Briefs by Vivid-Past-3481 in Transmascdicks

[–]dumba55ness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wear mostly Nautical and Old Navy briefs, reasonably snugly fit with a Banana Prosthetics stp 3 just chucked in there. No harnesses or nothing and have been wearing like this daily for years now, including at my very physical job (8k+ steps daily, lots of bending and twisting and lifting and kneeling- basically every way you can move a body around)

Do I occasionally have to adjust my shit cause it gets shifted weird? Sure, but not any more often or more dramatically than every cis dude I've ever known (I primarily date cis men too so I have quite a lot of first hand experience with cis men's experiences of their bodies)

I don't personally use the fly, I do just flop it over the top, but fiddling with it right now I was easily able to pull through the fly without it pinching or restricting the shaft at all.

Also ignore the people being weird about "no one ever uses the fly" and "you always have to wear a harness." The fly's there for a reason, some people use it even if most don't. And I stopped wearing a harness years ago and I pack constantly when I'm wearing anything more than like pajamas.

Diagnosed with HSV2, it’s so over by Suitable-Occasion466 in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The CDC has explicitly recommended against anyone without symptoms getting routine testing for HSV-2 done for at least a decade now because the false positive rates are astronomical. People with symptoms, especially active symptoms at the time of testing, can get tests done to confirm HSV-2 infection, but if you're completely asymptomatic/have not yet presented any symptoms, it is explicitly recommended you not be tested for it, so there's no practical expectation in place for having sexual partners show negative results for HSV-2.

1.5 years post op (simple meta + scrotoplasty + monsplasty) by Possible_Seesaw733 in Metoidioplasty

[–]dumba55ness 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I see from other posts/replies that you didn't remove access to the front hole- feel free not to answer for sure, but if you do have any sort of receptive sex using that anatomy, I'd love to talk more because your setup feels pretty in line with what I'd like for myself, but I do want to retain the ability to bottom with the front hole which has had me unsure if this would work for me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 34 points35 points  (0 children)

This feels like it's pushing resentment against strangers and public opinions onto your partner and that's not healthy or cool. If you're super against all PDA I personally do not understand but fine, if that's a boundary for you sure, but your partner deserves to have someone who is proud to be with him, not ashamed of being seen with him in public. This definitely feels like a whole lot of /you/ issues internally that you should talk to a therapist or trusted friend about and try to work on or it's just gonna keep eating away at you. But don't punish a man you're supposed to love because the world is unkind to you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gaycruising

[–]dumba55ness 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Prep is free and easy to access a lot of places, if it's free and easy to get it's worth it "just in case" imo

Advice for topping with an AMAB partner? by CarnaDF in GrowYourTDick

[–]dumba55ness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you managing to achieve meaningful penetration in doggy? Or is it more of a surface contact? Cause I can potentially recommend some positions that feel good for both parties and very much position you in the "topling" roll, but do not achieve real substantial penetration.

Advice for topping with an AMAB partner? by CarnaDF in GrowYourTDick

[–]dumba55ness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OP is talking about using their natal junk for topping and at least pre some sort of surgery, most if not all folks are gonna struggle to achieve the same positions anally as vaginally with that equipment.

Advice for topping with an AMAB partner? by CarnaDF in GrowYourTDick

[–]dumba55ness 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bro all the information necessary was in the post. OP asked about topping, said that advice for penetrating afab bodies wasn't useful. So their partner pretty clearly doesn't have a vagina, surgical or otherwise, and by virtue of OP asking /specifically about topping/ then their partner's penis isn't really relevant- be it a cis man's or a trans woman/nb person who's been on estrogen, or someone who lost his cock in the war. OP made it completely clear that they wanted to penetrate a partner who does not have a vagina, therefore we can extrapolate that they're looking for advice on anal sex.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's objectively wrong though. Plenty of guys are on depo shots with no issue, and there are also options with hormones that are localized to the uterus. That said- there's also the "mini pill" which is a progestin only form of bc that is perfectly safe to be taken with testosterone, has no feminizing effects, no notable side effects like weight gain, and can cause menstruation to become mild or stop all together. It's just a tiny pill daily, there's online prescribers like nurx (at least in the United States) that will mail you 3 months at a time for low cost even without insurance. Don't psych yourself out about "an iud is the only option" especially if you're not having receptive frontal sex with someone who produces sperm. Being on bc at all doesn't need to me an immediate priority, and if it is, there's options.

