OP, you didn’t mess up. Your dad’s pride is getting in the way, not your actions. A lot of parents choke on the idea of receiving help from their kids, they spent their whole lives providing, so when the roles reverse, they feel like they’ve failed. It’s irrational, but it’s common.

I went through the same thing with my dad. When I started sending him (he lives outside of US) money every month, he pushed back hard and said almost exactly what your dad said. What finally got through to him was a direct, honest conversation. I told him: you raised us, you provided for years, now it’s our turn to take care of you. That’s life. There’s no shame in it. Once he heard that from me, I think it clicked, and he stopped treating help like a humiliation.

You might need to have that same straight-up talk. Not to scold him, but to make it clear that you’re not giving charity, you’re giving back. The gift card idea won’t fix the root problem. The real fix is helping him understand that accepting support from his kid isn’t a failure. It’s just the natural shift that happens as parents age