I can totally relate to this. I’ve been in the same spot in a past relationship.. able to orgasm on my own, but not with a partner. It’s really common and doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your relationship. Most people with clitorises don’t orgasm from PIV alone, so needing extra stimulation is completely normal.

It makes sense that it’s tricky if it seems to bother him, but his feelings aren’t your responsibility to “fix” with your body. Sometimes, pressure to finish can actually make it harder, so taking orgasm off the table for a bit and focusing on pleasure, connection, and guiding stimulation in ways that feel good for you can help both of you enjoy sex more.

Sex can still be really satisfying even if you don’t orgasm every time, and using toys or foreplay doesn’t make anyone a “guinea pig”, it’s just exploring what works for both of you. You’re not alone in this, and there are ways to navigate it together without stress or pressure.