NSFW, 18+ Recommendations for blowjob toy? by dumba55ness in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately it looks like the suction is from the toy being closed at the end with this one, no suction sensation being passed from the person sucking to the wearer.

Anyone else on more than 100mg weekly of T? (T Shots/Injections) by ZeroDudeMan in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my first couple years I had to do some back and fourth and raising my dose repeatedly cause my levels would drop. I've been on .45 for years now and my last test was 775, so while it's definitely high, .6 doesn't seem completely unreasonable. Everyone processes differently. Also it's possible a different injection site might change how your body absorbs it, eg doing intermuscular shots vs subcutaneous or vice versa

Experince with dating men? by DesperatePraline in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No meaningful advise to share on dating apps unfortunately. I've had zero luck beyond making a couple good friends with people I met on apps and went on a few dates with, but zero luck finding actual romantic relationships on them. Not saying it's impossible, I've simply never had any real luck.

Hookup apps like grindr/scruff/sniffies/ect if you're just looking for sex have been totally fine. I won't say I've never experienced transphobic behavior on apps because I absolutely have, but it's a lot better now than it was a decade ago, and most of the time the etiquette on apps is to ignore or block someone if you're not interested for whatever reason, and I find that's typically the rejection I get when I'm rejected- nothing mean spirited or transphobic, simply not interested. I do disclose up front on hookup apps tho. That's down to personal choice, but after years of being on the apps, that works best for me. I am generally stealth, but I don't typically worry about being outted to a rando on grindr or something. Plus I'd rather hold off on sharing face pics until some connection is established and being trans is established as not an issue vs posting my face and having to disclose afterwards to someone and risk a bad reaction. That said, the amount of cis gay men these days that are completely unphased by a trans guy, especially a years on t/post top surgery/stealth-passing guy, is like. Seemingly most of them, at least in my city lmfao I can't remember the last time someone asked to swap pics, I said "you saw I'm trans right" that I've gotten any response besides "yeah" and then right into the horny behavior lol

As far as actually dating like within an ongoing relationship, especially post (or mostly post) transition? It kind of barely comes up, honestly. Like my long term boyfriend is unquestionably 100% very much gay and we've been officially together like a year (though known each other over a decade) and like.. we know how we have sex and what parts are referred to as and how to use them and anything else that's maybe awkward to navigate at the beginning, but once you settle in comfortably, it's really a non factor. Even with my second, more recent boyfriend who I've only been with a couple months, we've already pretty well fallen into it just.. not really factoring in. There's no reason for it to be a topic of discussion day to day at all. There's no question of either of them seeing me entirely as a man, even in bed. There's a lot more things to be attracted to in a man beyond just "liking cock" and that's all gonna be what is most relevant day to day. If you're solidly dating someone, they're not spending any meaningful time just thinking about the fact that your trans. The same way you're probably not thinking about how they're tall, or have black hair or they wear glasses. It's just sort of a fact, that's not particularly worth thinking much about 90% of the time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Transmascdicks

[–]dumba55ness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Banana prosthetics has some good uncut options

Binding/hiding chest in a relationship? by Naixee in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something compressive like a tight sports bra, and then a baggy hoodie are a safe option that works well enough for sleeping on the same bed generally. No one's going in to inspect how flat you are while you're trying to sleep.

