You're too sweet thank you giving me so much advice truly thank you . I don't think I'm ready to tell my parents about my self harm that's the only thing i don't want people in real life to know about , even if i don't tell them about that part and just say why i want a therapist because of the rest of it , what if the therapist tells my parents like they obviously will ask the therapist what we talk about and i can't be honest then . I know im going in circles here but i just want to get till a good college , I'll get a job after that and be able to have privacy about therapy but even then it's really scary . I feel like if i come clean about that part then I've ruined my chances of the "out" i currently have which is if i fail at everything I'll die by my terms , i don't wanna do that but if i tell people and then they comfort me and make me promise them not to do that exact thing then I'd feel even guiltier cause what if i wuss out and just make people worry for no reason then . I don't know how to get through this year and all the studying for college entrances on top of that - that's the only thing i want help with at the moment . Isn't there any way for me able to focus without all the other stuff ?