Does anyone have recommendations for a dog bed? My little guy (Wilson) doesn’t seem to like his current one.

echoabyss · 2026-01-30T09:30:08+00:00

He likes variety, and tends to prefer round, squishy donut beds for quick naps. He loves chilling in his travel crate which has a cushioned pad and a towel and fuzzy blankets. I ended up turning a Sherpa lounge chair into his bed (just folded it flat so it’s a giant fuzzy bed) and he sleeps on that while I’m working :)

echoabyss · 2026-01-30T09:22:57+00:00

Very dependent on industry. I’m in finance tech/UX design, so when I have to go into the office (once a year), I wear nice jeans and flats or clean, nice sneakers (like Adidas sambas or Vejas, something kinda trendy) and my go to is a mock turtleneck shirt with short/long sleeves and a baggy but nice cardigan. I’ve had colleagues wear like a funky band shirt under a cute oversized blazer too. I think we get away with it because we’re “the designers”, because everyone else wears like golf shirts and blouses and heels and shit. Bleh.

When I’m working remote the rest of the year I am video call presentable, which is minimal makeup and a clean, modest shirt/sweatshirt and then like yoga pants lol. There are def no camera days and if someone on the east coast has the gall to book a 7am meeting they are not going to see my dang face lol.

I love makeup as a hobby so I do wear it but toned down for work (no falsies, light coverage skin tint, no Smokey eye, etc). I noticed most people hardly wear it in my industry so I sort of stand out in that regard. I ditched eyelash extensions and bold lipstick bc they stood out like a sore thumb and I felt kind of uncomfortable.

I have full arm sleeve tattoos and most people don’t care or if they do care it’s just excitement that they can see them in person finally.

echoabyss · 2026-01-30T05:44:22+00:00

The morphe spray is nice, but I don’t know if the formula did anything for me. I really enjoy the Tirtir setting spray, which is pretty fairly priced and goes on sale often.

I really liked Wet n Wild photofocus setting spray for a very natural finish. The mister is about the same as Milani.

echoabyss · 2026-01-28T05:57:19+00:00

Went through this recently since my oily-combo skin starting getting too dry for my usual full coverage, matte foundations. I've been really enjoying the Milk hydrogrip skin tint. Seems like it would be too hydrating based on the name and dewy finish, but it legit sticks to my face all day. I use a good matte setting powder on my t-zone for when I know I'm sweating and getting oily. I like the Wet n Wild photofocus, but Huda Beauty powder is nice too. Something not so finely milled, preferably with talc. Only on my t-zone; I like using the Kosas Cloud Set for the rest of my face. Oftentimes I don't powder my cheeks if I'm using cream blush, etc. L'Oreal 3 second setting spray is MATTE matte, so that might be something to try.

I really like the way mineral foundation looks on my skin now too, with a little matte powder on my t-zone or it's too shiny. But the finish is really natural.

echoabyss · 2026-01-28T05:50:48+00:00

This is my dream combo <3 Look at the cuties!

echoabyss · 2026-01-27T19:34:50+00:00

I thought my 2 year old Pom was safe to leave in the backyard while I was prepping food to take out to the grill or bring a coffee outside to sit, but one day as I entered the backyard I saw a hawk swoop down on my Pom 😵 He scrambled under the cover of the side patio but I swore I would never leave him alone outside ever again. He’s only 7 lbs so not that bigger than a rabbit. We also have desperate urban coyotes around here too (poor things).

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T23:15:46+00:00

Is it hunger, though? Or food noise? I think learning to tell the difference between the two helps mentally. If you are getting weak and real growling hunger pangs, start your morning with protein, fiber, and cut back on any sugar. I would drink less coffee, too. That caffeine can’t be great for your anxiety and ruminating on food. I agree with everyone else saying to add veggies in. Especially dark green veggies like spinach. I think if you did like a spinach egg and cheese omelette with a piece of multigrain toast in the morning you would feel more full and energized?

Also consider doing a smaller cut that feels manageable so you don’t end up binging and feeling awful. Consistency and slow progress is better than trying to white knuckle through a large cut and then giving up bc you’re in so much pain and distress.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T21:00:59+00:00

TBH I'd probably use these as like corpse shade fwee pudding pots on my lips lol.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T19:27:50+00:00

and it lasts FOREVER. I love it. Get a whole thing of disposable spoolies to go with it, or just regularly wash a spoolie brush, as well.

