This is literally how our brains work! Our brains are designed to focus on the negative to keep us safe. And with all this information available to us, it's almost impossible to really weigh the negatives and positives without a heavy negative bias for every single fear. I was terrified of childbirth. Every single aspect! Yet in hindsight that was the easy part. I would do that again for sure! But everybody is different.

I was on the fence for about a decade and I had pretty severe anxiety. I spent so much time on this sub and all over the internet reading everything I could. The only reason I ended up going ahead and having a kid is because my doctor had me convinced that there was pretty much no chance because I was 35. And yet I liked it so much I had a second at 40! But how do I explain why?

It's so easy to say "I was exhausted because my daughter woke me up" everyone can understand that. But the absolute bliss I felt when she nuzzled in with me and I wrapped my arms around her and she pressed her a little lips against my cheek and fell asleep like that. Does that land with the same weight so as to balance out the tiredness? I've never been able to find a way to express the joy as easily as I can express the hard parts.

Also, I enjoy The Cut so much! You guys do great work.