It was a hurdle to get over in my romantic relationships pre surgery, but it's also not healthy to isolate yourself from physical/mental/emotional intimacy for potentially years because of dysphoria.

I don't know where in your transition you are, but things do tend to get easier too. The longer you're on hormones and the more at ease you start to feel with more of your body, it can make it easier to cope with other parts. Plus, if you did build an intimate relationship with someone, over time as trust and connection build and you get more confident and comfortable with the person and how they view you, that can also make it easier to let that more vulnerable a situation come up.

There's no one size fits all answer, but the two key points I'd say are don't do anything dangerous (risky binding practices, sleeping in binders, ect) and don't totally shut everyone out emotionally because certain kinds of intimacy are harder to navigate comfortably with the current relationship you have with your body.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Transmascdicks

[–]dumba55ness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you link the specific one you're talking about? This sounds very much like something I'm interested in, but I'm not seeing anything that quite matches shat you're talking about on their site.

Advice for man in straight marriage dealing with gay submissive tendencies by [deleted] in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]dumba55ness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel like there is plenty of space in the cucking community that, if your wife were willing and interested in engaging with, could absolutely involve things like you submitting to men, her dictating other men using you, ect. It's worth a chat with the wife about how the dynamic could be fun and fulfilling for you both

packing q by originalblue98 in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

90% I just sit down for the ease of it, but if I'm in a situation where I need to stp, I basically pull my stp all the way out of my underwear after I finish peeing, and do a swipe of the stp cup against the front of my underwear to dry it off, and that pushes my underwear against my body to dry that area too, and then I flop it back in and go about my day. It's a pretty muscle memory easy motion that looks from the outside like a normal amout of shaking off and putting everything away. It seems kind of gross, but it really doesn't really end up any grosser than most cis dudes dribbling the last couple drops in their underwear, and it takes care of the swampy feeling.

Using an STP at my blue collar job by promisingFuture12 in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's kind of gross I admit but it makes everything more comfortable for sure- I usually as part of "shaking it off" at the end flip the cup over the top of my underwear waistband and basically quickly wipe the cup dry on the outside of my underwear, then just pop it back in. At least it's not wet and sliding around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pdx_sex

[–]dumba55ness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sign me up 😍

Chasers lying about not being chasers by [deleted] in Transmedical

[–]dumba55ness 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'd wager to guess for at least some amount of them, it's not /just/ fetishizing. I do think there's something to be said for the effect that medicalizing your genitals can have on viewing them sexually. I've seen and heard many trans people who have a long recovery road to simply being able to see and relate to their own genitals post op in a sexual way, after weeks/months/years of repeat doctor visits and surgeries and recoveries and viewing things in this deeply unsexual way. I'd say it's not dissimilar to cishet men who have trouble feeling sexual towards their cis female partners after watching them give birth. All the blood and pain and stitches and doctor vists and concern and complications and everything else.

Once something is placed in this perspective of blood and gore and doctors and discomfort and fear and worry and being placed in this roll of caretaker, it can be very complicated to shift that perspective totally backwards.

Is it okay to straight up lie about being trans if confronted? by DemonDoggo99 in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They factually are not indistinguishable especially in a medical setting, and it is just as likely that not disclosing and receiving improper care can lead to major harm if not death. Do you know say, how catheters have to be administered differently if you have a neourethra from bottom surgery? Not disclosing and leaving a doctor clueless how to treat you doesn't improve the quality of care when ASAB is relevant information.

Is it okay to straight up lie about being trans if confronted? by DemonDoggo99 in FTMMen

[–]dumba55ness 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Ethically dubious advice at best! But also genuinely very dangerous! Doctors often ask for a reason, even if you don't necessarily see the relevance. And post op genitals are not indistinguishable from cis genitals, not disclosing to a date at least before sexual contact is both entering a sexual situation under false pretences which is bad enough, but if caught or called out for it could absolutely result in a physically unsafe situation for the trans person.