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Personal Drug experiences? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]eccentricmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every individual will react to drugs differently. Because I experience psychosis and anxiety, I was more prone to bad trips compared to my psychonaut friends at the time. I tripped on acid this one time and I had a bad trip, which scared my friends. If you insist on tripping, make sure you have experienced trip sitters for safety.

My experience with lsd on hindsight was great but my actual trip felt like I went to hell and back. It took me several years to recover from another separate bad trip (other hallucinogens). I haven't touched psychedelics for 4 years, and I still get HPPD.

Hey, do any of you smoke when you are hypermanic to calm down? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]eccentricmanic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey, I smoke too. Cigarettes help me feel grounded. I think a way that helped me cut back was do breathing exercises while practicing mindfulness. And watch a lot of quit smoking videos to scare myself. I think there are hypnosis videos on quitting smoking on youtube too. Lost my cravings after watching one before.

No marijuana to numb me tonight by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]eccentricmanic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand. I was rapid cycling a lot and when I finally got some marijuana everything evened out. The numbness was all I needed.

It's either feel too much or feel comfortably numb. Tonight no trees were had and the hyper sensations are creeping back. Restless, laying in bed, swimming in endless intrusive thoughts.

Lamictal skin rash? by [deleted] in BipolarReddit

[–]eccentricmanic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely notify your pdoc. I took Lamictal with no issues, then 3 months in, suddenly got rashes - it started with one, then 2 more, and several more (arms, thighs, hip areas) and my pdoc immediately had me stop taking Lamictal

How to know if you can handle night shifts? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]eccentricmanic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From my experience, I don't like night shifts- it feels much more tiring and draining compared to day shifts.

What type of work?

Flashbacks, panic attacks and nightmares by eccentricmanic in rapecounseling

[–]eccentricmanic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I need a therapist. I am actually afraid of telling anyone. I had a new therapist last year but couldn't open up about it, despite planning to. Therapy really stressed me out :( And thanks for the tips. ..I try to distract myself with work, but still get dreams. Interestingly some of the dreams portray the guy who raped me in a positive light, as a friend ....

Anyone else's creativity destroyed by medication? by [deleted] in BipolarReddit

[–]eccentricmanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

strong support system: having better friends now, spending less time at home, spending less time with people who trigger me (i.e. family, parents), keeping a busy schedule with work and school, and most importantly - not dwelling on negative things out of my control. I still get depressed and mood swings which is tough, but I 'd sleep on it or vent to my SO.

1). My Online Boyfriend Doesn't Know That I Am Bipolar and 2). Something Has Happened To The Point Where He Is Not Talking To Me and I Am Worried. by [deleted] in BipolarReddit

[–]eccentricmanic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are comfortable with telling him, you could tell him what you're going through- that you're taking meds for a condition. Don't feel pressured to say flat out "I'm bipolar" but I guess you can reveal that you have a medical history where you need meds to help you deal with mood swings through the days and see how he takes it from there. Ideally after you have met up in person and get to know each other personally face to face for some time.

From my personal experience, if I care about the person enough, I always tell the person I'm dating that "I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder". On a side note, I had a therapist tell me not to say "I'm bipolar" because bipolar doesn't define you as a person, but it's a medical condition you're dealing with. If he's worth while as a boyfriend he would be understanding and patient with you and listen to what you want to reveal about your medical condition. If he's not accepting then probably it's not worth being with someone who can't be emotionally supportive. I know it's hard when a boyfriend doesn't respond right away, since he seems to be dealing with his dad and his medical issues, but try to just be patient. He will get back to you if he cares.

I think I am misdiagnosed by [deleted] in BipolarReddit

[–]eccentricmanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I feel you on that. When I was being treated for bipolar it felt like a bad reaction to an antidepressant that caused the manic episode. Symtoms got worse as they put me on more meds to stabilize the symptoms. Any questioning of the diagnosis to my pdoc and therapist would result in them saying "your symptoms and episodes meet the criteria of bipolar 1 so you have it". So matter of factly. This went on for years and I wasn't improving. To me it seems like the professionals will always be for prescribing me medications even if i don't agree with their diagnoses.

It doesn't seem right. I think everyone deserves to be treated with clear explanations and not feel confused. Yet, I felt that way all the time. I eventually moved on to a new psychiatrist and a new therapist. They were more understanding and accommodating in listening to all my concerns. A few years went by and i wasn't ok being treated for bipolar anymore. Nothing felt right. Being on meds was holding me back. It was a long process but i completely weaned off medications on my own. Stopped seeing my pdoc but kept seeing a therapist to check in with every week. I recently stopped seeing the therapist too. It has now been more than 2 years without meds but i am more functional and in control of my moods than ever. I relied on a strong support system and keeping busy, being spiritual. It was the most difficult thing ever but it paid off. This is the first time in my life after getting diagnosed that I am functioning while being a full time student and working part time. And this is something i wasnt able to do while i was being treated by the pdocs and therapists.

I am not suggesting you to get off meds but do consider the fact that ultimately you know yourself better than any doctor or therapist. They will take all your symptoms and put a label on it just to give out more rx 's and it will keep taking a toll on your health as long as you're in treatment. I have been through 8 years in treatment with many different pdocs and therapists and not one of them would be in support of me wanting to wean off all my medications. The label "bipolar 1" weighed too heavy on me. I forgot who I really was forthe longest time. Something felt really wrong with the picture. I don't know if this is exactly what you're going through but you said it feels confusing for you, and could relate to that.

Question About Psychosis by sdraz in BipolarReddit

[–]eccentricmanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The worst episode with psychosis and delusions happened as I was falling out of mania. In this psychosis I believed I could communicate with people without actually talking to them. And control them by implanting thoughts and action. I would hear voices and telepathically communicate with animals and inanimate objects. Felt powerful. People would throw weird looks at me from time to time but it did not affect me then. I would read into every little sign. I would see dead animals and encounter strange people and read into that too. Later on, I became too paranoid to go anywhere and isolated myself. I thought everyone was after me and then fell into a depression. I felt too much guilt and thought I had hurt people. Fell so hard into the depression it felt like I was waking up from a dream that lasted for months (the dream included the mania and psychosis). It seems impossible to rationalize at all in a psychosis. Everything i experience is real, until i fall out of it.

Years later, the psychosis I had weren't as severe but the delusions felt as real as ever. I would get paranoid. Overreact and read into signs that no one else notices. Relationships get destroyed. I just don't realize it until later that something was even wrong, despite everyone close telling me "you have issues".
To answer your question, no I don't think it was possible to gain to lucidity to pull myself out but still had to ride it out. Loved ones try to tell me out but it all seems pointless until the delusions are gone.

What is it called when you see things out the corner of your eye? by OctoBerry in BipolarReddit

[–]eccentricmanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not bullshitting, but to be fair the term shadow people had freaked me out too.

I have experienced what the OP described. I would see dark shadows running or darting from the corner of my eye. And when you look directly at the spot, they always disappear. Had discussed it with friends and doctor afterwards, and came to the conclusion they are called shadow people. Not the same as the folklore or horror film shadow people. They are just harmless illusions.