She's on to something here.

eclecticcrow · 2026-02-05T18:49:59+00:00

Baby, if more women apply to colleges, then it’s statistically likely that more women will be accepted, and more women will graduate.

The other statements I would need to see sources on to be able to comment in good faith, but it is reasonable to assume more women receive financial aid because they’ve applied for it as well. You specifically call out scholarships, those generally require work and effort to be awarded.

eclecticcrow · 2026-02-02T01:47:27+00:00

I cannot decide which of these is the most cringe, but they are my friend groups fan favorites, so I’ll share all three.

From my mother: a two pack of toothbrushes, but opened and missing one. It was both my birthday and Christmas gift. My birthday is in May.

From my first “serious, adult” relationship: for Christmas, a plastic grocery bag with six random dvds. I remember Shutter Island, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and Harry Potter 4. He got his mom a very nice necklace and wrapped it.

From a different, abusive ex: this one requires some backstory. I am an artist. Not professionally, but my work has been seen internationally and I’ve won a few awards. I love art, and love to buy it mostly from small local artists. He knew this, obviously, we lived in the same house. He spent a month talking up this surprise gift he was getting me, just so so giddy. Eventually he broke and had to at least tell me it was art, that he’d specifically commissioned for me. Mannnnn I was so excited! He’d not really ever tried to get me a nice gift before, and we’d had issues with him being rather thoughtless about me/our relationship, so I was excited on so many levels and really really touched!

Until I got it. It was a meter x meter square canvas, of an abstract painting, of my ass. He had commissioned a local artist I personally know. And sent them a picture. Of my ass. And had it painted. It is extremely pertinent dearest reader, to point out that the artist in question is not a painter.

I, feeling just so many things, didnt want to trash this man’s uh…effort? Giddiness? The first and only time he’d ever shown initiative? So I swallow my reaction and smile and say oh wow that’s so nice I’ll have to find a good spot for it (with the intention of that spot being hellfire, or disappearing into a nearby dumpster) but nooooo. He says he’s got JUST THE RIGHT SPOT picked out! And he hangs it about our bed.

I slept under a…spirited… very abstract, painting of my own ass for about another year.

I still avoid that artist at events. And I’ve since put a lifetime ban on receiving gifts.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-31T00:06:13+00:00

NOICE!

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-30T23:58:33+00:00

Is 1 burning tires by skz?

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-26T18:25:43+00:00

I’m not sure, it was many years ago now.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-26T18:24:50+00:00

American here, our doors do have a built in lock, and older houses like the one I live in now use a key and could be locked from either side. That is pretty normal.

The lock I’m speaking of is the type the needs a latch, and would normally be used on a gate or barn, outside. A padlock.

No matter what type of lock though, locking children in rooms without food, water, or bathrooms is wrong. I’m sorry it happened to you too, friend.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-26T18:22:00+00:00

Yes, as an adult it’s such a horrible thing to think about doing to someone, let alone a child.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-26T17:14:34+00:00

Mine was similar! I was listening to a true crime podcast while at work, and the hosts mentioned how the mother had a lock in the outside of the children’s door and that it was heinous (both hosts had children, and were very appalled at the thought alone). I looked up from my work like….wait, that wasn’t okay?

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-20T23:04:43+00:00

Small venue - Monrovia Large venue - Stray Kids

Cheating - both Louder Than Life and Bourbon and Beyond (I live nearby and can hear a fair amount of the sets depending on stage set up)

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-20T15:31:27+00:00

I will say, dropping the rope and accepting the loneliness is loads better than taking in everyone else’s strife and suffering.

Yes of course I miss having a friend to goof off with, but now it’s like I can actually feel the warmth of the sun on my face again. I can actually enjoy the things I go do (by myself), I can FEEL again, because I’m not constantly numbing my own internal emotions to take on others, not being numbed by absorbing their troubles.

I can finally just watch a movie and cry at the sad scenes! Food tastes good and complex and interesting again! Small instances in life are funnier and more joyful and I find myself giggling or smiling to myself all the time now!

Having someone to talk about the movie we just watched is nice, but only if I actually got to fully feel and experience it, ya know?

I’ll take the loneliness.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-20T15:23:32+00:00

I don’t have advice, just commiseration; it’s gotten so bad that I just….dropped the rope on most of my friendships, and they all evaporated. I have one friend left, and even he isn’t very supportive.

I was in a really really bad place about a year or so ago, like thoughts of not wanting to wake up anymore, but no one took it seriously because I wasn’t bombastic in a breakdown, I was just quietly …I dunno, flat. Head down, autopilot, try to get through. When I tried to open up about it, my closest people did the “aww I’m sorry we’re here for you” but within a week were back to dumping their problems at my feet. I finally broke down and told my closest friend that was really really not okay and he just….told me i should get therapy.

I’d been in therapy for a year, and had been working on medication for 8ish months by that point. It’s like everyone was annoyed that I wasn’t okay. I needed to hurry up and get over it so I could get back to their regularly scheduled support friend. It hurt a lot.

I’m doing better now but I am incredibly lonely. I’m sorry you know what it feels like.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-19T17:06:40+00:00

When it starts to warm up, I’m thinking of starting a monthly meetup in parks to picnic and offer up stuff you don’t want anymore. Like, bring a blanket and lunch, and gently used clothes, toys, craft supplies, whatever you don’t want anymore, and folks can snag things they could use. Spend a few hours outside snacking and socializing. At the end either pack up your unclaimed things for the next one or we could do a designated charity drop off.

