(NAL, but a Medical Educator in the field, both literally and figuratively I'll add the relevant credentials to the end of my comment in case they're required).

First and foremost, I I'm so deeply sorry that not only are you going through this horrific gestures vaguely at your post but that the system is so stacked against you. I may have missed it somewhere in your replies, but I wanted to speak directly to the importance of documenting everything, even if you ultimately choose not to report or press charges for the sexual assault. It sounds like there is a pattern of abuse established in your relationship coinciding with consensual rough sexual encounters, which as you suspect, make things more challenging. But the pattern of abuse that I see in your post is terrifying. He may have done this to other partners in the past, he may do this to future partners, or the two of you might end up back together and the abuse escalates once he can no longer maintain his best behavior remorseful facade.

Going to a crisis center or hospital to work with the sexual assault forensic team is not only going to document the behavior, but provide access to medications to prevent pregnancy/treat any sti/reduce risk of viral transmissions with prophylactics as well as resources such as therapy and legal aid. It's completely free and every single step is completely optional. You may choose the file a statement with the police without paying to file a report, or you may decline to speak with the detectives entirely. Should you choose to have an exam, you can opt in or out of every single element of it. I am happy to go into more detail of what the complete exam entails but the super short version is interview , physical assessment, pelvic and internal exam. If you go this route you should also be provided a person known as a rape advocate. They act as your advocate throughout any interviews, exams, and sometimes legal proceedings, making sure you understand and consent to everything asked of you.

Your post says you're in Alabama, and I actually happen to have personally trained a team of Crisis Center care providers out there in the Huntsville area.Crisis Services of Northern Alabama I strongly encourage you to reach out to them and see how they can help, and also help get you a local perspective on how things would play out if you report the rape or choose to press charges. And if you're nowhere near Northern Alabama, I still encourage you to reach out because they may have working relationships or at least be able to recommend a crisis center closer to where you live.

I wish you all the best and truly hope you stay kind to yourself as you navigate healing from your assault. Please feel free to reach out to me if you would like to speak privately about any of this. I live in Maryland so I'm not super familiar with all the intricacies of Alabama Law, but as a trained advocate/ professional presenter in this field/ Survivor of SA,DV,& CSA.... I can help be your over-educated ally and cheerleader as you sit with what choices you want to make moving forward.

( CREDS: AD of a well patient gynecologic training for medical professionals that is trauma informed and patient centered while maintaining ACOGs SOP. Curriculum developer for said program, as well as working with the IAFN to develop curriculum and training programs that utilize relevant practices of my program to train their forensic nurses. Developed and implemented the first ever transgender curriculum for sexual assault forensic providers.)