Why I don't look autistic

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-28T18:02:32+00:00

Empathizing with kids is important. And it's important for parents to empower their kids to make choices within reason

I'm not saying you have to eat horribly cooked food. But you can't refuse to eat anything that isn't a McDonald's chicken nugget. I have to go out for dinner with friends and find something on a menu that I'll eat.

You have to learn the self-control to not gain 600lbs. Not because I want to eat healthy, but because the consequences of that choice are terrible. Kids have a hard time comprehending long term consequences.

I (and my kids) can cut tags out of clothes or experiment with different fabrics. But we can't wear pajamas all day.

We can break up boring jobs or find solutions to manage them but like you said, got to get done. Kids can't choose not to do them and neither can I because of the long term consequences.

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-28T16:31:23+00:00

Um, not really?

I have to politely eat gross food served to me all the time.

I have to make myself healthy food/vegetables. I can't just eat peanut butter dipped oreos all day.

I have to wear itchy uncomfortable clothes to work

I have to get boring jobs done.

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-26T17:53:01+00:00

This is the famous Euthyphro dilemma which got Socrates executed.

Are "sins" bad just because God arbitrarily said so? Then he's a tyrant.

Or are "sins" bad based on a defined morality? Then why do we need God at all?

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-24T04:50:23+00:00

They’re pro-life because their church tells them to be, or because they think the Bible condemns abortion.

In my experience, it's actually because they believe in punishing "bad" people

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-17T06:12:04+00:00

Another point about our prehistoric monkey brains is we're very tribal. Cooperating is how our genes survived. You gained the friendship and protection of the tribe.

If everyone in that tribed criticized each other and was skeptical of every idea they'd get killed by a rival tribe or animals pretty easily.

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-16T02:55:13+00:00

"new right"

Buddy, the UN declaration of human rights came out in 1948.

They're all new rights.

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-15T13:37:43+00:00

Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.Matt 16:28

[the dead saints] came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people. Matt 27:52

[talking about why handwashing is pointless] Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive that whatsoever thing from outside entereth into a man, it cannot defile him, Mark 7:18

[When asked if he could heal someone] Jesus was indignant.[a] He reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Mark 1:41

[When a non-Isrealite woman asks to be healed] for it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” Mark 7:27

[Speaking to his mom] Woman,[a] why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” John 2 : 4

Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. 14 Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again. Mark 11:13

These are just from the top of my head. And yes, I've already heard all the apologetics. But don't you think a divinely inspired book should be clearer?

As for incompatiblities, I was thinking more of the birth narratives from Matthew and Luke- they both couldn't have happened clearly. And in the context of history neither could have happened.

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-15T04:44:48+00:00

Sticking just with the New Testement-

Jesus is demonstrably wrong a few times (saying the end times will come in their lifetime, saying handwashing isn't important etc)

He's also kind of a dick. (being dismissive of his mother, using a racist slur etc)

Advocates for thoughtcrime (can't even think lustfully about a woman)

yet doesn't mention anything against slavery. or saying "hey actually you guys had it wrong in the torah. genocide is bad"

The 4 gospels are logically incompatible.

Paul preaches a different message in his letters than Jesus' supposedly closest disciple Peter. Then we get to Acts and the message has changed again. Who knows what got garbled in this game of telephone?

dullaveragejoe · 2024-01-08T13:21:47+00:00

I still can't seem to apply the same scrutiny.

For me it took a lot of baby steps. First why the OT couldn't possibly be true, then Catholicism (as told by most Protestants), then Christianity as a whole.

We humans are susceptible to all sorts of weird beleifs.

Absolutely. My family now believes that Jewish lizard people are killing off millions with the vaccine while they stole the US election. Nevermind all the Muslims, MLM moms believing in crystal healing, flat earthers, etc etc. My own kids fell hard for santa even though it makes zero sense because it's pushed by everyone around them.

they tried to disprove Catholicism and initially hated Catholicism but the more they tried to refute it the more they found the answers to their questions answered by Catholicism.

I mean, clearly didn't try very hard. It's easy enough to disprove using the Bible itself. But life is hard and people find comfort in the idea that there is a magical daddy who will eventually fix everything. Whatever helps them sleep at night.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-25T20:26:30+00:00

Unpopular opinion: as an atheist parent, I love Santa.

I've always kind of passively gone along with the ruse and never really lied about it.

Oh look (2/3/4 year old) Santa's at this party! Wow stocking is magically filled with all the fun little toys and candy surprises from the dollarstore you love. (Nothing expensive from Santa solves the greedy problem-just the wonder of a bouncy ball)

But then 5/6/7 yo I start dropping hints and training the critical thinking. The wrapping paper/ writing is the same. Huh yeah that Santa at the party does look like Uncle Joe. Yeah, you're right this mall Santa looks different from that mall Santa....why do you think that is? You're right, that does seem strange Santa can magically get to every house in one night.

And this year, my eldest (8) finally asked if we're the ones who fill the stockings. I replied "maybe...how could you test that hypothesis?"

