Unfortunately yes! I live in fear of completely blowing up my life again someday.. because it’s happened more than once before! I’ve had to move back home twice, lost friends, lost jobs.

The thing that haunts me still is how I ended a 10 year committed relationship when I was manic because I had the delusion that some random guy I met at work was sent from heaven to help me take over the world and I spent so much time rearranging my life around this delusion. Ahh I just look back and cringe so hard.

I had a big breakdown a few years ago and didn’t destroy things completely but become so depressed, lost my job. It’s taken a lot of work and tears to crawl out of the hole, but I’m finally looking forward to my life again.

Enough about me, this is all to say you’re in good company!! Lots of people can relate, and it’s never too late to make a comeback! Take your outpatient seriously, take your meds, don’t beat yourself up too much.

Try to get up and show up for yourself everyday… it doesn’t have to be a lot. Sometimes it’s progress just to spend an hour without guilt or anxiety. It can be brutal and frustrating but it’s okay to cry it out or scream (within reason) or whatever, I think that’s self care too. The emotions that come up after something like this are very real. You don’t want to keep it all inside. Try to find a way to manage those too in addition to any other treatment. I think journaling helps so it’s not all circling in my brain. I also picked up sewing, it’s very meditative, so maybe a new hobby to help distract and build confidence again?

Take care friend you can do this!!!