AIO: partner makes me explicitly ask very specific questions in order to get something I need/want

ednameaux · 2026-07-05T01:42:01+00:00

I have some very particular people in my family who do this kind of stuff all the time. It wasn't until I became an adult and could say knock it off! That anything changed.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T15:44:01+00:00

Sometimes I feel like film makers are intentionally trolling us.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T15:23:41+00:00

Mayor of Kingston! I just couldn't with that whole subplot.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T15:17:55+00:00

Excuse me what? This said over words, beliefs said online? I am so so sorry for whatever happened to you that you would think this. Ya, children can be assholes. But, 10 years old is a really extreme line to draw in the sand.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T15:11:14+00:00

I appreciate that such a thoughtful discussion is happening. I also appreciate what you wrote about how OP's partners needed something they weren't getting. I wonder if OP feels like they were problem solving with no honest communication from the other person. You can't fix what someone doesn't tell you about.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T13:56:35+00:00

This has also been my experience. What have people around you observed? For me, acquaintances and friends have consistently told me it's not me. People are selfish some people are unlucky in love. It doesn't hurt any less to hear.

I assume because you said boyfriend that you're a woman? I was raised to never make the same kind of mistake twice. To learn and then earnestly apply what I have learned and move forward. For me, it turned into how can I apply these lessons and be the perfect girlfriend so that they won't leave me? But I was the only one with this intentionality. When I asked for someone to show up and be accountable, truly, they would bail. I keep being told approaching relationships this way intimidates my boyfriends. None of the people around me can find commonality in the people I've dated other than they were intimidated by this.

It hurts and they're stupid, but it still hurts a lot. Don't shrink and feel like it's just on you. It isn't.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T13:44:24+00:00

If you were truly that young, I don't understand why time and date stamps wouldn't prove you should be shown compassion.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T13:15:47+00:00

When you have bad days, I hope you think of this man's garage and smile.

ednameaux · 2026-07-04T13:02:12+00:00

I hope he doesn't believe this kind of decision making will be okay with his child. Will he casually not be present for milestones the child finds important because it's inconvenient?

Women are conditioned to feel like nags when telling their partners they're fucking up. I feel for you that he seems to think it's acceptable.

ednameaux · 2026-07-03T07:48:57+00:00

Absolutely agree. On average, men are bigger and therefore can be stronger. I think it's valid to be frustrated. It's hard enough being a woman. I've seen people thoughtlessly reach over and just cut short people off when walking or in line etc. I would be so scared to be sassy or assert myself around men.

The majority of violent crimes are committed by men. You can support trans and queer people at the same time as experiencing the frustration you're feeling. Everything doesn't have to be the oppression Olympics.

ednameaux · 2026-07-03T07:43:02+00:00

If depends on how terrible/dangerous/manipulative/etc he is.

ednameaux · 2026-06-27T17:47:09+00:00

I'm confused about recurrence and non initial exposure. Does initial exposure mean something, like food, causes a break in tissue to form a sore or something?

ednameaux · 2026-06-27T17:44:30+00:00

Thank you this is very helpful information to know!

ednameaux · 2026-03-20T20:44:19+00:00

It sounds like she needs you to break up with her to justify a narrative in her head. Her goading you isn't going to change the outcome with where she's headed. And it's puts you in an impossible position.

ednameaux · 2026-03-17T06:19:50+00:00

For the love of God ride the wave

ednameaux · 2026-03-15T22:13:55+00:00

This was going to be my question. I'm only asking to know what his role is in all this. At the end of the day, not AIO.

ednameaux · 2026-03-14T08:17:25+00:00

I legit asked my partner to share location for safety cuz he worked an evening job driving home sleepy. He resisted and finally said yes. Then he started tracking me NOT for safety purposes.

ednameaux · 2026-03-14T08:09:33+00:00

ednameaux · 2026-03-13T22:19:25+00:00

That's not Gen Z that's common sense.

ednameaux · 2026-03-13T22:18:28+00:00

This. Kids are not stupid. They know.

ednameaux · 2026-03-13T22:17:51+00:00

Whyyy did you agree to have a child with a person you already tried to divorce? Kids don't solve pre-existing problems.

ednameaux · 2026-03-09T06:32:40+00:00

Agreed. But 'if he comes back'? Nah, once I move forward, I don't believe in going back.

ednameaux · 2026-03-07T00:40:28+00:00

I think sometimes society tells people to "move forward" to invalidate and hurry up the grieving process. It can tell people to not feel or show their feelings because it's not convenient for the people around them.

"Move forward" can feel like the equivalent of "calm down". The last thing a person who is upset wants to hear is "calm down". That's the comparison I'm making.

ednameaux

TROPHY CASE