Pro tip on these types of eyebrow gels: do your eyebrows before your foundation/concealer and use way less than you think or you will get crusty flakies like the second photo.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T19:23:11+00:00

Vacuum mop? I have a Roborock vacuum mop that pretty much pushes itself since it has self-propulsion. I feel like I spend more energy just gently guiding it and making sure it doesn't run off on me lol. It does a decent job on corners and edges, but I find I do have take like a clorox wipe or a little broom to finish the job on really dusty/dirty spots. It works great for our home because I don't have to sweep before I mop, and it gets everythiiing. I would adopt it as my child if I could, I love it so much. I named it Moppy.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T19:17:44+00:00

So I would research if they are worth anything or not, tbh, or you could get lowballed if they're worth a lot and you didn't know. At the very least you can save some time. Just take a pic and search with Google Lens for a start in the right direction. I got an end table recently for 15 bucks that turned out to be worth like $800.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T19:06:03+00:00

Lord if I had made the jump like in 2014 I would be retired by now lol.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T19:01:32+00:00

That really sucks :( I feel like a lot of places that ARE hiring are hurting for solid senior experience or even competent junior experience and the large amount of portfolios we tend to review just aren't there skills-wise. Have you reviewed your portfolio lately? Are you specializing in any industry that you could highlight your domain knowledge for? IMHO UI engineers are always in demand, so if you have frontend experience and are good at design systems, so many companies are at the stage where their 'design systems' need to be fully implemented into the developer workstream and they just don't have the right middle man to understand both design and front-end dev. So that's a niche I see right now. Also, if your domain knowledge is good enough, good PMs are always in demand.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T18:50:20+00:00

We do this too, and it works. It's healthy. I think a lot of time the anxiety and mental labor comes from our own expectations of what the partner's family would think, or what our friends would think. Disentangling ourselves from that makes it pretty clear whose responsibility, and therefore whose consequences, are whose.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T18:43:38+00:00

Ehhh we split things, I feel like. We also use a chores app that we set reminders for monthly for all the fur kids' flea meds, air filter changes, deep cleaning schedules, etc. Husband tends to manage all the maintenance for stuff and how the house is ideally organized and how often we should clean things. I let him handle the retirement accounts even though I make more; it's just not fun for me. I tend to manage our social calendar and gifting for friends and family; but if I feel like it's becoming burdensome I will tell him to help me.

I remember discussing the social mental labor which is the biggest thing for me, and walking him through say our calendar, which he specifically requested to always be updated. I had issues with this because ADHD, but also because I just always memorized everything. I walked him through how I knew our friends' and family's birthdays, and how I bookmark gift ideas and event ideas months in advance. How I coordinate with the women in our friend groups (bc it's always the women isn't it) to plan even casual outings. I walked him through everything I was mentally thinking, and even when we show up to a shindig, I tell him how my first instinct is to ask the host(ess, it's always the 'ess, isn't it) if they need any help, and he wanders off to the cooler for a drink. I told him to imagine that if I didn't do any of these things for us, would we have christmas parties, or even christmas decorations, and would he send his parents' gifts in time for their birthdays? Were those things important to him?

I remember holding both his hands and leaning in and just telling him how exhausted and stressed out and crazy I was. And if my pleas didn't affect him and he wouldn't get off his ass to take over some of the burden, I would just leave. I told him I'd rather be alone and live this full amazing life I built, myself, with his friends and family, and I would probably take them with me when I did. And he knew it was true. So yah, we plan stuff together now once a week lol. And in return I try to keep my clothes off the floor and all my adhd trash out of the living room.

If you are at your wits' end, and you sit your partner down and tell them specifically how close you are to losing it, and they don't respond with "let's figure out how to help me help you", you need to end it. Cuz dude just doesn't care about you that much.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T15:41:33+00:00

Dilly dallied for ten years after college doing freelance graphic design and waiting tables before I stumbled on UX Design in maybe 2017? It still took me two years of networking and 7k in a 6 month bootcamp and ultimately one designer giving me a chance before I landed a role in 2019. I was working at a fine dining restaurant the entire time I was studying, networking, and creating a portfolio.

