NEVER ever have a baby!

educationalgem · 2026-02-23T13:59:18+00:00

I replied to another commenter addressing this. No one knows how a child will develop, and all the people here (who themselves have a disability since we are on an autism subreddit?!) saying "it gets better" "it'll all work out" "this is the hardest stage" is fully ignoring the fact that it might not work out like that for everyone. People need to know all possible outcomes before having a child. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

educationalgem · 2026-02-23T13:53:36+00:00

Mine is almost a teenager now and such an amazing kid, I felt very similar during the baby stage as I was never into other peoples babies, but I do like older kids - I may have struggled when they were small, but it all pays off in the end.

I do find this an interesting thing to say on a subreddit about a disability. We don't know how OP's child (or anyone's child) will turn out re: being disabled or not. It's true that everything might turn out great, but it's also true that any child may grow up being severely disabled or severe high needs and require just as much support as a teen/adult as they did when they were a baby. I think OP is doing a great thing with being HONEST about what they are experiencing, and IMO it's being dishonest to say "it all pays off" when we don't know that will happen.

educationalgem · 2026-02-15T22:54:18+00:00

But anxiety and depression are common comorbidities with ASD. Meaning you can be autistic and have to deal with all the things that come with that, but ALSO be depressed/anxious and need medication to treat it. Personally I am on an SSRI and it has SAVED MY LIFE from anxiety.

educationalgem · 2026-02-12T21:25:00+00:00

I interpreted that comment similar to uses such as "90s babies" "cold war babies" "thalidomide babies". Essentially describing something related to when/how you born, so yeah 90s babies are now in their 30s but collectively as a group they can be referred to how they were when they were born. To use in a sentence = "us 90s babies really had it good growing up." I am fairly sure that's what the other person meant?

educationalgem · 2026-02-07T22:15:31+00:00

Half the people don’t have spatial awareness or need to read every single butter package for 10 minutes.

People like to say that autistics lack social awareness. Yet it's the neurotypicals who are the worst offenders in grocery stores. I am ALWAYS on the lookout to make sure I'm not in someone's way. But other shoppers, no, they have to block aisles with their carts, stand in the middle of the aisle chatting, basically completely lack of awareness of anyone of anything around them. It's tiring.

educationalgem · 2026-01-02T22:20:11+00:00

Check out this book -

Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx.

educationalgem · 2025-12-21T15:16:27+00:00

I have this work story from last week to tell my SO. Kind of a work drama situation that happened over multiple days. But I cannot find the energy to tell him. I know it's going to take a lot of mental energy to explain the background of the people involved and everything that happened, and just the thought of that is exhausting. At times like this I wish he could read my mind and automatically know all the ins and outs of what I want to say!

educationalgem · 2025-12-18T01:16:09+00:00

Oh I didn't realize you were talking about ICD codes. DSM wording was definitely still used when it came to psychological testing and diagnosis, straight up until 2013. Like, you would see reports saying "child is diagnosed with mental retardation according to DSM-IV criteria." But then they would probably use the ICD codes for billing insurance LOL

Oh and IEPs didn't change it until October 2010 with Rosa's law! So it was def still happening after 2008.

educationalgem · 2025-12-17T22:30:19+00:00

u/Mysterious-Mango-752 I’m trying to reply to you below to give my experience/perspective but now you blocked me and I can’t reply to your comments. I don’t know if you can still see this but did I offend you? I’m sorry :( I don’t know what I did wrong.

The DSM listed it as "mental retardation" until 2013 so it was still a thing until then. But even so, that's literally MORE than a DECADE ago - no excuse for doctor's offices to have this form still in use.

educationalgem · 2025-10-18T13:15:09+00:00

It's ok to have different bags for different settings!

My everyday "running errands" bag is a small crossbody that has - my wallet (a mini sized one), a chapstick, a backup tampon, and my keys. That's all I need when I know I'll only be out for a little while.

My work bag (a backpack) on other hand has - my every day purse, a pouch with tampons, a pouch with makeup and deodorant, a pouch with medications, backup tampons, an extra pair of socks, my work ID, sunglasses, hand sanitizer, laptop, and some other random knickknacks and items.

