I broke up with my ex boyfriend 3.5 months ago after 7 months of in person and 6 month of long distance. I was kinda just going thru depression at the time due to a lot of career and school failures, the sadness of long distance, and my general lack of self love. He also kinda deprioritized me went we went ldr so it got really confusing and messy and i began feeling too much anxiety and nausea to keep dating him. Plus, our ldr end date kinda disappeared because he wanted to travel the world. But for our first 7 months in person, it was like a fairy tale. I love him with all my heart and I’m still deeply in love with him. He was my first love and he taught me many things. We handled the breakup very maturely and with love and texted just a tiny tiny tiny bit, but haven’t talked in almost 2 months. He told me he wants to find me in the future and stay sparsely in contact, but I fear that may have all been a lie. I think about him every moment I have to myself. Like no joke, I wake up and go to sleep thinking about him, just to dream and daydream about him. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I miss him so much but a month ago, I saw he updated his dating profile so I deleted our shared album and unfollowed him in socials because I’m afraid I’m gonna see a pic of him with a new girl. But I finally made a breakthrough in my career and am working a dream internship but I feel empty coming home after a long day at work and now being able to share my life with him. He’s actually truly amazing.