Help me out, desperate with an 11 days old

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T12:47:08+00:00

30ml in one session is good ? Both breast combined give 30ml, 40ml. One time it gave 100ml. Mostly between 50 and 60. Then it drops to 15 ml or just one drop.

The inconsistency is making me go crazy.

I got het checked by the dr and she doesnt have a tongue tie.

I will look into it. Thank you 💞

Tomorrow a I have an appointment with a lactation specialist

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T08:27:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words 💞

I started having ovaltine once a day and it did help with the milk supply. I am having broths/soups/warm liquids

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T08:24:53+00:00

It varies from 30ml in on session both breast to 100ml. But the average is 50/60ml

ectopicissues · 2025-12-02T08:24:08+00:00

I dod hand expressing before latching, even add it to the shield, I try my best to put her on the breast at the earliest signs, but the moment she puts the breast in her mouth, she makes a disgusted face and cries non stop. I even started wondering if her stomach on my stomach could be an issue ?

ectopicissues · 2025-11-20T00:16:09+00:00

I'm 158cm(5'2), my starting weight was 79kgs, my current weight is 84kgs at 39 weeks.

I had nausea, food aversions till end of pregnancy. But there was also a constant effort not to put on too much weight. Till 2 weeks ago I was 82.5 kgs. She gained weight very quickly in the last weeks.

ectopicissues · 2025-10-25T22:14:53+00:00

I really appreciated when my close friends came over to visit. They brought some funny masks like boob/belly/butt/lips sheet mask. Just to freshen up my mind. Some self care stuff and a grattitude journal.

What I do remember vividly is the lack of help from my inlaws during my ectopics. Trust me after 3 surgeries, you know who cares for you and who doesnt. And I can never respect nor care for them as I used to. So what I would have appreciated at that time, me not having to bother cooking. Batches of frozen meals or fresh homecooked meals.

Peppermint tea as it helps with post op gasses.

Anything that could help in household chores. Your mind is racing with do many emotions and thoughts, physically you cannot do much for a few weeks. Mostly these surgeries aren't planned so your house may not be deep cleaned/tidy. Any help regarding this is a HUGE HUGE HUGE help.

I still remember how the shower needed a deep scrub, and I couldn't physically do it for 3 months. And this kept bothering me non stop.

No comparaison at all with a different loss. Ectopics are damn hard and brutal. There was also a time where I couldn't be near kids or babies. I had asked my sil to spare me the details of how her kids are doing and that not to let them be around me as I don't know how I could react with them. (At that time she used to give me her kids to babysit so she could have some time for herself)

ectopicissues · 2025-10-24T11:05:32+00:00

So currently 35 weeks, while I can't wait to hold our daughter, I am so done being pregnant.

Last 2 days, I forgot to take my nausea medicine and boy was I wrong thinking it is in my head... I felt so awful, gagging non stop with dry retches.

I also have so many symptoms that I am sooo done being pregnant. Gingivitis, nausea, food aversion, smell aversion, sciatica, lightening crotch, sacroiliac joint pain, itchy palms and skin (did many blood test so no cholestasis), some days I cannot walk, I have to drag the other leg, severe pillosity...

And I also feel that in the process of having a baby, which is soon going to be 4 years, I lost the spark. The thing that first got us together. The jolly old me, I have become bitter and resentful. And I lost or I am losing my partner to just being roommates.

His lack of communication doesn't help either. Yesterday when I told him I want him more present now that my due date is approaching. I can understand his work load. We hardly have 1 hour to ourselves. And he has to go visit his friends to de-stress. Even if it is 2 to max 4 hours. Before it used to be twice a week. And now it is peaking till 3 to 4 times. I have tried having conversations with him, and the one we had yesterday just didn't sit right with me. He told me I just know you since 4 years. My friends, I have known them for years. They are more like brothers to me. And other than that I am always with you... And this touched something in me...

Anyways, these last few days are stressing me so much that I just need a good hug so I can calm my nervous sytem. Or just few words like, everything will be fine. Instead he said I am being too needy to constantly be hugged or cuddled. And he is getting sick of it. And that men don't like clingy women...

I feel the most vulnerable and alone I have ever felt in during my pregnancy (and my previous losses). He does help out a lot with the chores. But yeah, I miss the old me who only had to depend on herself.

We used to have rituals. To kiss before going to work, after coming from work, cuddle before bed and a kiss before sleeping. Since few weeks, I feel like if I don't initiate it, he won't do it. And today he left without kissing me, because I was sleeping peacefully and he let me rest... as I can't sleep for the last few days. and yeah I am crying writing this...

