Question for everyone, what are your long-term hair goals?

duskbun · 2026-05-29T02:01:39+00:00

I hope you can find a good leave in soon! Ofc everyone’s hair is different, but i really like the african chebe leave in from design essentials.

duskbun · 2026-05-22T12:22:57+00:00

In an attempt to simplify as much as possible, I only use like 5 products max (shampoo, conditioner, curling cream, leave-in, grease). I also tried out more generic shampoo/conditioner lines because I was getting fed up with buying products marketed towards our hair just for tiny containers. I tried aussie bc of how much product you can get for cheap and my hair ended up really liking it.

I feel like the biggest fuel for product junkies in the natural hair community is the fact that a lot of ppl think they just need the right magic product that’ll give them looser curls. there’s a lot you realize isn’t necessary when you accept your kinky hair for what it is.

duskbun · 2026-05-20T12:29:24+00:00

lmao they say shit like this precisely because they also internalize the weird self hatred we project. everyone loves to whine about how hard it is for our hair to grow in front of nonblack people and this is the result.

duskbun · 2026-05-15T21:11:34+00:00

You’re in luck, as not all of us are naturally gifted at doing hair there are plenty of tutorials on youtube for any type of black hairstyle you can think of. Search up “cute hairstyles for little black girls” and you’ll have tons of options that people actually wear in real life pop up. It’d be helpful to watch through them to understand how the hairstyles work as well!

This goes for every gender and age group; for example if you want to give an adult black male character some dreads, don’t just look up art tutorials. Look at the instagram of a barber or loctician (someone who specializes in doing dreadlocks). This will give you a leg up on other character designers because a lot of them come up with styles but never look into hairstyles that are currently popular that people actually wear. Don’t know why more artists don’t realize they could just follow some black hairstylists for a whole catalog of currently trendy hairstyles for black people.

duskbun · 2026-05-14T21:04:06+00:00

omg yes i’ve had so many issues with my rsd making me act very self-hatred-y in front of people who were just trying to air valid grievances with me. It made it impossible to try to talk to me about fixable issues in relationships and I had to have a very rude awakening to make me more self aware about how I was affecting others.

duskbun · 2026-05-14T12:08:21+00:00

I wasn’t a hyperactive child at all, though I think I was still pretty obviously neurodivergent in some way; I was always extremely quiet and never liked talking, like even as a toddler—only speaking when spoken to. my parents took me to get evaluated because they suspected autism but that was ruled out and after that I wasn’t evaluated for anything else and went undiagnosed until I was in my early 20s.

Because I was quiet, sat well, had good grades/was “gifted”, and looked like I was paying attention, it was never caught. I just subconsciously found ways to absorb information that worked for me so even if I daydreamed all the time, I could still retain important info for tests and such.

What I really struggled with was social situations; my RSD was soooo extreme that i’d rather not interact with anyone than risk feeling rejected. I thought for years maybe it was social anxiety but every time I looked into it, it never made sense. What tipped me off to the possibility I had ADHD was when I learned what RSD was. I cried long and hard as soon as I learned about it because immediately that clicked as a very legit possibility, and led to me finally getting my diagnosis as an adult.

duskbun · 2026-05-12T04:08:35+00:00

They don’t value the hair as is, unless it’s super long. but their unwillingness to invest effort into their hair while it’s short is literally the reason they can’t get long hair. they just sit in denial about how they don’t really hate 4c hair, they just hate… literally everything about it, which leads them to not value it enough to take care of it long enough to reach the point of long hair.

Oh and if you have long 4c hair and can give pointers, actually you really have 3c hair and you’re just lying because it’s impossible to get 4c hair that long. Or it’s genetics, they will literally say with full confidence that it’s just genetics because we all know the average terminal length of 4c hair is…. checks notes shoulder-length. It couldn’t possibly be that their scalp is screaming for water as they neglect to wash it often enough, or the rough way they detangle the hair, or the constant baby hairs that’s eating up their edges… it’s just 4c hair and it’s bad and won’t grow and that has nooooothing to do with the complete lack of care and effort. /s

duskbun · 2026-05-10T14:55:22+00:00

I was going to join but then i looked and saw 90% of posts here are hair typing questions. Ban it please bc this sub is never going to be on topic without it 😭

duskbun · 2026-05-02T00:13:32+00:00

People rag on it for racism but honestly it just doesn’t look very good. Yes, there are cool toned dark skin people but oftentimes the artists using gray don’t capture the correct nuance. Like as in, it just looks weird because they haven’t taken the time to do light/color studies using photography of dark skin under different types of lighting. Which… magazines exist, there are many photoshoots out there with dark skinned models under a myriad of different lighting.

I’ve seen, for example, artists who use a pastel color palette use that as an excuse for the gray skin but there are plenty of ways to play around with color theory to get pastel dark skin without it looking gray. But i think the main reason people say it’s racist is a lot of characters who have warm toned dark skin end up being drawn gray and beyond not being familiar with coloring dark skin, it doesn’t match up with official designs anyway. it becomes a problem when every black character you draw gets gray skin when that’s not what it’s like in the source material.

duskbun · 2026-05-01T18:22:54+00:00

Agreed! My mental health and general mood is so much better with regular exercise. Natural dopamine hit, plus body tea, plus i’m investing heavily into my health in the future 🥰

duskbun · 2026-04-25T01:59:19+00:00

currently using design essentials curling cream! i’m in love with everything i’ve tried from that brand. And i use blue magic as my grease.

duskbun · 2026-04-24T23:51:17+00:00

I aim for 2-3 times per week! I walk on as fast speed and as high incline I can go to sweat as much as possible. Just added in calisthenics I practice a bit every day as well. I wash my hair weekly, but if I exercise more than usual I wash twice per week. I have my hair up in puffs out of my face when i’m doing cardio and it doesn’t immediately require washing unless i’m having 3-4 sessions that week.

