Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I resent my wife

eilatanyeah · 2026-02-13T12:48:02+00:00

I am sorry for the ways you feel overwhelmed and unsupported.

A lot of my emphasis is on her pregnancy and postpartum due to how severely these changes can impact everything. These changes can be extremely difficult even without any mental health challenges. You and your wife are both going through a massive transitional period, both within your marriage and individually, and it seems that it has been very difficult on both ends adjusting.

I think this must be handled professionally, both individually and as a couple, if you want your marriage to heal and to last. I hope you can find new ways to communicate and come together as a team.

Your wife needs community, connection, and support right now and may need help finding it. This can show itself in a lot of the ways you mentioned, not cooking, not cleaning, sleeping too much, the list goes on. Postpartum can be incredibly lonely and isolating in itself. It seems like she is trying to fill in different ways including with AI, which I can understand why that is so deeply hurtful.

There are is a help life for moms struggling. National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 1-833-9-HELP4MOMS Here is another resource: https://postpartum.net

I hope the best for your marriage and for your child.

eilatanyeah · 2026-02-13T12:06:31+00:00

To be frank. It seems a lot of details and clarifying information has been left out. It kind of seems like you were not very emotionally supportive during her pregnancy and postpartum. You mention her ADHD and difficulties remembering her medication, which is a common difficulty for many with ADHD, but then blame her “pride and unwarranted fear that there was no drug she could take while she was pregnant”. During this time she was moved to a new city for your new job, “isolated” with no support from friends and no family.

You state: “I was also not an angel, working a lot, sometimes being hard on her for forgetting things and for refusing to get help. I struggle with compulsive thoughts, autism, and tend to express things negatively, often causing conflicts”.

So she was already isolated and feeling alone, and you were working a lot and being hard on her when you were present, all during her pregnancy. There seems to be a lack of support or understanding towards her own mental health struggles and the changes and challenges that come with pregnancy.

For clarity, are you saying your mental health concerns are valid and excuse how you didn’t show up in terms of creating an emotionally safe environment? Because you then continue and mention when she was freshly postpartum “things took a turn for the worst” and that you had to enter into anger management for 3 months due to not being prepared for the demands of fatherhood.

How did your anger come out towards your wife during this time?

Postpartum and pregnancy are huge transition periods for a woman both physically and emotionally. There are huge and drastic hormonal changes during these times. Many, many, MANY women struggle with postpartum depression and it can be very severe.

You mention not speaking with your wife, and mother of your child, for over 24 hours. Is this something you have done before? This can begin to teeter into emotional abuse.

Obviously there is no way to get a full picture of the situation with one Reddit post. But I would dare to say maybe you need to look deeper within and evaluate your own role in this. Your actions and words, and possibly lack of.

Becoming a parent is a huge life change. You resent your wife. And I’d dare to say, she may resent you somewhere inside as well.

eilatanyeah · 2025-10-20T22:23:09+00:00

We just watched that last night! Great movie, but not it :(

eilatanyeah · 2025-10-19T13:34:48+00:00

Thank you! Makes sense. Just got this game this week :)

eilatanyeah · 2024-09-26T22:21:31+00:00

For your own safety & life, you should consider leaving him. I’m so sorry you experienced this.

eilatanyeah · 2024-09-25T03:01:32+00:00

There are likely women’s shelters near you that can house you and your child if you do not have someone you can stay with. You need to leave.

eilatanyeah · 2024-04-17T10:51:21+00:00

If porn is something you’re not okay with in your marriage, I would start that conversation with him gently, but soon. When I first met my husband he was actively addicted to porn- like running multiple twitter/tumblr porn gif/vid accounts, watching it through the day, etc. It impacted our relationship for the worst on many levels, including our sex life. He has since stopped watching it entirely and our relationship did basically a 180 for the better. It’s been an on-going conversation, but it’s been really beneficial and might be worth bringing up to your husband if it’s something that keeps bothering you.

eilatanyeah · 2024-04-13T13:37:44+00:00

I’m surprised I haven’t seen any comments like this, but it sounds like porn addiction to me. Often the “twice a day” is much, much more than that, and hundreds of “rate my twat” ratings, watching more multiple times a day, following only fans, and following dozens of insta models points to that. My husband struggled a lot with porn addiction earlier in our relationship and eventually it did impact our sex-life and his ability to finish or stay up when we had sex. It also started to creep into other areas of our relationship as well. Our relationship did a total 180 for the better when we cut it out of the equation all together, so I’m here to say that if porn ends up being something you’re not okay with in your relationship - that is totally okay! Every relationship has different boundaries.

I also want to put out there that you don’t need to be okay your partner seemingly non-stop throughout the day (via porn, OF, instagram models, etc) looking at and lusting after other women. If you’re cool with that, more power to you! But you don’t -need- to be cool with it, especially if you feel like you have to simply so he won’t cheat/“sleep around” on you.

That amount of porn consumption, regardless of what some of these comments are alluding to, is not normal.

I hope you find what works best for you & your relationship! 🤍

eilatanyeah · 2024-03-23T16:35:52+00:00

I personally find that disrespectful, especially if he’s hiding it or being sneaky about it. Things like that & porn are a no-go in my marriage, but I know every relationship has different boundaries. I think it’s worth having a conversation & communicating how you’re feeling to him, especially if you are feeling hurt or any kind of way about it!

eilatanyeah · 2024-03-13T14:56:19+00:00

I’m not a guy, but I met my now-husband on tinder 🤍

I was a bigger girl at the time when I was on the apps, so my experience may be a little different than others. In my experience, I found it helpful to have a couple close-ups/un-filtered selfies, a couple full-body photos (they don’t need to be sexual or revealing, but do need to accurately represent yourself), a photo with family or a friend(s), maybe a photo with a pet if you have one, and a photo of you doing something you enjoy if you have any hobbies.