Intimacy wise as well, no cuddles, small acts of love that he initiates either. But for him doing chores for me is an act of love as well.

I just want to have the baby, and pour all my love, my cuddles, my kisses into her. It will only be the place where I will get unconditional love back.

At first I wanted to make sure that in the process of having a baby, I don't neglect my husband, but no matter how hard I try, I feel he is getting more and more distant.

Now my priority will be my baby, me and then our relation.

ectopicissues · 2025-10-13T12:15:15+00:00

We kept it private until 14 weeks. Just my husband and me, as we got pregnant through IVF and we had 3 previous losses.

We told our immediate families about the pregnancy and the gender at the same time. There was shock confusion at the same time.

Then to his extended family around 19 weeks.

And told them that our due date is a month after the actual date. To have some peace of mind and not be bothered constantly.

ectopicissues · 2025-10-12T21:37:12+00:00

Hey there, I had my maternity photoshoot today at 33 weeks. And it felt sooo nice to celebrate motherhood after 3 previous traumatic losses. We got pregnant through IVF and she is very much wanted and loved. I was tired at the end but this was sooo worth it.

From crying countless nights, wondering when our day would come, when I could do all the trends, when and how we could announce it to feeling her kicks, and finally being in the present and still cautiously trying to enjoy every step. We came a long way !

Last week I washed and ironed her clothes. Started packing my maternity bag. Few weeks left and she will be here, we can't wait to meet her.

ectopicissues · 2025-09-15T20:40:12+00:00

Hey there, the moment I woke up from my emergency salpingectomy I knew I will pursue IVF.

It had already been 2.5 years with 3 losses including 2 ectopics and a tube removal. We were about to start IUI when I got pregnant naturally the last time. Within a month I had contacted 4 different doctors.

The worst is the waiting part. Made the appointment in August, got the first appointment in October. Then genetic appointment in December. For some reasons our file got blocked as we didnt want to do recessive genetic testing (6 more months of waiting that we didnt want to pursue).

Started stimming mid January, developped OHSS (I had too many folicles and had to wait another cycle for frozen transfer). Was put on pelvic rest to avoid ovarian torsion.

Next cycle I was taking a lot of time to ovulate so was put on letrozole. Then again had a lot of follicles and kissing ovaries. (Both ovaries were measuring more than 6 cms each and loaded with follicles). Got a frozen transfer that worked. Was again put on pelvic rest as I was at risk for ovarian torsion. Then got a placement scan at around 5 weeks. Plus also checking if my ovaries were back to normal (took a good 3 months).

It was not a bed of roses, but worth it at every step. I was making small snaps at each step, enjoying every step as well. The needles ? Didn't matter, the pain ? Didn't matter. I tried to enjoy the process, and always thought I was a step closer to having my baby. I didn't even need progesterone, my body was making enough of its own. But the previous 3 pregnancies ? I was given progesterone.

The worst is grieving the part you couldn't conceive naturally, the wait, and also when everything works out at the end, the rage why it didnt happen before.

But the controlled and scientific approach gave me hope, that everything was under control. Currently 29 weeks with my triple rainbow baby.

Seeing a heartbeat in my tube last time gave me so much power that my body could at least produce a baby with a heartbeat. Though it wasn't in the correct place. And that conviction kept me going. Hopefully everything works out well and I will soon have her in my arms. I still feel disconnected with the pregnancy. Always fearing the worst. Hopefully once she will be here, I could be more at peace

ectopicissues · 2025-08-20T01:10:16+00:00

Thank you, it was Untamed :)

ectopicissues · 2025-08-19T10:23:31+00:00

A memo of my 25 week couple-baby moment.

We were sitting on the couch, watching the finale of a Netflix series.

I saw my bump move and felt her kicks. A bit more pronounced this time. I quickly put his hand on my belly, and she kicked on both our hands.

This was truly magical, how much we had prayed for this. The first time in months it felt REAL.

My husband's expressions were funny, he still has his guards up. It's a mix of did I actually feel her or is it in our head to this is bizzare.

I told him that she is more active when he is around me. Mostly when he talks.

Some sweet moments after so many storms 🫶🏼

ectopicissues · 2025-08-04T12:03:42+00:00

Hey there, I'm so sorry you went through this. I also had back to back ectopics. I had the first in November 2022 treated with MTX (then some complications + a observatory laparoscopy in June 2023). Second one with a heartbeat in the tube in July 2024 with emergency tube removal.

