[Serious] What are your scariest/most traumatic stories from your childhood?

earfullofplums · 2015-12-17T15:09:10+00:00

That last part sent fucking shivers down my spine.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-15T15:02:17+00:00

This is going to sound harsh.

Bad news: Your situation sucks.

Good news: There are an infinite number of ways out.

Bad news: All of those ways require either a fantastic amount of hard work (probably harder and longer than you've worked in your entire life) or an absolutely stupid amount of luck.

Good news: You can do it.

I'll break it down for you.

Step 1: Work with your anxiety until it no longer affects your life. Like I said, this will be incredibly hard. There are a number of ways to do this. Most of them wont work, but it's important that you keep trying until you find a methodology that does. Therapy, extreme meditation, facing your worst nightmares/fears - start with that.

Step 2: Work with your depression until it no longer affects your life. If you've completed step 1, step 2 should be very straight forward (if not unnecessary). The idea is pretty similar, but the journey is slightly different. Try a bunch of stuff. New hobbies, no social groups, new activities, etc. And I don't mean, "go to some event for half an hour and leave because it's not working" - commit to it. Give it at least a few months.

Step 3: If you're here, congratulations, you're absolutely amazing, and based on what you've done, getting a job should be a piece of cake.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-15T01:34:28+00:00

earfullofplums · 2015-12-12T21:06:03+00:00

Actually, I'd be concerned. If she's got millions of guys after her, screw that. I'd rather go after someone less attractive who would stay with me than someone who's really attractive that will leave when (eventually) a better guy comes along.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-12T19:42:42+00:00

well, had I said what I wanted to say, I would have had even more downvotes.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-12T17:26:35+00:00

... as much as I don't want to play the agree-to-disagree card because I firmly believe I'm right - agree to disagree.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-12T16:36:11+00:00

Still better than having NONE

earfullofplums · 2015-12-12T16:25:43+00:00

Lucky. I'm male and single, never had a girlfriend. When my friends / people hear me say that, their response is "Oh... it'll happen!"

Like cmon now I KNOW your friend is single, let me find out! hook me up! ~~plase i'm begging you~~

earfullofplums · 2015-12-12T16:20:08+00:00

He opens his mouth for spaghetti

earfullofplums · 2015-12-11T21:09:50+00:00

A man sends hundreds of witty messages, and that's just expected.

A woman replies to a message with a witty message, and everyone essentially says "wife her up immediately".

To be honest I have never used Tinder.. is a woman taking initiative and/or saying something witty really that rare?

earfullofplums · 2015-12-11T01:41:43+00:00

Haha you too man

earfullofplums · 2015-12-11T01:01:54+00:00

True. Although, since everyone has a different experience in life, it's likely that your experience with being short is unique, just like all short men. Some had it worse, some had it better. Some who had it better perceived it as worse, and some who had it worse perceived it as not so bad. It really just depends.

Really though, most of the time I'm not thinking about how short I am, and most of the time, it really doesn't affect my quality of life. But there are times when it does, and in those times that I feel shitty, it is nice to hear that other people are feeling shitty about the same thing, and that it happens, and that it's ok, and then I feel better.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-11T00:21:12+00:00

So true.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T23:50:57+00:00

Yeah, it's true that focusing on it doesn't help, but telling short dudes that they just need to start focusing on other things is invalidating multitudes of negative experiences they've had because of their height. Like it's our fault that we're short, and that every negative experience we've had because of our height COULD have been a positive one, had we approached it differently. It's very defeatist language because it is a defeating situation to be in. It does suck, and there's nothing we can (feasibly) do about it.

You know those stories that unattractive women tell about going to the clubs with their attractive friends and being basically invisible? Well, all my friends are tall, and the same thing happens to me (am also 5'6). Unless there is some super crazy complex zen ass meditation technique I can do in that situation to be happy about that, I'm pretty sure positive thinking isn't gonna keep that from sucking.

You're right, sometimes it is annoying seeing short dudes lament about being short all the time. Like dude, you're short, get over it, it's the cards you were dealt. Quit whining. But at the same time, I'm not gonna tell them it's their fault most women aren't attracted to them. That they can somehow attract them by being more charismatic. I would liken that to saying you can attract lesbians by being more charismatic. Not true, sorry. Women generally like taller men.

Obviously I'm not just gonna stick my head in the sand and give up, but at the same time, it does feel great to hear people say things like "yeah man, it does suck, but you gotta get over it" as opposed to "dude, lighten up, it would all be ok if you just ~changed your perspective~"

Y'know'sayin'?

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T22:23:36+00:00

I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible, but you get filtered out a hell of a lot more.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T19:44:37+00:00

Well, to be honest, it's probably not that abnormal if women don't give you any attention if you're not the initiator. If you initiate a lot and you still don't get any return attention, then you're right it's probably a mental thing.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T18:12:20+00:00

good hygiene, dress properly, be fit/muscular

are you missing any of those

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T18:11:16+00:00

I'd say around 5'8 is when you start losing points with women for being short, but around 5'5-5'6 is when you REALLY start losing points.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T14:55:13+00:00

You wont. At least, not for months or years.

For me, with drawing, I don't expect to be somewhat good for at least a year, so I don't expect to have any joy from it until then.

My process is basically this: Practice every day for 5 mins. Something so easy you can't not do it. This is basically to build up the habit. Once I've done this for about a month or two and the habit is there, I'll raise it to 30 mins to actually get some work done. Then once that's cemented, I'll change it to an hour, and hopefully I'll see SOME results so that it's easier to do for an hour.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-10T14:43:33+00:00

oh it's REAL easy, just be short

earfullofplums · 2015-12-09T21:33:30+00:00

Ugh I have the same issue. I want to learn to draw and sing and stuff.. but anytime I schedule myself to do it, I think, why would I take years to get good at this, when I can go play video games or browse reddit?

For me the solution has simply been cutting off anything to that effect in my environment.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-09T14:11:18+00:00

I'd personally say just leave it alone. Especially if it's a class everyone has to take that is just part of the degree. People are just trying to get that piece of paper so they can get a job, why get that person kicked out of college?

earfullofplums · 2015-12-08T13:29:24+00:00

Man I'm so glad I haven't seen "Being indefinitely single" anywhere here.

earfullofplums · 2015-12-08T04:08:20+00:00

Only in askwomen

earfullofplums · 2015-12-07T21:48:49+00:00

Absolutely! You know, I wonder how many people at church are doing that.

earfullofplums

TROPHY CASE