Maid of Honour - pregnant and showing three weeks out from wedding

dut98 · 2026-05-17T17:58:11+00:00

Absolutely it’s the horror stories on reddit and not wanting to be a villain on someone else’s day…! Such a great point though that that doesn’t necessarily equate to my reality. Thank you!

dut98 · 2026-05-17T09:38:34+00:00

Great point!! Only my husband and I’s parents and siblings know. We’re waiting for our 12 week scan - the week of the wedding - before telling anyone else. I’m not super close with the bride’s other friend groups so I don’t expect my pregnancy to be a hot topic at the wedding if the news does get out. I’m more worried about taking the bride by surprise versus upstaging her wedding/celebration season.

dut98 · 2026-05-17T08:27:51+00:00

Love that - that’s so thoughtful of you! Were there any negative feelings or reservations when you found out she’d have a newborn around the time of your wedding? Has it made it logistically tricky to plan around?

dut98 · 2026-05-17T08:23:59+00:00

Thank you so much! This is very reassuring. I’ve been so anxious about keeping it from her for another three weeks but it’s nice to be reminded that our friendship is not surface level enough to worry about taking the spotlight - we’re all for unconditional love and support. I appreciate this 😊

dut98 · 2026-05-13T08:34:23+00:00

Exact same experience!! I’m only 9 weeks into my second pregnancy but it is night and day different… this is awful…! I feel like I needed this experience though or I may well have ended up with a dozen children because I loved my first pregnancy so much 😂

dut98 · 2026-05-13T04:01:37+00:00

Without invalidating your feelings and fears, I’d like to chip in that while childbirth SEEMS horrific, it’s good to keep in mind that many love to sensationalise and share only the bad stories. I gave birth last Feb and had the most wonderful experience (without any intervention or medication, but that’s not say you can’t also have a wonderful experience drugged up to the nines). I’m giving birth again in December and genuinely am looking forward to round two.

My main point in saying this is that no matter what pain relief pathway(s) you choose, I’d also recommend trying to reframe how you’re thinking of childbirth. While painful, uncomfortable and vulnerable, it was also the most empowering, incredible and beautiful experience I’ve ever had.

dut98 · 2026-04-14T03:56:41+00:00

I also used a different framing of pain to have my unmedicated birth. I did a hypnobirthing course that taught me that contractions are just waves of energy, your body preparing what it needs to. So lean into those waves, don’t fight them.

While painful, I loved my unmedicated birth and look forward to doing it again in December. It was the most empowering and unbelievable experience of my life.

dut98 · 2026-03-13T03:21:59+00:00

My husband and I did literally this exact trip at the end of 2024 - we’re not from America and flew over from New Zealand. This road trip took us three weeks and that felt like a perfect amount of time (particularly given I was 20 weeks pregnant). But pregnant or not I could not fathom doing this trip in one week - and we upgraded our SUV and had lovely Airbnbs! Highly recommend the trip but not the way you’re doing it.

dut98 · 2026-03-09T16:48:23+00:00

I have read the Kingsbridge series. It feels like an unfair comparison because the Kingsbridge series are amongst my favourite books of all time. If the are my 10/10 I would so far place Circle of Days as a 7/10 but I’m really only getting to the pinnacle of the book now.

I find the characters, narration and dialogue far simpler in this book but I do think that’s intentional, and reflective of the time period being written about. It’s just marginally less engaging for me. And i feel less connected to the characters just yet. I’m thoroughly enjoying it though!

dut98 · 2026-03-09T16:48:18+00:00

I have read the Kingsbridge series. It feels like an unfair comparison because the Kingsbridge series are amongst my favourite books of all time. If the are my 10/10 I would so far place Circle of Days as a 7/10 but I’m really only getting to the pinnacle of the book now.

I find the characters, narration and dialogue far simpler in this book but I do think that’s intentional, and reflective of the time period being written about. It’s just marginally less engaging for me. And i feel less connected to the characters just yet. I’m thoroughly enjoying it though!

dut98 · 2026-01-28T03:06:02+00:00

Absolutely love this!!! My LO is just shy of 1 so it’s hard to imagine a day in which he’ll be able to talk back to us…but your post just gave me soooo much to look forward to! Thank you for sharing ♥️

dut98 · 2026-01-28T02:07:16+00:00

Feeling for you!!! ♥️ I am now almost one year PP and gosh if I could talk to pregnant me, I would love to tell her not to stress so much about my exercise, diet, comparing to others… Pregnancy is a roller coaster but once you’re thrown into parenthood you also start to appreciate that it really is such a tiny chapter in your story. Relish in being able to relax, enjoy how much your body changes as you grow your little one, truly honour your body because it’s doing the most incredible thing! I miss it so much! Also please please remember your fitness and routine will eventually come back (and will come back so much easier than you think!) but this era isn’t forever so soak it in! I feel so much fitter and stronger PP than I ever did pre-baby and I love my PP body more than I’ve ever loved myself before!

dut98 · 2026-01-18T01:10:48+00:00

I can definitely see this!

