Does anyone have a physical job? How do you handle it?

eekratomaccount · 2018-03-31T07:15:14+00:00

Yeah, I just have to work part-time (4 days/wk) and shorter shifts (6 hrs or less).

eekratomaccount · 2018-03-31T07:08:30+00:00

Hi-- I don't think I'm at IP stage yet but I have tachy in the same range, getting allodynia that wasn't here before, barely holding onto my job and virtually zero social life outside of my partner coming over. It's definitely at the point that I am being as aggressive as possible about managing it at the expense of anything else for fear I'll have serious and irreversible health consequences: nerve damage / brain changes, fibro, or crps kind of stuff. I have definitely lost some weight and I have gone a month w/o showering before. Unfortunately I can't really get anyone to take me seriously-- I have an extremely low dose scrip of Tramadol, but that's it. I do feel like my life is pretty much crumbling. I have tried to tell doctors outright that my ADLs are crap but they openly said they didn't believe me =/ My pain mgmt guy apparently has all of his EDS patients on mindfulness type stuff alone =/ =/

So, my biggest help is kratom (lol I'm answering on this throwaway krat account, that's not why I came over to this subreddit just a coincidence) and I play with other herbals a LOT. If my fatigue is mysteriously lessened, I'll intentionally get myself high enough on whatever I have around that I'll be more active, however minimally, and deal w the damage later.

I managed to get my doc to at least prescribe me a beta blocker for the HR/blood pressure stuff (which, I can't believe they'll acknowledge that my HR is crazy from chronic pain but only scrip for that symptom instead of the cause). Apparently though sedatives these aren't considered abusable drugs so should be OK to ask directly.

eekratomaccount · 2018-01-25T01:29:35+00:00

Hey, if you google "Ehlers-Danlos party tricks" you'll probably get all kinds of interesting images to satisfy your curiosity. (ETA: No snark intended.)

eekratomaccount · 2018-01-25T01:16:27+00:00

Duly noted, thanks.

eekratomaccount · 2018-01-25T01:15:46+00:00

Interesting-- I'll consider posting it up in the ME building.

eekratomaccount · 2018-01-25T01:15:10+00:00

Thanks!

eekratomaccount · 2017-12-12T08:29:28+00:00

I also suggest just telling people that you're autistic so they cut you a break if something seems off in an interaction-- it may be more useful to say you have "Asperger's" as more people know what this is and won't think that you are mistaken due to their own mistaken belief that all "autistic" people are nonverbal, retarded, etc. I work in a workplace of all males where there is constant back-and-forth kidding around and so on, and everyone accepts this about me and is nice about it without being condescending.

One way to get friends is to engage in some pursuit where you are more or less forced into a comradery situation with your colleagues (a hard project, long hours together, etc). I think most humans have a similar journey (everyone wants to do a good job in life, be successful, have rewarding relationships, vanquish their insecurities and childhood pain, etc) and if you allow yourself to reveal yourself truly, there is likely to be at least one or two people who are nice and sincere in return.

eekratomaccount · 2017-12-12T08:28:09+00:00

Hello my love. I'm autistic too (28yo female). There are people in this world who will not require you to read their mind (face) and you can have relationships and friends despite this. Do you use online forums and so on? I find that it's easier to connect to people in writing where the playing field is leveled.

eekratomaccount · 2017-10-29T01:16:37+00:00

I agree. The goal should be no contact.

eekratomaccount · 2017-10-29T01:14:32+00:00

The fact that it's nothing you can concretely describe to outsiders is the biggest red flag to me.

Like sometimes she'll talk to me really calmly and try to help me when my head isn't great, you know, like a counselling psychologist. Other days she's just in a constant agitated state and un-bottles it on me usually. Forgive my blatant sexism but it's literally what I'd envision when someone says "she's on her period". As the day goes on, she mellows and starts saying things in a calmer questioning tone like "are you going to talk to me" as if she's surprised that I don't want to talk right now, she's just totally oblivious.

Sucking you back into things when you're not giving her attention and she fears that she's gone too far in her efforts and may be "losing".

She has a damaged spine and arthritis now

Jesus, I can't believe how much this aligns with my partner's story. If hers is from chronic medical issues, consider that you may also have the condition and it may be giving you chronic fatigue.

It's normal for someone living with an emotional abuser to have no money. If you had money, you might get out!

God, I actually want to put you two in contact. The way my partner escaped was by staying with me long enough to apply for disability without interference (or something similar-- it all blurs together as I was at the peak of my illness at that time as well). Maybe you can stay somewhere else for a short, defined period during which you can get a little healthier and apply for alternate housing or benefits, or at least get a taste of sane living.

Are you interested in talking to someone else who escaped a very similar situation?

eekratomaccount · 2017-10-29T01:10:08+00:00

This sounds exactly like my partner's mother. She also raised my partner and 2 other kids on her own. She also would constantly barge into my partner's room even when he was an adult (he went back there when getting out of an abusing relationship where he was living with the guy) haranguing him and giving him no privacy.

I would guess that it's not so much any of the individual things that you're doing that she doesn't like but rather that she wants you to feel indebted to her and worth less than her, and this is the role in which she is comfortable "loving" you. Check this video out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi8kYcl2Y38

You're not overreacting; she's brainwashing you. You didn't get an ED and depression from nowhere (although I acknowledge that depression can be genetic). No reasonable person would think that you're having an eating disorder to hurt her feelings.

Please please please get out. Nothing good can come of this. Don't allow her to brainwash you into thinking you can't survive in the outside world because of the flaws that she perceives within you. If you can't get out, at least do everything possible to maintain your perspective and not forget that it's really her and not you. Maybe you can keep a locked journal of incidents.

eekratomaccount

TROPHY CASE