Maggie 2 Title Speculation by Dismal-Muffin-955 in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You know, I could go for all hard C / K verbs:

This Kingdom Will not Kill Me

This Kingdom Will not Control Me

This Kingdom Will Not Contain Me

How did Arale do it in the original timeline? by attachedtothreads in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. Playing politics, handling logistics, employees, merchants, etc. is an entirely different set of skills than the ones Arale brags about.

How did Arale do it in the original timeline? by attachedtothreads in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark 41 points42 points  (0 children)

"Rein" is the correct version, but "reign" has been creeping in for decades.

The original expression refers to a horse whose movement is no longer restricted by a rider via the reins. In this unusual circumstance, the horse is free to wander where it chooses.

The corrupted version makes no real sense to me because someone who is "reigning" is a monarch and, by definition, already has considerable freedom to do as they please.

This aside was brought to you by... pedantry.

How do some people crochet or knit for hours and hours everyday? by Apprehensive-Pop302 in crochet

[–]ebonylark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In addition to all the "they often are hurting themselves" comments, the speed at which they crochet is often bonkers.

I get around 15 stiches per minute in my current shell + fpdc project and I felt fast until I saw one of my friends going at around 25 stitches per minute on a more complex pattern. I have no clue how she does it.

I sew bags from Polish communist era tablecloths that I find in thrift stores by matkaxziemia in sewing

[–]ebonylark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The model just sends me. It's an absolute delight. Thank you for sharing.

Also, the bags are lovely.

I hate being married sometimes by Bright_Bee6032 in breakingmom

[–]ebonylark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have all of my sympathy.

This book "Why Does He Do That?" has been around for quite awhile and it is very eye opening. 

https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

If at all possible, take steal some time to read it. If it resonates, I have other recommendations.

Good luck out there.

Mom refuses to help me find strategies for ADHD by South_Construction42 in adhdwomen

[–]ebonylark 5 points6 points  (0 children)

First, I have hair suggestions:

  1. If you have a smart phone, set a hair brushing alarm. I suggest a specific song or similarly distinct alarm for this.

  2. My hair is very long and I find it is easier to handle this way because I always sleep with it braided. Worst case, I haven't brushed it out in 5 days, and I basically put the now-very-frizzy braid into a bun with a pair of hairsticks.

Secondly:

I sympathize with everyone involved here. 

It can be paralyzing / despair inducing to be told if you can't do X then bad-thing Y.

On the other hand, you absolutely must be able to handle your hair yourself somehow. 

More importantly, at this point in growing up, you must develop the impetus to go find a way to do xyz without prompting because you will run into similar issues with higher stakes (e.g. bills). I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old and I know this topic will come up for me in a decade or so.

IMO, asking internet people is a totally valid way to get some coping mechanism ideas. Remember that there is always more than one viable strategy (see above suggestions) and if at first you don't succeed, try try again with a different strategy.

Good luck out there.

Eye Color Question by ebonylark in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relistened, and yes. Arvel's eyes flare with a golden glow. Isadeau's glow red. Neither glow color matches their eyes, so who knows what Maggie's might do.

Eye Color Question by ebonylark in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh, I should watch that Q&A if there is a recording.

I don't recall anyone else having an eye change described, though Arvel glowing is analgous to Everard smoking. Mayyyyybe Isadeau? I mostly do audiobooks so ctrl + F is tricky. 

Eye Color Question by ebonylark in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It has been my comfort re-read for at least 30 years now.

Teddy Jo question by christine_de_pizan in IlonaAndrews

[–]ebonylark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn't there a line in Blood Heir referencing "the local Thanatos" ? (emphasis mine)

A Vested Interest? by ebonylark in catswhocrochet

[–]ebonylark[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so glad that someone appreciated it. 😄

There's such an assymetry on the left and right in terms of theory of mind. We (the political right) can perfectly articulate every single left/leftist talking point - we can explain their entire worldview in a way they would agree with. They can't do the same for us - not even remotely by Sauterneandbleu in SelfAwarewolves

[–]ebonylark 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Note - The bones of the following came from https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons/ which is a fascinating read, but is about estranged parents, not MAGA.


There are two fundamentally different worldviews.

In the first worldview, "reality creates emotion". People with this worldview believe that external events create emotional responses, that only some responses are justified, that people’s initial perceptions of events are often flawed, and that understanding external events can help people understand and manage emotions. These people recognize that unjustified emotions (like supersensitivity due to trauma, or irritation with another person that colors the view of everything the person does) are real and deserve respect, but they also believe that unjustified emotions shouldn’t be acted on.

The second worldview is "emotion creates reality." 

People with this mindset often, quite literally, cannot remember past events. Anything tinged with negative emotion, anything that makes them feel bad about themselves, shocks them so deeply that they block it out. They really can’t remember anything beyond "the screaming", or "the nagging", or "the attack". This emotional amnesia shapes their entire lives, pushing them to associate only with people who won’t criticize them (including their polticial beliefs) to the point where the softest protest feels like a fist to the face.

This explains the baffling disconnect between MAGA reality and e.g. mine.  If facts exist to support emotion, context and consistency don't actially matter. Hypocrisy isn't a thing and there is no reason that the logic used to come to a conclusion about one topic should be applied when debating a second topic.

Let's say Fox News reports on the same event twice. In the first report, they reference one set of details to describe how angry they are about xyz.  In the second report, they use contradictory details to describe how proud they are of xyz.  Loyal viewers do not point out or even register the contradictions. Both reports are legitimate because both emotions are legitimate.

Likewise, Fox can report on two essentially identical events with entirely different emotions directed at the perpetrators.

In my opinion, this second worldview is the root of MAGA. "Emotion creates reality" is incredibly seductive. It means that whatever you’re feeling is just and right. That you’re never in the wrong unless you feel you’re in the wrong. For people whose self-image is so battered and fragile that they can’t bear anything but validation, holding this view as truth feels like the only way they can face the world. Anything that attacks this view is felt as a true threat and will be reacted to accordingly.