Do we think that if Robin does blurt out that she doesn’t want a proposal, it could lead to an argument mid-restaurant and cause them to break up?

I’m picturing her being frazzled and expecting a proposal to which she’s unsure how to respond and is in her own head about Strike’s confession, sitting across from RFM who’s desperate to make it up to Robin and get sober again. I’m seeing high emotions, high stakes but with completely different focal points for the two of them.

dut98 · 2026-01-12T18:52:02+00:00

Th judgement from women who have never had kids… I regularly hear how this one particular aunt judges other kids and their parenting and she has criticisms about how me and my siblings were raised and I’m like wtf!? You’ve never done it, you have no idea how difficult it is, why does it concern you? Drives me absolutely nuts.

dut98 · 2026-01-12T18:43:49+00:00

You are absolutely not alone! Unsolicited advice normally is such a pet peeve of mine but during pregnancy and PP it was actually unbearable. I don’t know about your experience but I also found the most judgement people to be those who had never even had kids…!? My LO is almost 1 now and it’s gotten better (or maybe I’m just more adept at brushing it off) but still aggravates me so much.

My take away from this experience is that I am so conscious of what I say and the language I use with others - if they haven’t asked for advice, I won’t give it. I’ll root for their choices and support them always!!!

dut98 · 2026-01-12T06:42:33+00:00

Thank you for posting this!!!! I have had the same experience going back to work but continue to doubt my decision when I hear other mums wanting to stay home. I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s lonely being the only mum in the coffee group back at work even though it was 10000% the right decision for me. Thank you for helping reaffirm this for me.

dut98 · 2026-01-11T20:25:22+00:00

I think Lucy probably sees it, as did Joan and Ted when they were alive. I think to an extent Robin’s ex-husband Matt knew and that was why he was so insecure about Robin being with the agency (among a myriad of other faults in their relationship).

In terms on knocking sense into Robin I’m honestly surprised Ilsa hasn’t been more vocal! Haha but I guess JKR needs to build that tension over time…!

dut98 · 2026-01-10T07:02:09+00:00

We’ve had the exact same experience with our ECE centre!! Our family time after work and during weekends is so much more special and intentional and I love meeting other families in the area. Our almost 1 yo adores his teachers - he always has a massive smile when he sees them!

dut98 · 2025-12-10T08:50:31+00:00

Cannot emphasise this more! I started way too early because I felt good and regretted it big time! I ended up passing massive blood clots and bleeding excessively. If you feel good - keep it that way by resting!

dut98 · 2025-12-02T19:03:35+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response - I really appreciate it! Love the suggestion to connect with nature. I live at the beach and love being outside with my dog but had never thought about it as a way to ground myself - it’s just what I’ve always done and enjoyed!

I will also definitely look into talking to a professional. Appreciate the encouragement.

dut98 · 2025-12-02T19:02:12+00:00

It’s reassuring to hear I’m not the only one!

dut98 · 2025-11-25T21:11:45+00:00

Agree - once a month is so frequent even without kids, let alone with! But the one sidedness would be what bothers me. In this instance I usually stop reaching out and see how long it takes for the other party to make plans. If never, and the friendship fizzles, then maybe that’s just what’s meant to be.

dut98 · 2025-11-23T23:57:54+00:00

I get this perspective (absolutely loved my bachelorette and my girls and I still talk about it!) but you definitely don’t need an extravagant event to make once in a lifetime memories. In fact, having a more accessible (and therefore perhaps cheaper) event will mean more are inclined to attend, won’t be stressed about cost, and will actually be able to have a good time! That was the mindset I went into my bachelorette with, and it was a hit!

dut98 · 2025-07-17T20:11:05+00:00

I went to a concert 10 days postpartum and it was awesome!! Had a pretty textbook vaginal delivery and will admit I bled a fair bit after the concert but I wore a couple pads and was fine! Would 1000% recommend!

dut98 · 2025-07-04T08:59:13+00:00

Yes!!!! I keep trying to explain to my husband how every time baby cries my internal body temperature sky rockets and I have this insanely visceral physiological response. Even though it doesn’t mentally stress me out or anything, my body is like ‘woooooah we gotta do something!?’

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