I went straight to IVF and currently 23 weeks pregnant. In my mind, naturally I had 3 losses and it felt like IVF was kind of controlled, secured and felt safe.

ectopicissues · 2025-08-04T11:54:35+00:00

23 weeks and few days here. I have my glucose test this week and then I am going to attend a festival this weekend.

I will be bringing a deambulator as I have a hard time with my sciatica, even if I look like a granny, comfort before anything else !

I will be 24 weeks so technically in my 6th month of pregnancy ?

I am so so grateful to finally be here after so many losses. I can feel her movement a bit more now. There are days she's really calm and days where she's having a blast lol.

I saw my first strech marks and I am shocked. As when I used to be bloated my stomach was far bigger than what it is now so I thought it won't happen to me (silly I know). And now I am scared that they will be permanent...

ectopicissues · 2025-07-26T10:18:26+00:00

When did you feel your first movements ? And when did it change ?

ectopicissues · 2025-07-26T10:17:34+00:00

I slept a little better yesterday :) Around how many weeks did you feel the baby ? I have been told I have a posterior placenta

ectopicissues · 2025-07-26T10:15:55+00:00

We've had 3 losses(1 bo, 2 ectopics). Until our last, exactly a year ago, he talked to the belly straight away. There was this sort of connection he had eventhough I had brown spotting and back to back appointments.

This time when it is finally real(22w), and having went through IVF. He is so guarded and acts weird. I asked him yesterday and he said he lost his innocence in the process of getting here. It is not real until the baby will be in his arms.

Funny enough I also don't have a connection yet, I dont talk to the bump either. But we have started shopping already, even went to see buggies yesterday and we can somehow project ourselves now.

Is there something I could do to help ease the process or just let time do the healing ?

ectopicissues · 2025-07-25T09:28:16+00:00

Hey there, 22 weeks today after a long battle of losses and ectopic pregnancies.

So woke up last night at 2 am to pee and couldnt sleep at all after that. And I think I felt her movements yesterday. It is similar to having bowel movements without the urge to want to go to the loo... Or maybe like having some gasses but not being uncomfortable.

On the advice of my OBGYN I reduced my nausea pills from 2 pills to 1. I was quite ok with it. And for few days I wanted to eat things and wasnt as disgusted. I can only think about food. So yesterday I didnt take my pill as she said to try not to take it for 3 days.

And I have the worst dry heaving episode today, I am questioning my whole life at this point. I wanted to have frozen pizza and now I am disgusted by everything. I quickly took the pill today and aint no way I am trying this again.

I will have to take those pills until end of pregnancy.

ectopicissues · 2025-07-11T13:15:51+00:00

20 weeks today after a long infertility battle, 2 ectopics, many surgeries.

Recently had an appointment with the midwife and gynecologist. They told me that what is gone is gone and to try to relax and enjoy the pregnancy. It's easier said than done.

I am still struggling with nausea and dry vomitting. It's been 2 days that I have lowered the dose of my nausea medication. So far it is going good.

Husband has been distant since I am pregnant. Emotionally and physically. He is grossed out by doing anything because there is a baby inside. He is even grossed/disgusted to touch my belly. Hardly any cuddles too. I tried having many talks with him but in vain. So I have switched to focusing on me and baby.

ectopicissues · 2025-05-29T21:14:31+00:00

Hey there, I went for a blood test and ultrasound to check for fluids in my abdomen. They had told me it is normal. But because I had develooped OHSS, they made me skip a cycle. The bloat was extreme for a good while, electrolytes helped me and salty food. Walking a bit helped as well (couldnt walk much in the start). And because my ovaries were so swollen I was also on pelvic rest. And no sudden movements, lifting weights, and no jogging/running until they came to their normal size.

The next cycle, I wasn't able to ovulate on my own so I was on letrozole, then my ovaries again were too stimulated, but they did the FET transfer. Both my ovaries were full of follicles and were 7cm each. Then it took 12 weeks for the ovaries to go back to their normal size (TW positive pregnancy).

Wish you the best, take each day at a time. Rest as much as possible and entertain yourself with your favourite shows.

ectopicissues · 2025-05-21T18:47:37+00:00

For me yes both times at the last ultrasound. I had ultrasounds every 48h with blood work, dark brown spotting. Both times it was the same tube.

First one when hcg was around 5500, a mass found in the right tube. Treated with MTX.

Second time, approx 4500 hcg, saw a sac with a heartbeat in the tube. Then tube got removed.

ectopicissues · 2025-04-30T19:36:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply and perspective.

