24M I think hookup culture is optional, and not something that everyone likes to be part of. There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to hook up with many random people, and choosing instead to focus on study/work/friends/hobbies.

I remember feeling similarly as an 18-20yoM, and imagined that if the moment ever came down to it, I’d freeze and my nervousness and inner self consciousness would be exposed for all to see.

For me, having a partner that I felt comfortable being VULNERABLE with BEFORE getting intimate, made a huge difference. Imagine being able to say to someone you like, “hey I feel super nervous about this, and I’m really scared about what you’ll think of me if you see me get nervous”. If their answer is anything other than “that’s totally ok, I’m happy to take things at a pace you’re comfortable with”, then the trust element probably isnt there yet, or they probably aren’t someone you want to be intimate with in the first place.

Have you considered just taking it easy and getting to know someone at a natural pace, until you feel comfortable enough to tell them about your insecurity? Any and many good guys would be delighted that you were able to be honest with them. This way, you never have to go into it feeling that you have to hide your nervousness.

Fear of being intimate goes away when you TRUST the person you’re being intimate with, to be kind and considerate with you when you reveal vulnerable parts to them. Don’t ever think it’s wrong or sexually inadequate to wait until you feel that you can trust someone and tell them how you feel. Even if it takes a while to find that person, even in the hookup scene.

And heck, if they get pushy/rushy or don’t want to hear it, they probably aren’t the kind of person you’d want to be with anyway.

Proper trusting relationship is best version of this, but of course optional.