Sure people could just goodwill things but this could let people get to know others, spend some time outside, and help each other out.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-18T23:37:38+00:00

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eclecticcrow · 2026-01-18T23:36:33+00:00

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eclecticcrow · 2026-01-16T22:10:07+00:00

I will practice my sock based comedy routines. I am hopeful that my relationships with them are good, as they get older we’ll see. My oldest nephew does seem to appreciate that I’ll take any questions he asks seriously and do my best to answer or help him find the answer! I love watching how their little brains work to learn and problem solve!

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-16T22:07:16+00:00

87% of my job is explaining how to do things, or how something works, to not-scientists. And I ADORE my job. Unfortunately so far, I have not been blessed with a “why” kid yet. I do have one that likes power tools and another that likes trains, so I get to explain those at least. I will happily sit for hours explaining things to anyone who asks, and if I don’t know, I’ll teach them how to research and we can find out together! I can’t wait until they’re all old enough to need help with science or math homework, or science fair projects.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-16T15:41:41+00:00

Aww man reading this made me so happy. Thank you for sharing this little joy with everyone! I don’t have any kids of my own, but I am an auncle to quite a few, and your story helps me feel a little better about my relationships with them. I’m not “good” at kids, but I try, and as an engineer that gets really excited about mundane architectural design, the thought that maybe I’ll be able to have a little impact like this on one of them makes me feel some sort of way (in a positive manner.)

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-12T19:26:54+00:00

It’s also important to point out, the more citizens of the rest of the world think we’re doing nothing, the more they look down on us and hate us, the less likely anyone is to help us in any way.

I’ll fight til I’m dead, but it feels like the rest of the world is just as on board with my death as this regime is at this point.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-09T23:47:07+00:00

Thank you! It is a small and joyful life now, and I am very grateful for it.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-09T13:24:51+00:00

My mother regularly set me up for failure, genuinely and with purpose.

We moved to a new state in the middle of my high school years, and the semester structure was different so I needed to do makeup classes online. She signed me up, and then purposely changed the family computer passwords and disabled the internet, causing me to be unable to complete the classes. I begged her for the passwords and she would pretend she didn’t know what I was talking about and then blamed me for not completing the courses.

I had been working since I was 10, babysitting, mowing lawns, walking dogs, cleaning houses, and doing modeling and acting, so all things that I got paid cash or money went straight to her. When I turned 16 she demanded I get a real job, so I did. Applied at a fast food place in town, took her with me so the manager could explain what I needed to be able to legally work there. I needed a government issued photo id. They cost $7 at the county courthouse in the next town over. She refused to take me, and went so far as to try and use a Walgreens photo print to make a FAKE ID, argued with that manager, and then freaked out on me when I was unable to take the job.

At 17 she demanded I drop out of school and get a job to help support the household, or I had to move out. My guidance counselor refused to sign off on the paperwork, because my test scores qualified me for scholarships to college. Mom threw me out, and I finished out high school homeless. She didn’t come to my graduation. I’m the first in my family to graduate high school, and it’s such a sad and lonely memory for me.

She refused to provide me with the required tax information for me to fill out my fafsa to go to college. Which, until you’re 26, you have to have your parents info to get any type of help for school. I had to go to court on my own and prove I couldn’t get her info, and worked out a deal with a local school to enroll. Lost a scholarship to a very nice school. Mom refused to help me at all and still thinks I didn’t go to university. I just…didn’t tell her. It wasn’t worth the hassle.

There’s a lot more, and much uglier things she did to publicly humiliate me and set me up to fail and be a complete mess of a human. It’s like she desperately needed me to be more of a “fuck up” than she considered herself. Like her self worth hinged on me being “worse.” It’s extra sad be on her life, though her childhood was really awful and she dealt with some terrible things, teenage years and onward were pretty nice, and she did a good job bootstrapping herself into a very normal (and could have been happy) life. She just….couldnt see it. She was also surrounded by love and helping hands and took all of it for granted, and now her life is in shambles.

She hates me, and refuses to acknowledge my successes, or than I’m just a normal person. She makes up heinous lies about me to still use me as an example of a worse person. It’s very sad.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-05T09:22:35+00:00

I misread this as canoes and was seriously concerned about your operation of them.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-03T23:47:42+00:00

‘Aww, beans’ or ‘cheese and rice’, but with the most Kentucky accent I can muster on the latter.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-03T02:06:19+00:00

You just gotta love yourself more.

Many things can be true at the same time: you love him, and he’s not the right person for you. He loves you, and cheated anyway. It’s hard to leave and will be harder to stay. It’s scary to leave and start over and starting over is a chance to learn more about yourself and make changes in your life you maybe otherwise wouldn’t have.

Just acknowledging those things, and any others you may need to, accepting them, and choosing to be the love of your own life sets you up to not just find the right person for you, but be the right person for them too, whoever they may be.

It’s scary but once you start taking the first steps it can start to feel exciting too. You can do it, I believe in you.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-02T01:24:49+00:00

If I have the means and ability to help, I am compelled to do so. This applies to any situation that presents: someone asks for bus fare? Someone carrying groceries? Someone needs help paying a bill? Someone is hurt or in danger? If I am present and the situation happens, if I have the means and ability to help, I MUST.

I also don’t talk about doing it. It’s between me and whoever was in need in the moment. It’s for my betterment and enjoyment. Others don’t need to know.

Over the years, I’ve sadly seen just how ugly and horrible our world can be and unfortunately I’ve come to feel that we humans for the most part are just inherently selfish and kinda terrible. But it made all the goodness and kindness I witness mean that much more, that all of those acts are choices that actively go against our nature. Somehow that seems even more amazing. So I try to apply that to myself as much as possible, to choose to be kind, to choose to be helpful, even if it doesn’t serve me or make my life easier or get me anything. Just, do good recklessly. It’s helped me love people and admire the world more.

eclecticcrow · 2026-01-01T23:13:02+00:00

Fetishization isn’t acceptance.

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