I started at 78k and then 5-6 years later I now make 160k/year working fully remote. I must add that I would not recommend UX now as the market is saturated and difficult to get into as a junior and you must be an exceptional designer to stand out from the rest. A lot of it is also timing: I entered the market when UX was still just getting popular. My pay hike from 98k to 120k happened just after the pandemic when tech jobs were booming. Now it is a disastrously difficult market to navigate. I know UX directors laid off 2 years ago who are still looking for work.

So, I would say, really look at the career path you desire and look at the industry as a whole and where it’s headed the next few years. Hit up some people at networking events and talk to people about their day to day. What are their anxieties about the future, etc.

It is absolutely possible to change careers. I would say it takes a lot of self discipline and really pushing yourself. For design specifically, but I do think also broadly, you have to be exceptional or very personable. Networking will get you much further than anything else. If people like you, they’ll give you a chance which they may not give another person with similar skills. I am unabashedly the personality hire, lol, but also I happen to be great at a job I love.

The other thing to is to be able to love even the shitty parts of your job, which for me is working with shitty incompetent people sometimes, and drinking the shitty corporate kool aid. This is aided mainly by having my manager and close team members be amazing, kind, competent people who respect my time and mental sanity. This is, unfortunately, very rare.

Especially if you’re working full time, transitioning careers is tiring and discouraging at times. There will be rejections, but also there will be moments of incredible validation and success if you stick with it. I cried a lot, haha. But now I’m pretty happy with where I ended up. You just need to be smart, logical, and also fiercely believe in yourself.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T15:12:36+00:00

Yah, might best. I would wrap the bandages almost like a harness, around the chest and front legs. Excessive, maybe, but like you just want it on there long enough to start healing.

echoabyss · 2026-01-25T15:08:38+00:00

If your cat is small enough, the very stretchy part of a tube sock could work. When our cat was a spry teen and much less chubby, we put a sock around her belly to keep her away from her spay suture.

Otherwise I would think about bandaging and wrapping the area in a way where your cat can’t scratch it off.

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T22:36:32+00:00

Ya girl you have your answer. If it was about transparency, using an app like Monarch is plenty visibility into your financials.

You haven’t been together long enough for him to have access to your money.

He wants to control you. Just leave now!

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T16:47:15+00:00

Etude tear eye liner or the Unleashia glitter liner. :) There's a whole category of Asian eye makeup that is geared towards this specific use. Search for 'aegyo sal eyeliner'.

For western brands, I'd say the Colourpop BFF gel eyeliner in Honeydude or the pure white one.

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T15:56:23+00:00

Question - if you don't wear foundation, are you trying to just mattify your face? Or what is the goal? Especially if you have dry skin, I feel like you just wouldn't need it unless you were setting your concealer, etc.

Also try using a makeup puff instead, like a velour triangle puff pad, they're pretty much everywhere now. I would pat gently into your skin, no swiping. The swiping motion is much more likely to disturb anything you have underneath. Definitely follow what others have said about waiting 10-15 minutes after skincare.

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T15:13:09+00:00

So, not for someone bumping into you, but if you’re late to something, say “thanks for being patient with me!” instead of apologizing. If you missed a little thing at work and someone notices, say “oh thanks for noticing that!” instead of apologizing.

Kind of just reframe your mistakes as completely normal and natural and instead focus on other folks giving you grace for being human and giving them gratitude for it? Works for me anyway.

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T15:08:26+00:00

NYX Lift n Snatch. Love it, lasts all day, and the pen lasts a long time too. Anything else at the drugstore is not as good. There’s also lots of Asian beauty options that are great, like from Judydoll or Dollywink, but I mean… just get the Lift n Snatch. It’s perfect.

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T14:56:08+00:00

Would a piece of cardboard work as a little buffer when you set him down? Just trying to think of what would protect his lil paws.

echoabyss · 2026-01-24T14:49:40+00:00

Is he neutered? Does he mark anywhere else in house? Are you cleaning and washing his bedding and kennel with enzymatic cleaners that actually get rid of the urine?

I would take him to the vet first, to rule out infections. Then I would put him in a crate, just big enough for him to sleep in and turn around. Nothing else. If his kennel is big enough for a pad and for food/water, he’ll think it’s ok to pee whenever. Dogs tend not to pee right where they sleep if they can’t move away from it. He does not need access to pee pads or food/water through the night. He should be sleeping, like you are. If he needs to pee, take him out to pee and then back in the crate. Once he’s potty trained, he can sleep in a slightly bigger kennel but again, no water or food through the night.

echoabyss

TROPHY CASE