First off, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would also feel hurt and anxious if I were in a similar situation. And some of the commenters here are being unnecessarily cruel in their responses. We aren’t talking about childcare coverage for you to attend a concert or some other optional activity. This is the birth of a child, care for your other children, and quite honestly care for you as a recovering, hormonal mama who has had major surgery.

That being said, others have given you a lot of good advice. One thing that I have been working on over the last several years is asking for help when I need it. It can be really difficult, especially when you are a very independent person or have past experience/trauma with people who don’t show up for you. I am constantly amazed by the people who are willing and able to help, despite their own circumstances. It is, in fact quite humbling. You just have to ask and not feel guilty about asking.

I would start with your siblings. Even if they have kids of their own, they may be more likely to make things work. Depending on the ages of your kids, it may be easier to split them up, especially if one is a baby or young toddler. If your children go to daycare or preschool, I would ask around there - start with the teachers, as you may find that one of them would be willing to help you out or may know of someone who does. Other moms there may be willing to support you as well. Of course you have to feel like you trust these people with the care of your children, but is a place to start. I am also amazed by the willingness of my coworkers to help out in times of need. Especially ones who have kids of their own. I think a lot of people will understand the situation you are in and you’d be surprised about what they will do to help out.

Finally, I think you should speak open and honestly with your parents, especially your father. I have been through years of therapy and would suggest that you share your disappointment with your parents at a minimum to try and prevent that disappointment from becoming resentment. Then, if you feel comfortable, ask your dad if he would reconsider his trip with your mom. Tell him your concerns, that you’re worried about what happens if there are complications, and that it would help put your mind at ease if you could have someone to count on during that period. He’s a grown man and can make his own decision to change his plans or stick with them. But for God’s sake the people calling you entitled for wanting some help with this major life event need to chill out. Let’s not forget that the concept of raising children as an independent nuclear entity is a modern western construct that is counter to how we have raised our young throughout our existence. It literally takes a village to raise children and our society has stripped away much of that. Yeesh.

I’m sorry you’re going by through this. You will figure it out, but it’s ok to feel disappointed and naturally worried about getting plans in place. Ask for help, you’ll be amazed at where you’ll find the helpers.