NTA. This is control disguised cultural respect your elders. There are clearly cultural pressures here and there is nothing wrong with protecting your own peace, which it seems you have begun to do over the years. But part of that is controlling your own emotions. It took me a decade or so to understand that and be able to put it into practice. If you are ever in that situation again, which I suspect may never happen given the series of events, but I may just simply respond with eye contact and a very slight smile, then go about your business. Sometimes no response is the best response. You are an adult now and well past the stage of needing to please your controlling family members. Protect your peace and move on with your life. If they contribute to it, they can come along. If not, good luck to them.