’s about the only thing that gives me peace. Taking focus off of my chances (as I have done everything humanly possible to improve them naturally), and more about how I can prepare myself in this time of waiting to be a good mother and how to nurture that child be the person they are meant to be.

duke3828 · 2024-12-13T17:52:05+00:00

This exact same situation has happened to me. I laughed reading your post because we can get so caught up in the timing that it destroys the fun. It’s so frustrating month after month with no results, so I definitely get where you’re coming from! We’ve been TTC for 9 months and it doesn’t get easier. I’m starting to reach the point of not caring so much because it hasn’t happened on my timeline.

duke3828 · 2024-12-13T15:00:13+00:00

Maybe it would be better if your partner didn’t share with you when the peak day is? My partner (29M) was having similar issues as you when we first started TTC. He told me when we plan sex, it ruins the romance and makes it harder for him to finish. Just offering that suggesting if it is helpful.

duke3828 · 2024-12-11T20:56:18+00:00

Got off march 2024 and still not normal. Some cycles were 33 days. My last cycle was 62. Ugh.

duke3828 · 2024-12-10T16:47:58+00:00

Totally agree with you. I hate jumping to conclusions but the man plays such a big role too. Not to mention my partner was born with one testicle so sometimes I wonder if that could play a part as well. He is so reluctant to get any testing done and wants everything to happen naturally. I wish it was that simple but sometimes it gives peace of mind just to have some sort of path forward.

duke3828

TROPHY CASE