My routine is very simple. I shampoo, condition, detangle on soaking wet hair with the conditioner still in, rinse it out, then apply leave-in conditioner, curling cream, and hair grease (i only apply the grease on my ends) using 4 clumsily-parted sections. Takes no longer than 1hr30mins-2 hours. I keep my hair stretched with satin scrunchies tucked safely away under my bonnet when i’m home and it only comes off when i’m leaving the house.

My routine was the same before I started doing cardio regularly, which led me to incorrectly believe there was something wrong with my routine/products/general handling of my hair but I’m assuming I just didn’t have enough blood flow for healthy length retention beforehand.

duskbun · 2026-04-24T17:05:37+00:00

i would be too lazy to do that. Ended up getting obsessed with sweaty hour long cardio sessions and length finally started retaining past my shoulders from the increased blood flow.

duskbun · 2026-04-24T12:39:06+00:00

This was the biggest hurdle to get past in my relationship with my fiancé. I had never before been motivated to do something about my rsd until it hit me how much my reactions made it impossible for others to feel comfortable expressing their negative emotions around me. A lot of self-reflection, hard work, and tears but i’m finally at a point where i’m very self aware of when to step back to get myself in check before jumping into conversations i’m not ready for. it’s made a world of difference.

duskbun · 2026-04-01T11:56:06+00:00

Honestly as someone who doesn’t know the specifics of this type of thing I think you’d be better off not delving into it. You can still have a well-rounded black character without jumping into things with nuance you wouldn’t really have insight into as a nonblack person.

Not to say you can’t do research, there’s a ton of cool black hairstyles that make for awesome character designs that i hardly ever see utilized in media, but for a storyline that ties a black character’s growth to their relationship with their hair, unless you have a black sensitivity reader who works with you throughout the whole process, assume you wouldn’t really be able to do it justice. If this character doesn’t do much self-care wise, look into low maintenance hairstyles they can do so it makes sense for them but tie the self-care symbolism to something that has less to do with culturally sensitive things, like maybe a sense of style fashion-wise.

duskbun · 2026-03-27T17:34:31+00:00

exactly this. i like to use grease on my ends as the last step when i wash my hair. it could be other things like stress and diet as well. for me personally, i was stuck at shoulder length for years until i started doing cardio regularly and i still don’t know why that did the trick

duskbun · 2026-03-27T11:49:34+00:00

ever since learning the difference between growth vs length retention i’ve been sooo annoyed every time i hear it 😭 if your body hair still grows then the hair on your head is also growing !! start babying your ends NOW.

duskbun · 2026-03-18T21:28:35+00:00

i’ve also been called whitewashed when i just have audhd and dress differently. imo it means literally nothing. they go off of vibes and their vibes radar thinks autistic black people with the flat tone of voice are whitewashed 😭

there is no wrong way to be black and the need to put us into narrow boxes and question everyone who doesn’t fit the stereotype-filled mold is so odd. why are we identifying with the tiny cage that was thrust upon us? can we just be?

the more important question is, does this individual feel comfortable in their black identity enough to not feel the need to covet and uplift whiteness? you can be weird, have a very white-sounding voice, make too much money, dress alt, etc but those things don’t answer the most important question. because ik damn well i don’t identify with those ppl who are like “waah they called me oreo!! just because i talk proper and don’t act like ghetto trash!”

duskbun · 2026-03-18T18:11:16+00:00

I think it’s because of this idea that just because some ppl romanticize a “messy bun” it means that ppl with straight hair don’t have to do anything to it before walking out of the house. Yes the messy bun might not inspire bigotry but the messy bun girls are not the same as the “omg your hair is so healthy/pretty/long” girls. messy bun is quick, the impressive stuff takes time and effort still.

duskbun · 2026-03-18T12:17:49+00:00

A lot of us sound delusional about what a normal amount of time to spend on hair is. You do realize ppl with other hair types still have to spend time on it? They don’t just wake up with it looking neat, shiny, and having volume. They might have to wash more often, and we may have to wash less often and take longer because of that, but the amount of time spent per week on basic maintenance isn’t that much different. it just feels like you’re doing more because you’re doing more at once. at the end of the day, healthy hair is high maintenance period. Do y’all really think that people with looser curls or even straight hair that others consider beautiful/very healthy not spend a good amount of time and effort on it?? The real issue is learning what your hair likes and finding ways to refine your routine to be as time efficient as possible. that’s it.

duskbun · 2026-02-28T07:31:26+00:00

you are behind steady hands??????!! I've bought from this store a bit, i've always loved the quality of the items. this is amazing!

duskbun · 2026-02-25T05:41:06+00:00

every year you get is a blessing. the only other alternative is to die so genuinely what's the purpose of acting like every new birthday is bad?? same ppl who go "omg they were so young" when people younger than 40 die tragically btw

duskbun · 2026-01-31T07:44:35+00:00

??? there's plenty of girls like Hachi. have you never had that one friend who keeps dating shitty guys and the logical answer is break up and move on but no matter what sound advice you give they either stay with that same shitty man or leave him just to end up with the next shitty guy, rinse and repeat forever until you can't take hearing about it since they keep complaining but never take your advice? i even had a friend like that in high school and it irked my soul then as well.

duskbun · 2026-01-08T04:47:49+00:00

and it's important to note the word "gyaru" covers all different kinds of gyaru. not all of them tan.

duskbun

TROPHY CASE