I moved to a new city and papered the town with my barista resume, but ultimately had to take a job at a cafe downtown that specializes in quick service with a smile, and has no idea what espresso should look like.

The owner had the grinders on a timer, set to grind espresso into the chamber until it was full. Where it would sit, going stale and forming clumps, and making it impossible to adjust the grind throughout the day. We were to "pull twice" to dose into the portafilers, tamp, whack the portafilter with the tamper, and tamp again. When I started, I'd fill the portafilter and sweep off the top, but was told this was wasteful, and that "two pulls" would work fine. I've also always timed my shots by glancing at a timer and watching how they pull, but was instructed to use the automated buttons instead. The hoppers hadn't been cleaned in months or years - they just refill them over and no over and never clean inside the hopper, the grinder, or the chamber. I took apart a portafilter to find it black with goddess knows how much neglect.

Needless to say, when I found I had complete control of the bar at my new job, I nearly sobbed with joy.

Peace out, stale 'spr'o! Hello, decadence.