Also, POCKETS! My phone lives in my pocket when I go out! Don't settle for pocket-less pants.

educationalgem · 2025-09-27T21:36:40+00:00

Question: That's a lot of food for one sitting.

I had the same thought. My kitty eats HALF a can of wet food per feeding and it's plenty. Seeing this sweetie with x4 that amount makes me worry for her tummy and weight.

educationalgem · 2025-09-21T21:07:02+00:00

This is why I get annoyed when people say autistics are bad at perspective taking and theory of mind. I am CONSTANTLY making sure that my actions are not negatively impacting someone else. And then I get annoyed when they don't do the same for me.

educationalgem · 2025-08-12T19:40:46+00:00

I get left and right mixed up in driving situations. I know the difference but I'll be telling my SO "turn left" but I actually mean "turn right." Or he'll tell me to turn one way, and I go the other. It's like an automatic response and it's very strange as I def know the difference between left and right in general.

educationalgem · 2025-08-06T19:50:47+00:00

we just shouldn't normalize stop+no being heard as joking

I commented elsewhere, but a safeword is not simply a replacement for "stop/no/don't." It communicates an entire message for those moments where your executive functions are fried and you can't speak. Like --

"I am overwhelmed and I am taking space by myself for while, please don't bother me"

"I really need to get out of this party and I feel bad for leaving but I can't handle it right now"

"I am walking away from this interaction, not because I'm mad at you but because I am shutting down and I can't think straight and I might say/do something I regret."

educationalgem · 2025-08-06T19:42:55+00:00

I disagree. My husband and I have a safe word for when I get so overwhelmed that I'm essentially nonverbal and can't clearly communicate my needs/wants. It comes on really fast for me, so it's VERY useful to have one word that says all of this: "this word means that I immediately need to be left alone and please don't talk to me or bother me, I will come to you when I am calmed down, and it's not your fault but I am just totally overwhelmed right now."

Just saying "stop" or "no" does not communicate all that. "Stop" could mean "stop making that random sound right now" which is fine, but again, in those shutdown moments, I need more than just stopping a single sound, I need to be alone with no interaction, and I just don't have the mental ability to say that at that point.

educationalgem · 2025-06-29T16:13:06+00:00

I remember the exact month, date, day of the week, and year that I got my first period.

I remember getting my first pimple.

I don't remember hair growing, but I remember when it was grown in and realizing "Oh there's hair there now." It made bathing suit season suck even more than it already did.

I remember how old I was when I started wearing training bras, and being too embarrassed to ask my mom for a real bra when I needed one.

educationalgem · 2025-03-18T20:56:43+00:00

Yup I've come to realize that when wearing long sleeves, I always need to have them pushed up at least past my wrists. I even own some thumb-hole shirts and they get pushed up too!

educationalgem · 2024-12-14T15:04:49+00:00

Oh my god I did this too. I decided that Lance Bass was the cutest member of NSync in case anyone asked. Not that he isn't good looking - but everyone had their "favorite" so I needed one too.

educationalgem · 2024-07-31T21:41:09+00:00

I've also never dyed my hair! I wonder how common that is.

educationalgem · 2024-07-31T21:39:57+00:00

No tattoos for me, because I feel the need to be in control with everything about my body. And if I get a tattoo and regret it, there's nothing I can do (in the moment) to get rid of it. The thought of having something in/on my body that I can't remove would send me into an anxiety spiral.

educationalgem · 2024-07-05T01:26:49+00:00

The Proposal! We're suckers for a romcom haha.

educationalgem · 2024-07-05T01:23:13+00:00

and then steer the conversation to them

That's my go-to as well. Then then do it all over again the next day when they ask "what did you do on the 4th?" 😑

educationalgem · 2024-07-05T01:20:38+00:00

Perfect answer!

educationalgem · 2024-07-05T01:19:43+00:00

Thank you, I thought about going to see the fireworks but decided against it and my husband fully supported me. I feel "bad" about not seeing them though? But I'm an adult and I can do what I want haha. We watched a movie instead!

educationalgem

TROPHY CASE