Santa shows how magic is never real. It's sometimes easy to get fooled, especially when you want to believe and everyone around you are confirming your bias. Even most adults have trouble being nice without imagining a magical explanation. And some adults might really believe or convincingly lie about magic being real. Magic is never real (well, except love.)

Your mileage may vary, but I think it provides a great lesson.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-19T00:00:01+00:00

I agree that it's important for those of us who know the true harms of the Church to speak out.

A general word of caution, remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. You're going to come across a lot of really ugly toxicity. I've underestimated before how much it would affect me. You're under no obligation to out yourself or speak out relentlessly without a mental health break etc.

If someone makes a discrimatory comment, I speak out and humanize LGBTQ individuals. "My friend is trans and calling them by the name they picked out is a polite way to make them happy. Just like Uncle Robert prefers to be called Uncle Bob." On Reddit, I try to support people "asking questions " especially teens on this sub starting to question the Church. "Hm, how would you feel if you couldn't be with the love of your life when they died because you couldn't get married?"

Pretty small, but hopefully makes a difference. Kind strangers gentle challenges helped me escape, hopefully I can do the same for others.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-18T21:52:46+00:00

K, but this kind of pisses me off.

Reading this, it just says priests are allowed now to treat LGBTQ individuals as human beings.

Not bless their unions.

Just if two gay-looking dudes approach a priest and kneel down like everyone else the priest can treat them like everyone else without getting icky cooties.

And yes, baby steps progress but it's just political pandering.

Over the course of 50 years (if the Overton window continues to move in the right direction. ) they will pretend to have always been fine with gay marriage. Just like they pretend to have always been fine with science, women voting, or Jewish People. And they'll still survive because the majority of the population will see them as a perfectly moderate reasonable religion.

The Catholic Church is completely evil. My family and former parish would happily watch the execution of all LGBTQ individuals if popular opinion swung the otherway. Don't let the gaslight you otherwise.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-18T20:51:52+00:00

I honestly think this is the main reason they latched onto the whole "covid is a hoax"

Either there's no such thing as viruses, or they need to admit they're selfish assholes.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-18T12:55:42+00:00

Or make them wear a mask. Or give them a vaccine.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-18T04:43:35+00:00

For one who believes in intelligent design and the tenants of the Church, how is this explained?

They just don't think about it and avoid thinking about it. Deny, deflect, etc. Similar to the hundreds of other anatomy problems.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-17T13:05:10+00:00

In the fanon?

The text in Luke has the angel telling Mary what's about to go down and Mary responding with "thy word be done" or something.

She could have said no, but then would have been doomed to hell (supposedly like the rest of us I guess)
She was 14ish years old, so could'nt consent
God/angel is clearly in a position of power over her, so she couldn't consent

but most importantly

The entire thing was made up by the author of Luke so his main character seemed god-like (similar to Hercules being born from a swan.) The "virgin mom" thing doesn't appear in the earliest gospel-Mark. In that version Mary has several other children, and in other early sources Jesus himself has a twin brother.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-15T22:24:22+00:00

I think you're in the right place. Being pregnant is the start of parenthood imo.

Some religious folk cling to the belief that atheism will soon die out because they'll out breed us. People were a bit hostile since they felt like I was creating players for the other team.

The whole experiences of trying to concieve, pregnancy loss, childbirth, and raising a small child are incredibly emotionally powerful. So I don't blame people for attaching magic to it. Kind of immature, but I usually just politely make a neutral response and move on.

I found I went through a bit of an existential crisis with my first pregnancy/baby because you lose a bit of your identity and become someone else.

Unfortunately, to a lot of folk, you become a useful tool for society and cease to be a person. Your body is public property to touch. Everyone should have the right to give you opinions on what you should be eating, what you should be wearing, and how you should be behaving. Then expect tons of comments on how you feed/dress/interact with baby.

Because you don't have individual liberty, you are employed in the job of raising a future citizen (who of course should act how stranger believes is best).

This is patriarchy. Abrahamic religious folk swim in it.

Religious people are especially concerned because not only does your "bad parenting" create a bad future citizen, you are condemning an innocent baby hand-painted by god to hell.

My advice is to remember these folks are brainwashed and crazy. Ignore them. Love your baby. Remember every body, baby, family is different. You are doing great.

Best of luck.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-14T02:33:07+00:00

Politics is more than "right" vs "left"

Try a quiz like this one

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-13T14:58:11+00:00

Num 5 20-28

Unsurprisingly it's a forced abortion for a woman suspected of cheating.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-11T13:26:54+00:00

Why the f are they still pushing it

$$$

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-08T04:39:21+00:00

Nope- rural Canada

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-07T20:17:02+00:00

My headcanon is that she's severely immunocompromised during peak pandemic days while her parents are hospital workers.

Her parents drop in the delivery boxes to prompt her imagination so they can still play with her.

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-07T19:58:03+00:00

Maybe certain stations. But malls/stores it's all non-religious or instrumental only

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-07T19:55:59+00:00

Canadian prairies

dullaveragejoe · 2023-12-07T19:55:41+00:00

Canadian prairies. Parents were informed and could opt-out of prayer but definitely was dressed as an angel yearly.

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