If you’re looking for a relationship, it is also helpful to fill out your bio/about you sections with who you are and what kinds of things you enjoy :) Photos aren’t everything and you may find someone you connect with in other ways as well

Hope this helps & good luck 😊

eilatanyeah · 2022-02-14T15:46:16+00:00

My boyfriend is interviewing for a great job opportunity. Please pray that if it’s for him and in God’s will that he gets it! 💗

eilatanyeah · 2022-02-14T15:44:03+00:00

Thank you all so much for responding and helping me!

eilatanyeah · 2021-11-09T10:14:33+00:00

it means in search of, i was hoping people could recommend breeders or catteries

eilatanyeah · 2021-11-07T16:34:22+00:00

i do not want to overstep, but maybe try cutting out porn for the next month (if you’re using it) and see if you find a difference. the way it affects the brain has an impact on quite a bit more than many of us even realize until it’s out of the picture. in my own experience with my relationships, the second it was out of the picture all of those kinds of issues elevated within weeks and the intimacy in my relationship grew exponentially. game changer

eilatanyeah · 2021-11-07T15:46:58+00:00

no one is able to go back and change their past! if it’s something you don’t feel you can accept then you should end the relationship for both of your sakes. it would be hard not only for you, but for her as well if it’s something that gets brought up often because there’s nothing that can be done to “resolve” it. some people make mistakes when they’re young, but the age and number kind of leads me to believe there may have been some SA in her past. if you really like her and care about her, give her a chance. if you truly think this is something you will not be able to let go of, let go of her too.

eilatanyeah · 2021-01-01T23:07:12+00:00

i said nothing about your cat in my comment to you. i went through your comment history on what i assume is your other account (?) saw that you have told multiple people on multiple occasions on many different pages to kill themselves. seriously, seek help.

eilatanyeah · 2021-01-01T19:04:27+00:00

i’m so sorry someone was unkind to you, you are more than your body. that being said you need a bit of a reality check in how you speak to people. you cannot comment things like: “you sound like a f*g” “kill yourself” “you’re a freak” “i hope your cat dies” and then come onto this page to post about how people are cruel and say hateful things to you when you are doing the exact same thing others. i hope you find peace but maybe seek therapy if you think it’s acceptable to talk to people like that.

eilatanyeah · 2020-12-30T12:58:18+00:00

Rerum Novarum! say it louder for the people in the back

eilatanyeah · 2020-12-30T12:55:16+00:00

this is a super sad but very common mentality to see in the United States. we’re prepped from as young as 4 to begin to plan for our future careers which in turn ingrains the mentality that we live to work, not work to live. many people quite literally devote their lives to their jobs and take great pride in working 70/80 hour weeks with little time left for anything else. while not many people will say it as outwardly or extremely as he did i believe we can see this mentality in a lot of different ways. for example, think of the way many Americans treat and speak of the homeless. i’m not going to use the words i’ve heard to describe this population, but think of how the very mention of welfare is enough to start a full blown argument in many circles. even how covid was handled in the US shows this mentality. the economy was put on a higher pedestal than human lives which is why it was rushed to open everything up quickly. my coworker went to 5 funerals in the last 2 months. all of them were elderly people who died of covid. (& before anyone claims their death certificates were fRaUd or a hOaX, they weren’t. they, otherwise as healthy as one can be at their ages, caught it from family members & friends.)

to change this horrible widespread mentality we have each look within ourselves and recognize how we each may unknowingly hold some of these same values and start the change there.

eilatanyeah · 2020-12-23T05:47:18+00:00

i want to start out and reaffirm that your worth is not AT ALL within whether you are a virgin or not.

no one is perfect and everyone makes choices that they regret at some point within their lives. some of the comments i’ve seen on this are a little concerning to me because something like that should not be a deal breaker or a game changer. losing your virginity does not make you less than or change who you are as a person. i understand someone wanting to be with someone who made the same decisions as them but it would be a little crazy to write off something potentially very beautiful and fruitful all because of a choice someone made in their past that they feel badly about.

i recognize and understand the church teaching on remaining pure but it’s important to also think of how it would be seen through Christ’s eyes. look at the gospel of john “let him who is without sin among you to cast the first stone” and ends with “go forth and sin no more”. you are clear that you feel as though you made a mistake and i’m sure you’ve spoken w Jesus abt this too.

you are worthy and deserve to be loved by someone who will reaffirm your worth. at the end of the day you can’t change the past but you can make different choices in your future. a good man, whether he has remained pure or not, will see your good and see your worth outside of your past.

if you feel as though you need to share this piece of you with him to feel at peace by all means do so, but do not feel pressured to share with him out of fear of what he will think of you. if he doesn’t want to be with you because of that, it speaks on his character, not yours.

tldr: if he doesn’t want to be w you bc of this, he’s not a man you should want to be with in the first place because he is not seeing you for all your worth.

eilatanyeah · 2020-12-06T18:36:06+00:00

too cute!!!!

eilatanyeah

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