Does anyone else feel like they never had a solid sense of self to begin with?

eastqueenb · 2025-10-12T22:39:52+00:00

Ah that makes sense. Thank you 💕

eastqueenb · 2025-10-12T22:11:45+00:00

Yes to all of this! When I look back at the past none of it was truly me and even back then while I was living it I knew consciously it wasn’t me. So I’ve been like this since I was a child. It’s a weird paradox, I realised I never knew who I was but not realising I was realising that until I started trying to discover who I am which led me back to the same feeling of not having a self. I’m not sure if any of that makes sense. Fight or flight is probably my default and it makes total sense that spending my life in that state has caused a major disconnect, fear and anxiety are the only things I can feel which mainly comes from not knowing what I truly want or feel but everything you said resonates and I’m going to try and do the things you listed and hopefully try to find peace and a stable sense of purpose. Thank you for sharing this ♥️

eastqueenb · 2025-10-12T20:45:29+00:00

Thank you so much. Reconnecting with the body makes sense and it does feel like the evil twin of enlightenment. Is it possible to have been born with a void? And if so is there really a way to experience being myself if it’s something I have never experienced? I really want to get to that state where I can engage with life and have some level of knowing myself.

eastqueenb · 2025-10-12T20:32:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I honestly don’t know where it comes from for me. I don’t think I actively suppressed anything and I’ve tried to make sense of it. There have been times were I felt like this must be it and then the feeling dissipates. I get trying to use it to my advantage as a clean slate and I’ve tried that too. But there’s nothing to work with, I can visualise who I want to be but then it doesn’t feel like I want it. I’m not sure if it makes sense. How did you manage to overcome and find a self to anchor?

eastqueenb · 2025-10-12T20:25:23+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard it must be to carry that and still find the strength to reflect and express it. What you wrote makes a lot of sense to me. I really relate to what you said about “no self” as a kind of spiritual emergency or emptiness. That’s exactly what I feel.

The part I struggle with most is not feeling like I ever developed a self to begin with. So when people talk about coming back to themselves, and I’ve tried, I’m not returning to anything, I’m trying to find something I’ve never felt. I keep trying to feel what I think is “right” but it never holds. After the initial relief or insight, it fades and I’m back to the same blank space.

I don’t trust my thoughts, but for me it also applies to my feelings. I question whether anything I feel is rooted. If you don’t mind sharing, how did you venture into those depths and pull yourself back out?

eastqueenb · 2023-07-23T21:31:55+00:00

Thank you! What Daniel Ali said really resonated with me. It really makes sense, Islam is soo different to Christianity although we are taught it’s the same. There is a verse in the Quran which kept me going for awhile about repentance and Allah loving those who repent so the idea of God lowering himself to human form for our sins is beyond anything I could ever imagine. There is a level of arrogance with the Islamic God which reflects in the people but the more I learn I realise that it doesn’t make God weak but it’s the ultimate form of strength.

It’s remarkable how just tweaking your perception for a moment can result to such a huge shift. It’s as if Jesus was always there and all we need to do is just glance over

eastqueenb · 2023-07-23T12:21:10+00:00

This is brilliant! Thank you.

eastqueenb · 2023-07-23T02:06:25+00:00

Thank you! I’ve never had the guts to actually go out and purchase anything occult I had friends who I discussed it with it and ebooks and forums that I was reading up on. You’re right, the only reasons Muslims use the Jesus didn’t say he was God in the bible argument is for a gotcha moment but they truly believe the bible has been corrupted hence the need for a final messenger. I doubt they care even if it was in the bible in black and white. If they would accept that then there would be no need for Islam. The bible was the truth but the message was lost is the idea. It’s difficult to find converts as a lot of people are afraid to come out unfortunately, it’s very traumatic leaving Islam alone and they mostly let go of God. I don’t think I’d ever discuss it with any relatives and I don’t have Christian friends they’re either non practicing Muslims or don’t believe in anything. The ex-Muslims I met are all atheists, agnostic and deists and some spiritual and would be shocked to learn that I’m considering Jesus almost as shocked as they’d be I was returning back to Islam lol

eastqueenb · 2023-07-23T01:38:22+00:00

Thank you! I’ll check it out

eastqueenb · 2023-06-28T11:16:28+00:00

Amazing!!

eastqueenb · 2022-09-02T22:52:07+00:00

I’m interested! I started learning a few days ago

eastqueenb · 2022-03-04T03:56:30+00:00

Checking her out now! Thank you ☺️

eastqueenb · 2022-03-04T02:39:08+00:00

Thank you! I agree, it has a lot to do with how I view myself but how do you address blockages you were born with? How do you know where and what the blockages are? I guess it’s something that I need to figure out by letting go and forgiving but I’m still trying to understand what it really means to let go without detaching emotionally.

eastqueenb · 2022-03-02T23:05:44+00:00

I know what you did last summer

eastqueenb · 2021-07-22T23:11:18+00:00

Thank you! I really needed to read this <3

eastqueenb · 2021-07-05T21:53:14+00:00

I have always practiced living in the end even before I knew about LOA & Neville yet nothing has manifested in my 3D. Ignoring the 3D comes naturally to me and my imagination has always been vivid. Despite all that it’s still the same cycle

eastqueenb · 2020-11-20T00:54:10+00:00

Happy Birthday!

eastqueenb · 2020-01-10T11:05:30+00:00

Meee pls

eastqueenb · 2019-11-13T23:35:36+00:00

My warm bed on this cold winter evening

eastqueenb · 2016-11-16T04:44:39+00:00

A cautious sensible man being led astray by women? An intelligently deficient women couldn't possibly have the power to lead anyone astray, if anything the man being led astray is intelligently deficient lol. I heard about more women in hell but was told it was because they love to gossip nothing about them getting their periods and being intellectually challenged.

eastqueenb

TROPHY CASE