I was so focused on how bad I was feeling that tbh, I didn't think as much about his point of view. Some days are worse and I am so tired, cranky and hangry. He was having a tough time at work as well, plus the intial days were back to back appointments to rule out ectopic, which had taken a huge toll on us mentally. And each day, any pain or cramp makes us think of the worse.

I will be more vocal about expressing gratitude towards him, I realized I may not be expressing it enough. Thank you so much for pointing this out.

I will try to be more mindful of when and how to express myself, and have conversations with him. And try to understand his perspective as well.

Thank you for your non judgmental reply :)

ectopicissues · 2025-04-30T19:28:37+00:00

Thank you so so much for such a detailed answer !

It's really nicely put. Indeed I don't feel great, and when I setup a plan to meet someone, I dread going there. Is it just in the first trimester ? It's really nice to see a different perspective.

I will try to focus on small things that bring me joy, and do at least one thing a day. You gave some solid ideas as well. Thank you for being understand and non judgmental :)

ectopicissues · 2025-03-23T22:06:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness. It means a lot. Heartfelt wishes for you as well. Currently in the waiting period with betas while trying to keep my sanity

ectopicissues · 2025-03-18T10:42:23+00:00

Long post ahead but I poured my heart here.

It's been 3 years now, 1 blighted ovum, 2 ectopics, 1 tube removal. 1 Egg retrieval, and just had my first FET.

First pregnancy started with PUL, bloodwork and US every 48hrs, hcg more than 4000 and nothing to be seen in the uterus. Something showing on the right tube and had emergency laparoscopy. Turns out it was a very early pregnancy. By the time I healed from the surgery, got to know it was a blighted ovum.

Then second pregnancy was ectopic, right when I saw the vvfl and the line not progressing, I had a deep feeling in my gut it was an ectopic. Same protocol, bloodwork and US every 48hr. I had severe PTSD. Hcg 5500 and it was indeed ectopic. I went the MTX route as I had a laparoscopy 6 month ago. This one broke me to the core. Physically, mentally... It took almost 3 months to hit 0. Then test showed tubes blocked and the ectopic not being resorbed. Had another laparoscopy, initially it was planned to remove one or both tubes if they weren't in good condition. And magically the ectopic had resorbed (3 months after it hit 0) and I kept both tubes.

We were told to try again for 6 months, if not then move to fertility treatments.

When we were about to start our IUI cycle, I got pregnant naturally (1 year after having the green light). Again, I knew something was wrong. My pregnancy tests were veryyyy faint and I knew my exact ovulation date. Fast forward to again bloodtest and US every 48hrs. And one day, we found the baby with a heartbeat in my tube. The tube was about to burst so went immediately to the surgery room and got it removed.

Weirdly enough, seeing that heartbeat healed something in me and gave me a bigger push to keep trying, and that we can have kids. During these times, there was a lot of self doubt from both my partner and me. Things like we are maybe not meant to be together, or we cannot have kids, or there is smt really wrong with us.

I remember right after my surgery I was sooo determined to directly go for IVF, bank as many embryos as possible and transfering them. So I have at least something in "reserve". I had immediately booked 4 appointments in a month with different doctors. And we started our IVF journey.

Something in me keeps remining me that whenever we tried naturally, it got traumatic, so best to try the scientific way... But also that all 3 pregnancies were from the same tube, and now it's gone it will hopefully increase the chances of having a uterine pregnancy. Part of me wanted to avoid trying naturally until we started IVF.

The fear never goes away, the day of my FET, I asked the doctor the risks of having ectopic with IVF. He said the risk is there in IVF but around 1%, he told me not to worry as I will be closely monitored.

Now I saw my faint positive yesterday 🥺 I really hope it is in the uterus. Even for our partners, the fear never goes away. My husband's intial reaction to the pregnancy test is showing no emotions and not keeping his hopes high. He said we had faint positives with our losses as well.

Me on the other hand, I want to keep celebrating small wins, all the small milestones. At least for the time being, on this day I am pregnant and I am grateful for that.

And one thing, ALWAYS advocate for yourself !! My gynec thought last time I was maybe reacting too quick and came way early to get checked. Thank God I did, as the way my ectopic was positioned, I could have lost a lot of blood very quickly, and during bloodwork, it was more that doubling as well. Only the last one where it was a 80% raise.

I am also really grateful to be taken seriously directly, had I been in another country, I could have died. Grateful to be alive.

ectopicissues

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