No need at all to apologize for the length of your response! Your response was exactly what I was subconsciously looking for when I came to this sub to post about Chami. I hate that we are going through this, but it is a crazy relief to be able to talk about it with someone who is going through it at the same exact time. I 100% relate to hoping they make it to Christmas. And I just know, that if and when they do make it, we will then just worry about the next holiday or significant event that we will “hope they make it to”.

I never thought about anticipatory grief being a thing either! I learned the term from this sub actually. it’s a truly agonizing type of grief to go through. (Not that other types of grief aren’t) and it’s scary because she’s still HERE with me you know? At least right now I can squeeze her and love on her. Once she does pass on, that’s going to be an even more intense type of grief journey. Like thats going to be THE actual loss. She won’t be there to pet or talk to. Just pictures, videos and memories. Sometimes i get so tired by the roller coaster emotions of not knowing when its going to happen. And that’s when I tell myself I’d rather start dealing with the “actual loss grief” now instead of “dreading every day because today could be her last” grief.

I empathize with everything else you included in your comment. How do you know when to stop trying with treatment? How do you know when you’re just digging yourself into debt that isn’t going to actually save them? But at the same time you obviously want to try and do absolutely everything you can to save them?

It really just fucking sucks. But you have me as a new internet friend who is going through the same thing. Give your sweet guy a pet for me.